


The Darkest Things I've Seen

by anyothergirl415



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Blood, Creepy, Dark, M/M, Mild Gore, Recreational Drug Use, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-05
Updated: 2009-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 23:43:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyothergirl415/pseuds/anyothergirl415





	1. Chapter 1

The roses his Momma had been planting lay scattered across the grass. Which seemed a little odd to Jared, but that was just kind of his Momma. It seemed she was always doing something odd that made Jared smile; after all, she always stressed how important non- conformity was.

What Jared did notice – before the smoke, before his hand could reach out for the doorknob and consequently get burned – was his older brother, sitting beneath the willow tree in the neighbors yard.

“Hey Jeff!” Jared called, walking away from the front porch and towards the chain link fence separating the two yards. “Whatcha doin’ over there? Ol’ Miss. Hettinger is gonna beat your butt for being on her lawn!”

Jeff’s eyes were sad and he looked so pale that Jared almost thought he could see through him but that was just kind of silly. “Don’t go in!” His brother whispered, only the words circled his head like a gust of wind.

“I don’t-“

“Jared,” His Momma appeared seemingly out of no where beside Jeff, navy blue sundress billowing around her.

“Hey Momma!” Jared began, a little hesitant because she was looking just as pale as Jeff and he’d never seen her eyes so sad before. Then he remembered the picture in his hand and held it up triumphantly, “Look what I made today! See that’s me! That’s you and there’s dad and I even made Jeff!”

“You need to go to Mr. Davis’ house son,” His Momma insisted, moving close to him.

Jared tilted his head curiously for a number of reasons. One – he only went to Mr. Davis’ for emergencies, like when Jeff fell out of a tree last summer and his parents had to take him to the hospital. Two – something was definitely burning and it burnt his nostrils now when he inhaled. And third – his Momma sort of glided across the ground; he was pretty positive her legs didn’t move.

“But Momma,” He said softly and fear began to crawl up inside him. Jared always tried to be his bravest – even when the nightlight burnt out and the shadows cast odd shapes on the floor – but something very unpleasant was happening and he just didn’t know what.

“You get going son,” His Dad appeared on the other side of Jeff. Only he wasn’t pale and gray like them. He was red, burning like fire. “Wouldn’t want you getting caught in the blaze.”

Jared turned to his house then and it was like taking off headphones. The sudden swell of wood snapping and tiny explosions popping made him reflexively reach up to cover his ears. His house was burning down.

Someone was wrapping real, solid arms around him, lifting him from the ground and carrying him away. He squirmed against them until finally he was set on the sidewalk across the street.

“Jared? Son, are you okay?” The voice belonged to Mr. Davis. But Jared didn’t feel much like talking.

Instead he gazed through glassy eyes into Miss Hettinger’s yard where the ghostly images of his family stood. His Momma and Jeff waved before his Dad wrapped arms tight around them and lead them into the fire.

~20 Years Later~

“Fuck Chris I have told you a million times,” Jensen Ackles slammed a fist down hard on the bar top, rattling the glasses surrounding him. “You pay the money, I supply the goods. Just because you’re my best friend doesn’t mean I’m givin’ the shit away.”

“You’re a dick, you know that right?” Chris growled though he pushed himself slightly out of the stool to retrieve his wallet from his back pocket. “What the fuck am I supposed to tell Tommy when rent’s short?”

Jensen snorted, palming the two bills before tucking them into his jean pocket and pulling his book bag up into his lap, “The truth? You needed secrets to how the world runs but they came at a price.”

“Yeah, the fuckin’ roof over my head,” Chris mumbled into his lifted glass before taking a long pull.

Jensen only smiled in return, sliding two zip drives across the glossed surface, “Now listen, this shit’s important. You use the blue one first. Access codes and overrides are in alphabetically marked folders. _Make sure_ you erase any folder starting with 69 before uploading the green one okay?”

Chris arched an eyebrow, fingers closing around the devices, “69?”

“Thought you’d enjoy that,” Jensen grinned mischievously, index finger moving to push up the wire framed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. “Do it right dude or your computer will be fried. Either that or it’ll be wide open for hackers and you’ll have a whole lot of company you sure aren’t ready for.”

“Fuck, this better be worth it,” Chris gestured for the bartender before turning to stare out at the club’s patronage. It was definitely a slow night and Chris suspected they’d better leave soon before his reputation took a hit. “You comin’ back to mine? Steve got some fine ass shit, you look like you could use a toke or two.”

“Nah, I got my own,” Jensen pushed from the bar stool, leaving a ten dollar bill on the counter. “’Sides, I promised Mike I’d get that program to him tomorrow. Plus there’s this auction I’ve had my eye on. Ends tonight.”

“Oh yeah? More collectable lunch boxes?” Chris chuckled, downed the new beer the bartender had just brought him in one long pull before rising as well. “What’s this one? Backstreet Boys or N’SYNC?”

“Fuck you,” Jensen retorted, smile widening across his lips.

A loud groan left Chris’ lips as he dropped his own money by the empty glasses, “Shit don’t tell me. Hanson?”

Rolling his eyes Jensen made for the door, holding it open for Chris to follow him out, “Damn Kane, you just ruined your surprise birthday gift.”

“Aw fuck,” Chris shook his head, grinning wide and slapping Jensen on the shoulder before turning and starting off down the street, calling over his shoulder. “See you soon Jenny, don’t be a stranger.”

“Don’t forget 69!” Jensen called after him, several passers by turning to them with wide eyes.

Chris merely flipped him the bird before turning the corner and disappearing out of sight.

For the most part Jensen enjoyed the walk to his one bedroom apartment from the bar he most often frequented. He’d lived in the city for so long he knew all the back routes that were safe and all the ways to make a hasty exit if you happened upon something you shouldn’t be seeing.

But generally the streets were empty, especially at this time of night when any average person was home asleep, and any socializing person was holed up indoors.

So mostly Jensen allowed his mind to wonder during these times, imagining programs and overrides, passwords that change every sixty seconds for ultimate protection. It made him smile and he didn’t notice the long pair of legs stretched out across the alley until he tripped over them.

It was almost reflex to tense and he hastily pushed himself up from the slightly damp concrete, turning to see whoever he’d presumably pissed off, apology hanging on his tongue, “Dude, I’m- whoa.”

The man in front of him stared with bright hazel eyes, hands hovering over a pair of large head phones, “You’re alone.”

“Well um… yeah?” Jensen stepped back, thinking now might be one of those times to make a very quick exit.

The man blinked rapidly for several long moments, pulling off the headset and taking a large step forward, “So normal… no death. No… _them_.”

Yeah, Jensen was really thinking a hasty exit was a fantastic idea. Only then the giant of a man fainted, collapsing by his feet and Jensen can’t bring himself to just leave him there.

So he pulled out his cell phone and called Chad, the guy who lives next door. “What?” The man answered, sounding a little less then drunk so he may be of use yet.

“I need a hand. I’m two blocks from the building behind the 7-11 and my um… friend… passed out. Come help me lug him home.”

“What’s in it for me?” Chad asked which really wasn’t too surprising on his part.

“A free dime bag douche, now c’mon,” Jensen snapped the phone closed before Chad could try for more free stuff. Chad was pretty much always hard up for cash so anything with the word ‘free’ attached generally had him salivating and he’d normally push the offer as far as possible.

Sure enough, less then ten minutes later Chad was making his way down the alley. He stopped in front of the passed out man, eyeing him suspiciously. “Shit Jensen, I didn’t realize your sex life was so bad you’re resorting to date rape now.”

“Shut up Murray or it’ll only be a nickel,” Jensen retorted easily, bending at the waist to grasp one of the man’s arms. “Help me get him up.”

With a lot of panting and huffing they managed to pull the guy up – who vaguely came too, at least enough to put one foot in front of the other and allow them to lead the way. He was at least five or so inches taller then Jensen, and gangly, like maybe he never eats a full meal.

When they finally made it into Jensen’s apartment they deposited him on the couch. His feet dangled off the edge and he fell back into the coma-like state. Jensen got rid of Chad by handing over a premeasured bag – not bothering to weigh it even though Chad attempts to with his eyes. Jensen didn’t short people and Chad knew it so he left with a shrug.

He considered the man on the couch for several long minutes. Generally he’s a pretty smart guy – he did graduate from MIT after all – so he knew that bringing a random stranger into your house – who may or may not be crazy – was not a smart idea.

It’s just, those eyes looked so lost and that face was screaming pain and there was something else, a strange shift in the air around him that Jensen couldn’t resist. His curiosity was just too great.

So he laid a blanket over the lengthy form and moved to the computer desk to begin work on Mike’s program.

*

 _The end of the long hallway was on fire and his Momma was running toward it. He watched with wide panicked eyes, desperately wanting to call out to stop her, only a hand gripped firmly over his lips and he couldn’t move._

 _Looking up, he met the angry eyes of his father, “Not for you son.”_

 _Then walls turned red and his brother’s voice singing ‘One Tin Solider’ echoed from invisible speakers, “Do it in the name of heaven, you can justify in the end.”_

 _Jared didn’t understand and he wished someone would explain it to him because the walls were crumbling and his family was vanishing. And the fire is circling around him but it won’t come any closer, it won’t take him though that’s what he wants more then anything._

 _He was running now, from pale barely visible people that never leave him alone. Spiders crawl up the walls that are shrinking and even though Jared’s only six years old he’s suddenly too big for everything around him. Because he was not six anymore, he was all grown and he was all alone._

 _Then there are green eyes and he’s awake._

*

“I didn’t break it!” Jensen jerked up in his computer chair, scrubbing a hand over his dry eyes. He looked around through the fuzzy haze of his desk until he spotted his glasses to the left of the keyboard and pulled them on, spinning to face the yelp that had come from the couch. “Shit dude. You okay?”

“Jared,” The tall man said, eyes watering slightly as he stood.

“No. Jensen,” He said before it occurred to him that maybe the guy didn’t like being called dude so he was just correcting him. “Oh right. You’re Jared.”

“Jensen,” Jared repeated, voice level with not a hint of emotion.

Jensen stared at him in confusion. It was really starting to look a lot more like Jared was crazy and therefore having him around was probably not a good idea. He just wasn’t exactly sure how to go about kicking him out. Don’t get him wrong, he had plenty of experience with awkward morning afters but somehow it’s easier to kick someone out when you’ve had your dick up their ass the night before.

“So um,” He was not very good with people outside his usual circle of friends, and he has pretty much known all of them for half his life. It’s the reason he never had a single relationship ever – unless you count that Jason guy he actively fucked for about two weeks, which he didn’t. “Coffee?”

“I eat pears.”

“Alright…” Jensen pushed back from his computer desk and walked the short distance through the living room into the kitchen. “I uh, I’ve got bananas?”

“Pears,” Jared corrected, keeping his eyes trained on him.

The urge to open his door and kick the guy out flat on his ass grew, “Right. I have no pears. Do you want a banana?”

Tears curved up along the rims of Jared’s eyes making them shine in the light of the living room, “I’m sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t- but then you didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“Whoa Jared, hey calm down,” Jensen took a few hesitant steps forward, fingers curling around the cell phone in his pocket just incase the guy full out lost it and he needed to dial 911. Maybe he could scream and maybe Chad might be sober enough to actually hear it.

“There’s blades and you’re mad. It’s red and I’m sorry,” Jared continued murmuring to himself though his voice dropped below a whisper and he pulled his headset up over his ears, dropping down onto the couch and rocking back and forth.

Now Jensen’s mom had raised him with basic rules of social etiquette and though he’d lost most of them in his twenty-nine years on this planet, the one about not staring always stuck with him. Until now that is. Now he can’t seem to pull his eyes away from the giant of a man who’s nearly folded in on himself.

There was very little that Jensen couldn’t handle. He’s been almost mugged three times, had his computer hacked more then a dozen times, and he couldn’t even begin to count how often his life had been put into one of his friend’s hands when he’d drank and smoked too much. Only now he couldn’t stop staring at Jared and he had no fucking idea what to do.

Grabbing his coat he made the executive decision to hit up that market four blocks over and buy some pears because Jared was looking so pathetically sad his heart just couldn’t handle it anymore. “Hey I’m gonna go get some pears okay? I’m not mad. I’ll be back in ten minutes, I swear.”

He was not completely sure Jared’s heard him, but he pockets his wallet regardless and made for the front door, only hesitating slightly when he thought about leaving the guy alone in his apartment. Just cause the guy’s definitely crazy doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to destroy the place or anything and his computer’s pretty securely password protected so ten minutes should be okay.

Halfway down the second flight of stairs he stopped because the voice of a guy down the hall, talking to a lady with her door barely propped open, caught his attention, “No I’m sorry, you really have to go.”

“Please ma’am just, if you see him, he’s about 6’5”, fairly skinny. He probably won’t answer to you but his name is Jared-“

“Right,” The lady cut him off by shutting the door sharply in his face.

Jensen considered the man for a long moment. He seemed pretty decent, short brown hair spiked casually – probably naturally – just the faintest trace of stubble but not in a creepy-guy-you’d-meet-in-an-deserted-parking-lot-and-run-for-you-life-from stubble. Plus, Jared’s obviously not getting any more sane, “’Scuse me, you lookin’ for Jared?”

He spun toward him, crossing the hallway in five long steps, “Yes. You’ve seen him?”

“Somethin’ like that,” Jensen nodded and turned around to walk back up the stairs. “He passed out in front of me last night. My friend and I helped him back to my place and he crashed on the couch.”

“Fuckin’ Jared,” The guy sighed, following him up the steps.

“Yeah, he uh, kinda lost it a little,” Jensen tried for casual, not sure what this person knew about Jared or if this insanity thing was a recent issue. “Something about a pear?”

“It’s a security thing,” He stated simply, but his pace quickened just a fraction. “He’s probably really thrown. Jared doesn’t do well in new environments.”

“So you’re his, what… care giver?”

“Kind of. I’m Misha Collins by the way…” The way he dragged out the end of the sentence was like a question and Jensen turned to him with a casual smile, holding out a hand.

“Jensen Ackles.”

They shook hands briefly before continuing down the hall, stopping at Jensen’s front door where he pulled out his keys. He hesitated halfway through turning the lock, “Can I… what’s wrong with him?”

Misha’s face was somewhere between uncomfortable and resigned, like he knew this question was just around the corner. Of course if he spent any time at all with Jared – which he obviously did – then he would know why anyone else would be curious.

“Jared’s just…” Misha shrugged as if that might explain it all and pushed a hand up through his hair. It shifted back into its casual spikiness, confirming the natural thing. “He had a rough childhood and sometimes things just don’t work right in his mind. It’s really not my place to explain, you know?”

Jensen didn’t quite understand whose place it would be to explain if not the man’s care giver, but decided not to push the issue. He had no reason to be nosey, really. Jared would leave with Misha and he could chalk this whole night up to bizarre karma for not hanging out with Chris and the crew.

So he nodded once and turned the key the rest of the way, pushing the door open and stepping inside. He was not really that surprised to see Jared still sitting on the couch. Only now he was scribbling frantically over a piece of computer paper he’d obviously taken from the printer tray. The paper already had several dark holes in it, pressing through against the fabric of his denims.

“Jared,” Misha pushed past him, quickly crossing to the couch and reaching a hand out to lay it gently on the man’s shoulder.

His head turned up and his eyes widened for just a moment before he pushed back the headset, standing and wrapping long arms around the shorter man, “Misha! I lost you!”

Misha chuckled low and Jensen watched the look of sheer relief filter across his features, hand running soothingly up along the curve of Jared’s back. “Nah Jay, I’m pretty sure I lost you. But seriously man, you know not to leave the apartment.”

“Lexis was there and the walls were breathing. It hurt my head and I-“ He stopped suddenly as he pulled back and looked over at Jensen who was oddly rooted to the spot. “Jensen.”

“Right,” Misha looked from Jared to Jensen and back. “Jensen was very nice to let you stay here. I hope you said thank you.”

“But there’s none… he’s got no one. He’s all alone!” Jared gave a near hysterical laugh and planted both hands heavily down onto Misha’s shoulders. “Do you _hear_ me?”

Something significant passed between them and Jensen raised a curious eyebrow. It was a little scary, Jared saying he was all alone. He had said it the night before too – back when Jensen thought he might just be a little drunk. Now it made his heart thump in a weird way and he cleared his throat, “What do you mean I’m all alone?”

Jared turned back to him and stepped forward, holding both hands out in front of him, “They follow almost everyone and they whisper things to me. Everyone’s got ‘em. You can’t fight ‘em. But you’re alone. No one’s alone. Misha maybe. I made Misha’s go away. Not yours. And your walls are free. This place is clean.”

Jensen cast a look around the small stack of trash by the kitchen, larger pile of clothes peaking out behind the couch, computer desk overflowing with blank CDs and cords. It was safe to say Jared didn’t mean his place is literally clean. Blinking a few more times he turned to Misha, “Dude?”

“Uh, Jay, maybe we should go home,” Misha moved forward hesitantly and Jensen could see the strange light in his eyes just like Jared’s. Whatever the tall man was going on about obviously meant something to Misha.

Jared turned to him with a sad pout, stuffing large hands into his pockets, “Pear?”

“Yeah, we’ll get a pear,” Misha nodded and looped his hand inside Jared’s arm. “Thanks again Jensen, sorry for um… well you know.”

Jensen could only nod a little dumbfounded and watched them walk to the front door. They were almost through before his voice returned, “Wait! I can’t… you’re really not going to explain this to me?”

“I can’t,” Misha shrugged helplessly, eyeing Jared who was already slipping a headset over his ears.

He stopped though when Jensen’s eyes fixed on his back. Slowly he turned back to Jensen, eyes shinning again with whatever it was that nagged at some unnamed part of Jensen’s mind. In less then a heartbeat the man crossed the short hallway, cupped a hand behind Jensen’s neck and pulled forward.

Soft lips sealed against his – dry and chapped with morning – pressed with more force then necessary. Jensen’s arms hung in limp surprise at his sides and Jared stepped back, releasing all contact. For a long breath they simply stood there, eyes locked, world fading around them.

Then Jared’s face split into the widest, brightest, toothiest grin Jensen had ever seen and the air around him tingled with heat.

“Bye Jensen.”

Jared turned, pulled on his headset, and walked out the door before Jensen remembered to breathe. Misha was staring with wide shocked eyes, mouth slightly open.

“Misha…” Jared’s voice echoed in from the hallway.

He continued to stare for a beat longer before giving just the slightest shrug of his left shoulder and turned to follow Jared out into the hall.

*

Jared munched happily on his pear, staring at the speckled pattern across its green surface. If he tilted it just to the right he could see the moon. A hand caressed his arm and he smiled over at Misha. Behind the dark hair line he could see the passing street and he vaguely remembered that they were in a taxi cab. It was better to drive during the day because there were too many people along the sidewalk.

“Jay,” Misha pushed the headset gently and Jared returned his attention back to his friend. “What were you thinking last night?”

“Last night…” Jared bit his bottom lip, turning from Misha to the front. Someone red sat in the front seat, a sticky sort of substance dripping from the wide gash in her neck and he couldn’t stifle a shiver.

There was a sigh beside him and Misha cupped his wrist gently, “Jared, look at me.”

Tears spiked along Jared’s eyes and he had to force himself to turn away from the sight, “Blood. Cuts and scars and god it hurts.”

“I know,” Misha ran a hand soothingly through his hair and Jared leaned into the touch, focusing on the peace his friend provided.

“I’m sorry. Last night with Lexis. Did I hurt her?”

“She just doesn’t understand yet. I think you confused her is all. What exactly happened? What did she say?”

“Don’t be angry with her. Lexis is sweet. I- she’s like roses yeah? And I’m kinda thorns. But it’s sad. She’s got several and they circle her. Great tragedies?” Jared rested his head against Misha’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “Everything just got dark so I needed air. Didn’t mean to walk so far but I lost my way.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Misha reassured, circling his arm tightly around Jared’s shoulder. “We’ll explain it to Lexis and she’ll be okay, but Jared, maybe we should tell her what’s going on? It’ll help.”

Everything in Jared tensed and he jerked back against the taxi door, “I can’t. No. Black. Black. Can’t.”

“Okay, okay Jared it’s okay,” Misha reached out, pulling Jared back to him. “We won’t tell. I know it scares you.”

“It’s just what they…” Jared trailed off but he didn’t need to finish the thought for Misha to know what he was talking about. He remembered it all really well.

~6 Years Ago~

“Don’t even try it fuckin’ douche, I will kick. Your. Ass,” Misha laughed, shoving his friend hard.

“A fuckin’ baby could kick your ass Collins, no threat in the slightest.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Misha shook his head, casting a final wave over his shoulder as he turned left down the alley toward his apartment.

The sun was just finishing it’s dip beneath the horizon and the shadows of the alley stretched long and ghost like. Street lights were just beginning to flicker on and Misha tucked his hand in the pockets of his jeans as he walked. Whistling the theme song to Star Wars because it was the easiest and most entertaining.

Something crackled up ahead and his whistle wavered slightly as he squinted into the mostly darkness and tried to make sense of the moving shape, “Hello?” He called carefully.

“Can’t take the noise. Can’t breath. Can’t see. Can’t. Can’t,” The form chanted, rocking back and forth against the garbage.

Misha had never seen such a sad sight, thin form curled in on itself, knees pulled up to his chest, “Hey… hey, are you okay?” He moved towards him, hand reaching out.

Bright, glassy hazel eyes looked up at him, blinking slowly, “Your mom died.”

He recoiled with a sharp hiss, eyes wide, “Excuse me?”

“Death and red. You’re angry.” Tears finally spilled down along his cheeks and he crawled forward on dirt covered hands. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.”

“Well um, it’s okay…” Misha watched him with raised eyebrows, taking in the thin form shifting in clothes that almost swallowed him. He made up his mind in that moment, stepping forward and bending to curve an arm under the boney chest and lift up. “Let’s get you back to my place.”

“Car crash,” His head dipped into the curve of Misha’s neck as they made slow progress down the alleyway. “Quick. Quick though.”

Misha tried not to consider the meaning behind those words, or how freaky it was that this complete stranger seemed to know not only that his mother was dead but how she died as well, “What’s your name?”

“She misses you. Like purple,” He jerked back and locked eyes. “She’s proud. Of you. Misha. Your mom is.”

He wasn’t completely sure how to describe the feeling tugging at his heart and a fairly large part of him screamed to push the boy back and run. A much smaller part that wanted to believe the wide innocence in those hazel eyes won out, “You can really see my mom.”

“She’s gone now. White nothing. Just wanted you to know.”

His heart clenched almost painfully and it took him somewhere around five minutes to muster the energy for coherency. Finally he managed to spit out, “Who are you?”

“Jared Padalecki.”

It worked to kick start his brain again and he looped a hand across Jared’s waist. “Alright Jared Padalecki, let’s get you fixed up.” He resigned himself to Jared’s possible insanity and led him the rest of the way down the alley.

  
Three weeks passed before Jared’s sentences contained less colors and more logical phrases – or as logical as it seemed Jared would ever get. The first week was spent slowly building up the man’s diet. Misha didn’t even want to know how very little Jared had been eating, considering the first time he tried anything of substance he couldn’t keep it down.

By the third week a somewhat healthy glow was starting to spread across his cheeks. Misha doubted he’d ever fill out in the way his height was meant for but eventually he wouldn’t be skin and bones, so that was something.

Any time he attempted to get personal information from Jared, he would shut down. Misha learned during these times that when panic began to rise up in the man the rambling and comparing things to colors tended to creep back into his phrases. Sometimes it was easy to calm him down, other times he’d lock himself away in the guest room, pull the blanket over his head and rock back and forth for hours.

It took Misha three months to get Jared to talk about where he’d been before the alley that night. Turned out it was mostly nowhere.

“I was in a home, like an orphanage, until I turned eighteen. Then they kicked me out. So I left and lived just… here. Not here. But there. Around, you know?” Jared shrugged casually, leaning against Misha’s side. It made bile rise up along the back of Misha’s throat, knowing how cruel people could be.

For the first few weeks after Jared’s arrival, there’d been several half attempts at arm touches and hugs, all of which Jared had awkwardly jerked back from, eyes wide with worry. Around his fifth week – when he’d been crying late at night under the covers – Misha had crawled onto the bed beside him and held him tightly. After that Jared no longer moved from any touch, even initiating it when things got too overwhelming, and then just because he could.

Misha had a theory that Jared was extremely starved for attention. It turned out to be true and any time Jared mentioned the orphanage – however offhandedly – anger boiled up in him.

Four years after Jared entered his world, four years spent learning his quirks and oddities and how to help or prevent them, Jared finally confided the story that started the entire downfall of his life. Misha listened to him explain the death of his family, tears streaming down his cheeks, and he could only hold him and try not to imagine what it would feel like to be so young and so alone.

After six years together Misha didn’t think he could imagine a life without Jared. Even if it meant keeping any sort of relationship going was nigh impossible. It turned out to be a lot harder to explain a semi-crazy roommate to potential girlfriends than he’d first expected.

But Jared was worth it, so Misha figured he could survive off miscellaneous one night stands until the right girl came around, even if they occasionally ended in Jared knocking on the door and asking them to stop because the ground was shaking and the walls were glowing neon pink. It earned him some pretty entertaining looks, which made up for being left high and dry or jerking off alone in the shower.

*

Jensen starred at the ceiling for three long hours after Jared left with Misha before he began to accept the fact that he would be getting no more sleep. It wasn’t as if the kiss had been anything spectacular, all dry and parched and just lips against lips with no movement, but he couldn’t get it out of his head.

He couldn’t get _Jared_ out of his head was what it all boiled down too.

There are about a million reasons he should’ve let the memory of the man fade. The first, and probably most significant, is the fact that Jared was obviously not all there. Jensen had a hard enough time looking after himself; he couldn’t be expected to keep an eye on a boyfriend too.

Not that he had started thinking of Jared in potential boyfriend terms. Seriously, he didn’t even know where Jared lived, or his phone number, or if he was even with it enough to think of things in a sexual nature. Misha had looked pretty shocked after the whole kiss thing.

“Fuck,” He growled, yanking the pillow out from beneath his head to use for self suffocation.

When the phone rang in the next minute he gladly welcomed the distraction. His brain was operating on overload. Chris’ name flashed across the caller ID and he answered with a clipped, “What fucker?”

“Top o’ the mornin’ to ya!” Chris responded in the worse Irish accent Jensen had ever heard.

“It’s after two idiot.”

“Well, you know, when in Rome.”

Jensen rolled out of bed, stumbling into the kitchen to flip on the coffee pot, “Doesn’t that only work if you’re in the place? For instance, Ireland?” Opening the fridge he pulled out a Red Bull and downed half the can in one large pull.

“We’re eatin’ at Bennigan’s,” Chris explained and Jensen could just make out Mike singing horribly in the background.

“Did you guys let Mike near the Vodka again?”

“Fuck the Vodka! We’re high as Mount Timbuktu!”

“Mount Everest.”

“That too,” There was a long pause in which Jensen could hear loud slurping, obviously the Vodka’s not that far off. “Join us fucker!”

Jensen weighed his options. He could stay home, pretend to do really important stuff but mostly consume himself with thoughts of Jared. Or he could go get wasted and stoned with his friend’s and most likely really regret it the next morning.

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” He hung up on Chris’ cheer and finished his Red Bull in one final pull.

  
Jensen showed up twenty five minutes later – having made the executive decision a shower was desperately needed – Chad in tow because he’d ran into him in the hallway and Chris and Mike took great pleasure in fucking him up and making him do ridiculous things. Like drink strange concoctions they’d made from all the condiments in their fridge or take off his pants so they could shave designs in his leg hair. Then there was the one time with the candle wax and Chad’s ass but the memory still made Jensen slightly nauseous so he tried not to picture it.

Generally having Chad around made for a more entertaining evening and Jensen figured he could use all the help he could get in erasing Jared from his mind.

“Jenny my love!” Mike called in greeting, falling out of the chair and stumbling over to throw an arm around Jensen shoulder. “My sun! My moon! How do I survive without me.”

“Get off,” Jensen shoved him, sliding onto a chair beside Tom and filling the empty glass in front of him with beer from the pitcher sitting in the center of the table. “Where’s Chris and Steve?”

“Left just after he called,” Tom shrugged.

“Said they had to go see a man about a thing,” Mike pushed Chad into the seat beside him, automatically pouring him a beer.

Jensen arched an eyebrow over his glass, clearing his throat, “You know that means they’re probably fucking in your van right?”

“I know. Finally got that wireless video recorder set up. Ultimate blackmail baby.”

Chad snorted into his beer, foam spraying up around him along his cheeks, “Whatever. You just want to use it to jack off.”

“Aw and to think, Chad, I was going to burn you a copy!” Mike slapped him hard on the back. Chad flushed, opening his mouth to protest, but Mike continued on before he could. “Have you _heard_ the noises Chris makes? This is probably the best idea I’ve ever had.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Tom chuckled low in his throat.

“What happened with tall, drunk and comatose, Jensen?” Chad asked, leaning back a little as Mike refilled his beer. He was pretty used to letting Mike or Chris provide his drinks, never seemed to question why. It just proved Jensen’s theory that some wires weren’t connected right in Chad’s brain, it’s the only explanation as to why he had yet to realize the men always made an idiot out of him.

That or he really didn’t mind being the brunt of most of the group’s jokes.

“Just drink your beer,” Jensen hissed but it was too late, the damage was done and he flinched as a heavy arm fell across his shoulder.

“Jenny! You brought home a boy! Wherever did you find him?” Chris plopped into the seat beside him, snatching up the beer in Jensen’s fingers and pulling it forward to take a long swig.

“You reek,” Jensen scrunched up his nose, pushed his chair further away from Chris after he’d grabbed back his beer. “Sex is not a good smell for you.”

“It’s the best smell,” Steve protested.

“Don’t think you’re getting out of the whole bringing a boy home business. Details Jenny, cough ‘em up,” Chris smirked, wrapping an arm tight around Steve and pulling him flush against his side.

“He was just some guy, passed out in the alley behind the 7-11. Chad and I helped him back to my place where he slept on the couch. End of story.”

“And this morning?”

“And nothing,” Jensen shook his head. He wasn’t sure if he could even begin to explain the oddity that was Jared even if he wanted too. But then he figured it was just going to drive him crazy until he put it out there for examination so he told them everything in full detail, down to Misha’s random appearance the floor below and how rough Jared’s lips had felt against his own.

When he finished every guy at the table was staring at him, jaws slightly slack. It occurred to him now – a little late obviously – that telling every detail about Jared was dooming the entire relationship. One that he didn’t really want anyway so it was okay he supposed.

“Did he really tell you that you were all alone?” Tom quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah but I don’t think he meant it in the way it sounds.”

“Shit boy you need to get laid,” Chris shook his head, reaching across the table to shove Chad. “Go get another pitcher of beer bitch.”

“Asswipe,” Chad grumbled as he slid from the seat and only slightly stumbled to the bar.

“What does that have to do with…” Jensen’s eyes sharpened. “I get laid.”

Mike chuckled, downing the rest of his beer. “Right, yeah you get laid all the time.”

“I got laid just last week!”

“Dude, getting a blow job in the back of shitty bar from some guy who’s got a wife sitting at home is not getting laid. It’s being desperate. Whens the last time you brought someone home and fucked them?”

“I really don’t think it’s any of your business.”

“It’s been at least six months,” Chad informed, dropping back in his chair after refilling his drink and setting the pitcher beside the empty ones.

They all turned to stare at Chad now – who flushed brightly when he realized saying that was not a straight proving fact, “Dude, he lives next door and screams like a banshee during sex. Give me a break.”

Steve turned to Jensen, “You might want to look into a restraining order.”

“How could that possibly work?” Chad huffed, finishing his beer before pouring himself another one.

They chose to ignore him and Mike waved a finger in Jensen’s general direction, “Point is this. You’ve got some obvious obsession with this Jared freak right? You’ve been moonin’ over him all night and he’s not even here. Either you find the guy and fuck him, get him out of your system or get someone else. Either way you gotta get laid ‘cause it’s startin’ to affect your thought process.”

“Damn aren’t you the romantic?” Tom shook his head and stood from the chair. “I’ve got a date but,” He moved to Jensen’s side and laid a hand across his shoulder. “Don’t listen to them okay? If you want a relationship with this guy, even if you think he’s a little crazy, there’s nothing wrong with getting to know him. You should look him up. Misha’s a weird name, I’m sure they’ve got to be listed somewhere. You’re the best computer hacker I know.”

Jensen grinned at him as his hand ruffled up in Tom’s hair. “Gee thanks Tommy.” He teased, “Hot date tonight?”

“Hell yeah,” Tom grinned back, slapping Mike on the back of the head and saying, “Don’t be such a douche,” before casting them a final wave and walking out of the bar.

“Let’s go,” Steve stood. “I’ve got some really great shit at home and this beer is getting stale.”

They all rose from the table and Chad ended up paying most of the tab, but he was already swaying and grinning at the idea of good weed so he didn’t seem to mind too much.

As they made their way out into the night – Mike shoving Chad ahead to watch him fumble with unlocking the van, Chris and Steve lagging behind to share a long, wet kiss – Jensen couldn’t help thinking about what Tom said. He’s never had a boyfriend, never cared about having one and he just couldn’t figure out why it should matter now.

“God I’m fucked,” Jensen hissed, fist clenched to his sides.

“Not nearly enough,” Chris pointed out as he dragged Steve past him, hands clenched together.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes on really warm days, Jared would sit outside in the shade of the large oak trees scattered throughout the park two blocks from their apartment. Occasionally he’d bring a book – when Misha surprised him with a new release since Jared’s read most of everything else – but normally he’d simply listen to music and watch the mother’s and father’s play with their young children.

Nine times out of ten the park was a safe zone for him. They were still there – they were _always_ there – but normally only ghostly pale, almost invisible in the bright sun light. Jared likes listening to the little kids laugh because they’re made of rainbows and butterflies and everything shines a little more when they were around.

Inevitably though, the tenth time comes around and he’s never prepared for it. The last time was over six months ago. Afterwards he’d nearly run home, collapsing onto the couch, overcome with shaky fear. Jared’s seen bad and couldn’t really handle when bad things cross over to the mostly good.

Now, as he sat beneath the giant oak and slowly shredded a blade of grass – faint smile dancing across his lips – he’s fully unprepared for it.

The man was on the other side of the playground, dark trench coat and ball cap standing out in stark contrast to the warm summer clothes of those around him. It wasn’t the outfit that had him suddenly shaking, eyes wide with fear.

It was the dozen or so bloody children surrounding him. Wailing so loudly he couldn’t believe no one else could hear it. They were red, pulsating with anger and fear and Jared was going to be sick, he knew it.

Desperately he wanted to flee, run to the safety of his home because they’d realized he was watching and were now coming over. It never took them long to figure out who could see them. Most of the time the white ones didn’t approach – just stared curiously – and never spoke unless he was right beside them.

But the red ones, the black ones, always sought him out. Sometimes they craved revenge – like these children – other times they were the ones who’d been wicked and simply thirst for more blood. He was not always sure which was which and hardly ever stuck around to find out.

Now though he was frozen in his spot, eyes fixated on burning red irises. The children moved in a graceful, flowing way – not like the ones in scary movies that move in jerky ways. He remembered Misha asking about that, deciding jerking motions would be much scarier. Jared wished Misha could see this then try to declare it not creepy.

Jared was so terrified that he might pass out and that really could happen. He’d never been that vulnerable around the red ones. He didn’t know if they could cause him harm just because he could see them.

“Jared?” A distinctly male voice spoke beside him but it did nothing to stop the forward momentum of the children and he jerked his head up, staring wide eyed at sudden green.

“Jensen. Go! Go! I need to go!” It was enough of a distraction that he managed to push himself up, grabbing Jensen’s hand and pulling.

He didn’t stop until they had crossed the street and were almost at the front of his apartment. Only then did it occur to him what the presence of those children around that man meant.

“There’s a child killer in the park,” He hissed, turning once more wide eyes meeting Jensen’s.

“Excuse me?” Jensen looked appropriately thrown by the comment.

“Call 911. You’ve gotta stop him. He’s gonna do it again!”

“Wait. I can’t just call… how do you know?” Jensen shook his head, but his hand reached into his pocket and he pulled out a cell phone, punching in the three digits and hitting send. He stared at Jared as he pressed the phone against his ear, as if he wasn’t even completely sure why he was doing it.

“Black trench coat. Black ball cap. By the playground. Red little children. Red. Red. All dead,” Jared spun away, teeth digging hard into his bottom lip.

“Uh hi, yeah. I’d like to report an anonymous tip?” Jensen laid a hand on Jared’s arm and Jared turned back to him with watery eyes. “No, that would sort of ruin the anonymous thing. Just… look lady, there’s this guy in the park who’s wearing a black trench coat and a black ball cap. He’s been sitting by the playground for hours just watching the kids and I’m starting to get a little freaked… you will? Okay thanks. Bye.”

Jensen flipped his phone shut and smiled gently at him. “They’re gonna send someone to check him out. Okay Jared?”

“They’re absolutely terrifying,” Jared breathed, pushing open the front door of the apartment building and holding it for Jensen to follow.

Jensen did, although a strange look of confusion crossed his face and Jared wasn’t sure if it was from what he said or the fact that they were entering a building Jensen didn’t know Jared lived in. It had never occurred to him before how unequipped he was for standard communication with another person. Misha had been around so long he normally always got what Jared was trying to say. Introducing a new person into the carefully threaded fabric of his life could get very tricky. But there was something about Jensen that appealed to Jared on a level he was completely unfamiliar with, so if he was going to continue appearing in his world then there was no reason he could find not to weave him into that delicate thread.

“Jared?” Jensen pressed a firm hand against his arm and Jared got the feeling Jensen had asked him a question. “What’s terrifying?”

“Oh the children in the park,” Jared pulled out a set of keys as they approached his apartment door. “Not the normal ones. The dead ones. I’ll never understand how someone could do that. Kill a child I mean. It’s barbaric right?”

Clearing his throat, Jensen followed Jared inside the apartment but hovered nervously just past the doorway, “Look maybe I shouldn’t-“

“I’m not insane,” Jared spun towards him, dropping his headset and iPod on the hall table. “I know. Seems like I am. But I’m not. Honest. Ask Misha.”

“Misha wasn’t really giving much up last time,” Jensen shrugged though his shoulders looked just a fraction less tense. “Why don’t you tell me?”

“I just did,” Jared moved to the kitchen, retrieving a glass and the apple juice from the fridge. He drains the entire contents of the glass, refilling it once more then looking up to meet Jensen’s eyes. “Did you want some too?”

“Apple juice?” Jensen arched an eyebrow, soft smile tugging on the corner of his lip as he took another step into the apartment.

Jared smiled hesitantly, “I was thinking yeah.”

“I’m… okay sure. Why not? I’ll take a walk on the wild side.”

“Apple juice is your wild side?” Jared retrieved another glass and filled it to the brim, holding it out for Jensen. “Here I thought I had issues.”

Jensen laughed, head falling back slightly and something indescribable stirred in Jared’s gut. It hit him like a hand tightened around his heart, realizing how nothing was happening. No colors or ghostly figures, he couldn’t even remember a time when the world around him was at peace like this. Even when Misha was around things shifted and painted colors across the room with high varying emotions. And though he remembered seeing just the faintest hint of red color the air of Jensen’s apartment, his moods occasionally shifted things too so it was most likely him.

For instance now. The apartment shimmered in a faintest pale blue that he’d never seen before. Like looking through the sky at the familiar shapes of his apartment and Jensen, who was not familiar but Jared thought he’d like him to be.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jensen asked, taking a sip from his drink and tucking his free hand into his pocket while looking curiously around.

Fear nipped at the edges of Jared’s thoughts and he tried desperately to fight it back. Fear was one of those emotions that tended to bring out the worst of the crazy in him and Misha wasn’t here to help. He couldn’t loose his control in front of Jensen. The result would surely be the end of any potential friendship and – since Jared only had one other friend in the world – the thought was almost devastating, “I can’t. I can’t tell… it’s too…” The air around him shifted darker.

“Hey it’s okay, no biggie,” Jensen rushed to explain, hand pulling out of his pocket as he took a small step towards Jared. “You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s cool.”

The damage was mostly done now though. Jared’s thoughts spiraled down various paths and suddenly it seemed like the children from the park were closing in on him. Somehow they’d found him, tracked him down and decided to take their revenge out on him.

“Jared? Seriously, it’s okay,” Jensen’s arm fell across his shoulder and Jared jerked back, darting toward the hall table to retrieve his iPod and pulling the headset quickly over his ears.

Jared moved to his bedroom, curling under the blanket, knees pulled to his chest so he could rock back and forth across the mattress. Everything else faded away as he lost himself in the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack, peaceful and happy.

*

Jensen stood awkwardly in the apartment, setting the apple juice down on the counter. The space around him was white – white couch, white walls, white carpet – with random splashes of color – black TV, silver stereo, red painting – but there was nothing about it that screamed one particular person or another. It could be any apartment of any person in any city. Which does nothing to explain the man rocking back and forth on his bed in his room and softly humming a melody Jensen was unfamiliar with.

He was just about to turn and leave, feeling a little perverted for staying here with Jared in his present situation, but he was stopped by the door opening and Misha walking in.

“Jensen?” His eyebrows rose as he pulled the key from the lock. “You brought Jared here right? ‘Cause otherwise I think you’ve got some issues we need to talk about.”

“No, I brought him, or followed him. He was in the park and he just sort of grabbed my hand and pulled me here. Something about a guy killing kids? He made me call 911,” Jensen was aware he was rambling but couldn’t seem to stop. “Anyway we came up here and there was some discussion about issues and I asked him about his and then he just lost it. So now he’s in there. On the bed. Listening to his iPod?”

“It’s a coping mechanism.” Misha shrugged, walking past Jensen to deposit several grocery bags on the counter, unloading contents. Jensen saw a bag of four pears and frowned a little.

“Does he have a pear every morning?”

“There are something Jared needs to have the same way each day. It comes from an unstable childhood. Pears are one of those things,” Misha held up a hand to halt the question Jensen held on the tip of his tongue. “No, I don’t know why it’s pears or any of the other things he has. They’re just things he’s picked up over the years. Beer?”

“Sure,” Jensen wrapped fingers around the offered drink, eyes hovering momentarily on the glass of apple juice. “How long have you known him?”

“Six or so years,” Misha popped open his beer, taking a long pull before furrowing his brow. “Why are you here Jensen?”

Jensen frowned, thumb picking at the label on the cool glass. “I thought we covered this. Park, killer dude, insane discussion, breakdown… sounding familiar?”

“I mean why are you _still_ here? Why didn’t you just leave when Jared…” He gestured vaguely toward Jared’s room, walking out of the kitchen and moving to sit on the couch. He didn’t invite Jensen to join him so he just cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I thought… I didn’t know if he was safe.”

“If not his own home then where?” Misha reclined back, legs crossing at the ankle on the table in front of him. “Jared doesn’t do relationships.”

“Neither do I,” Jensen admitted with a shrug and another long pull from the beer bottle.

“No you don’t understand, Jared’s never… He’s never been with anyone before in any way. That kiss he gave you the other day was the first time I’d ever seen him…” Misha sighed, dropping his legs from the table and standing up. “It’s probably best if you don’t come around a lot. If Jared decides he wants to let you in that’s one thing but let him come to you.”

“Hey it’s not like I was stalking him. I just happened to be in that park,” Jensen set the bottle on the counter and made for the front door. “We’ll leave it to fate or whatever. Just… at least tell him sorry for me. I didn’t mean to make him flip or whatever.”

Jensen didn’t wait for Misha to add anything before heading out into the hallway. He was a little pissed at the way the guy was addressing him, like he tried to rape Jared or something. Really it was Jared’s place to reject him and Misha didn’t really have any right to tell him to shove off. If he was going to get a door slammed in his face it was going to be by Jared.

“The fuck is wrong with me,” He mumbled as he descended the steps, realizing how pathetic it sounded to desire being rejected if it meant more contact with Jared. Then again it wasn’t his fault that Jared was just so interesting and _new_.

And he couldn’t escape that little unnamed thing in him that said Jared was going to be very important.

*

 _Blood tumbled down the walls like the waterfalls Jared used to see in the National Geographic magazines that were always stacked high in his old therapist’s waiting room. The liquid was a dark crimson and with every surge the hall echoed a deep ‘boom, boom.’_

 _It took him several minutes to realize it was a heartbeat._

 _Ahead of him the children from the park swayed gently back and forth, necks slashed, bodies naked. Jared fell to his knees, chanting over and over in his head, ‘it’s only a dream, it’s only a dream.’_

 _Dream or not, it didn’t stop him from emptying the contents of his stomach into the river of blood flowing down the hall._

 _When Jared rose once more his Momma was there, holding Jeff’s hand. It was the only time he saw them – in his dreams – but he liked to think they were always watching out for him._

 _“You found an answer,” His mother beamed and she looked so happy Jared hated to disappoint her but he was no closer to finding an answer for any of the millions of questions constantly plaguing his mind._

 _“No Momma, I didn’t,” Jared shook his head and the blood gushing picked up it’s pace. Jeff started to cry. “What is it? What’s the answer?”_

 _“He is,” His Momma insisted, reaching out toward him._

 _Jared wanted desperately to step into her arms but flames licked up from the floor, consuming them both in a ball of heat._

 _Jared turned from the sight – tears in his eyes – only to find himself face to face with Jensen._

 _“Don’t worry, I’m here,” And he pulled him forward for a full body hug, the blood around them draining out until the room glowed with the faintest baby blue._

*

Jensen couldn’t escape the nagging itch in his gut that he had something important to do. He was trying to hack into the DMV to clear Chris’ driving record – an early birthday present – when his cell phone rang. Typically he’d ignore it when he was mid-project – but the caller ID flashed Chris’ name and the man had the tendency to continue calling and texting if you didn’t answer.

“Busy,” Jensen said by way of greeting, which Chris completely ignored as usual.

“So apparently they don’t make greeting cards that say thanks for being a neglectful dick faced asshole and leaving my mom to run off and marry some bitch whore younger then me and become a barely functioning alcoholic. Happy Father’s day!”

“And we wonder why not,” Jensen chuckled, breaking down the first firewall with a triumphant grin. “Dude, why are you even bothering?”

“Gotta remind him of my existence. I always add a little note that casually mentions the date of my birth and work up his guilt. Like, gonna be the big 3-5 on the 27th, you gonna come for a surprise visit?”

“Does he ever?”

“No, thank god. But he feels mildly guilty for not so I traditionally end up with some monetary satisfaction.”

“Ah the best kind.”

“Again with the getting laid thing Jenny.” Through the line Jensen could hear the automated voice over the store’s speakers announcing a sale on pears.

It made his heart clench and he whispered, “Damn,” before he could stop himself. He’d been doing so well, had gone almost two whole hours without thinking of the man.

“What?” Chris asked, this time Jensen heard several items being dropped unceremoniously into his shopping cart.

“Tough hack. We hangin’ tonight? I need a serious pick me up.”

“Mike got shrooms!” Chris hollered excitedly, and much too loud for a grocery store. “Yeah lady, you heard me. I said shrooms. Like, mushrooms.”

“Jesus Chris, try not to get arrested,” Jensen snorted, breaking down yet another firewall and pulling up his password cracker. “Look I gotta finish this. I’ll be over at nine, ‘kay?”

“Don’t eat! Steve’s makin’ gumbo.”

Jensen laughed and flipped his cell shut as the DMV’s computer system opened before him and he smirked. His record was clean and wasn’t ever something he had to worry about, but since he was in here he figured it’d be nice to check up on his other friends, just to insure no one would be loosing a license any time soon.

*

“I completely freaked him out,” Jared sighed, falling heavily onto the couch beside Misha, glass of apple juice in hand. “Jensen’s gotta think I’m the craziest person ever.”

“Probably,” Misha shrugged and grinned when Jared turned to him with indignant scoff. “I don’t see what the big issue is Jay. You passed out in front of the guy in the middle of the alley and rambled on about him being alone before kissing him. So suddenly shutting down and hiding under the covers of your bed? Not the weirdest thing.”

Jared groaned, head falling back on the cushion. “Shouldn’t even matter.”

“Why does it?” Misha was trying for casual, Jared could tell by the way he kept his eyes carefully trained to the TV, thumb hovering over the remote in his palm. But Jared could see the tense line of his jaw, the way his eyes squinted just slightly at the edges. All these were the tell tale signs of Misha not being happy. Jared didn’t see the signs very often but he could remember them from the few times he had.

“You don’t like him much.” It was a statement because Jared didn’t need to question it and – by the way Misha turned to him with suddenly soft eyes – Misha wasn’t going to deny it.

He shrugged again and dropped the remote on his lap, “I don’t like the idea of what he could do to you. It’s obvious you’ve got some sort of attraction for him. Think about how long it took you to get used to me, Jared. Jensen’s probably going to think you’re crazy when you tell him…”

Jared frowned, taking a long drink of apple juice before clearing his throat and turning again to Misha. “I am crazy.”

“What? No. Don’t say that Jared,” Misha reached out for him, hand falling over his thigh and squeezing.

“But it’s true. Christ Misha, I see dead people. Like fuckin’ Haley Joel Osment. Only I’m not in a fucking movie. And- and it’s just… I am,” Jared groaned, tugging fingers up in his chin length hair. “Why would he even be interested anyway?”

“Okay, one?” Misha snorted, arm falling across Jared’s shoulder and tugging him close. “You’re not Haley Joel Osment. He’s far prettier then you.”

“Shut up.”

Misha continued through a laugh, “And two! Two is, I’m pretty damn sure Jensen likes you. Otherwise he would have left after you went all emo on him yesterday. But he didn’t. Hell, he even apologized when you’re the one who lost it. So that’s something.”

“Do I even like guys?” Jared asked, a faint blush crawling up his cheeks as he listened to Misha’s explanation.

With a loud snort Misha pushed off the couch, heading into the kitchen to pull open the fridge and retrieve a new beer, “Dude, so not a question for me.”

“I guess I’ve never thought about liking anyone. I mean, I like you-”

“So not happening.”

“-But not in a physical way,” Jared glared at him. “I’ve never. Back in the home… well it was always therapists and psychoanalysts and shock-“ Jared cut off with a full body shiver, clearing his throat with another drink of apple juice.

Misha once more sat beside him, closer then normal friends but not close enough to make the cold ache in Jared fade away to something tolerable. Thinking about his life pre-Misha always stirred up that cold.

“Listen to me Jared,” Misha cupped a hand under his chin and turned his face toward him. “You’re not the person they tried to make you in that place. And just because you’re occasionally… eccentric – or you have some pretty eccentric tendencies – doesn’t mean you’re dead below the waist. If you’re attracted to Jensen then maybe you should go for it.”

That familiar bite of fear crawled up again and Jared shuddered almost unconsciously, fingers itching for the iPod waiting in his pocket. “You want me to go away.”

“What? God no Jared,” Misha shook his head, pulling back to turn and meet Jared face to face. “You’re stuck with me you big idiot. Even if you run off with Jensen and do gay shit or whatever. I’m always going to be your friend. I need you around just as much as you need me.”

“You do not.”

“I do. I’m not fighting this. Now shut up, I want to watch Star Wars in peace for once,” Misha fell back on the couch, legs crossing on the coffee table. “Always mumbling away. Ruin the movie.”

Jared settled against Misha’s side with a faint smile, resolutely shoving thoughts of Jensen away to the furthest part of his mind. If there’s one thing Jared’s learned over the course of his life, sometimes it’s just best to lose yourself in a good movie if you want to keep your sanity.

*

“Living in the limelight the universal dream! For those who wish to seem!” Chad sang – or screamed – into the microphone, lights on the TV flashing with each note he hit. Chris tapped drumsticks along the electronic drum set along with the prompts while Steve moved fingers over the digital guitar.

Jensen watched the fake crowd thrashing around on the TV. He’d never got into playing Rock Star but it was one of the guy’s favorite pass times whenever Chad was too drunk to care that he sounded like shit.

Mike covered his ears, falling onto the potato chair beside Jensen. “Someone kill me. Chad’s going to make my brain explode.”

“You and me both,” Jensen agreed, taking a long pull from the joint in his fingers before passing it over to Mike. He exhaled after several moments, watching the smoke filter across his eyes with a vague smile.

His eyes traveled to Chris – who had played this song so many times he didn’t even have to follow the screen prompts. His friend was watching Steve with bright eyes that practically screamed love and Jensen’s smile vanished at the twinge of jealousy that stabbed his gut. Not like he wanted to be with Chris or Steve – fuck no – he just wanted _that_ and he hated that he did. It had never mattered before but now it was almost all he could think about.

“Lonely lover boy?” Mike queried, holding out the joint once more, smoke flowing out between his bright smile which gave him quite the creepy look.

Jensen snorted and took the offered item, bringing it to his lips and sucking hard. He had no intentions of giving any more details about the events that had transpired with Jared earlier. It was bad enough he’d already admitted Jared’s oddity to them, telling them about the 911 call and the consequent events would be too much.

“Share the goods!” Chris hollered, shutting the game down and falling down onto the couch beside Jensen, Steve joining him.

“Goooodsss,” Chad moaned, stumbling forward to snatch the joint from Jensen’s hands before Chris could. “Thought there was shrooms!”

“I’ll get them!” Mike cheered happily, hopping out of the room.

Jensen laughed at Chad’s swaying form, dipping dangerously close to falling into the laps of Steve and Chris. The boys groaned and pulled him down on the other side of Steve, snatching the joint back before he could drop it. Still laughing Jensen glanced over at the TV where the news was now showing.

Video was playing of a man in a black trench coat being led to a cop car in handcuffs. His eyes widened and he held up a hand, “Shut up fuckers I want to hear this.”

The room quieted and the reporter’s voice drifted over them.

 _”There were an estimated thirteen bodies, all assumed to be children, found buried in the backyard of Leonard Willits one story house. Police were led to the man early this afternoon from an anonymous tip. We spoke with Police Chief David Johnson just moments ago during a press conference.”_ The screen flashed from the blond reporter to the Police Chief standing behind a dark podium, rows of microphones attached to the front.

 _“It appears Leonard Willits is indeed responsible for the series of missing children scattered throughout the state over the past month. We will not be releasing the names of the children at this time, and we urge you to give the grieving families space in this difficult time. Most details will be provided as we see fit.”_

Once more the screen switched back to the reporter. _“The anonymous tip came in to the 911 center shortly after one o’clock. Leonard Willits had been taken in originally for public indecency, and it was upon further searching that the police located several Polaroid pictures he carried that led them to investigating his house. We’ll have more on the story as it develops.”_

“Dude, the guy was naked in the park?” Chad asked, turning to them with wide eyes.

“He had a trench coat-“ Jensen cut himself off, shaking his head. “Wait, _that’s_ what you got from that story?”

“God you’re sick Chad! The fucker slaughtered thirteen little kids!” Chris hissed, reaching past Steve to slap the back of Chad’s head.

“Ow. Ass,” Chad scowled, rubbing at the sore spot. “I know that. God I’m not sick! I just… it just stood out cause like, those poor kids at the park. And how did you know he was wearing a trench coat Jensen?”

They all turned to him and Jensen weighed his options. His hands were shaking, mind flashing scenes of Jared and earlier. _’There’s a child killer in the park’_

“Jensen?” Chris laid a hand over his arm, an unusual amount of worry clouding his eyes. “Your skin is cold. You’re shaking.”

“It’s… I was at that park, on the way to the coffee shop,” Jensen settled on saying, wetting his lips with a long pull from the beer bottle. “I saw that guy. In the playground. I walked right by him.”

“Holy shit,” Steve whispered.

“Fucking coincidence from hell,” Chad added.

“Got the shrooms!” Mike bounced into the room, waving a small plastic bag in triumph. “Let’s get fucked up queers!”

“I am _not_!” Chad squeaked and everyone turned to him. He shrunk back into his seat and scowled, crossing arms over his chest. “Well, I’m not.”

“Right,” Chris laughed before turning back to Jensen. “You sure you’re okay dude?”

“Yeah, let’s just… not think about it. They caught him right? Which is really good,” Jensen nodded, pushing out of the chair to join Mike at the counter. “I really need to get fucked up and just not think for awhile.”

Mike held up the small rubbery plant. “I’ve got just what you need. Take one, chew it up and swallow it all.”

Jensen did just that and settled back on the chair to enjoy the ride.

*

The pencil beneath his fingers moved in a graceful arc and Jared watched the face of Jensen slowly come into view with each sketch and drag. He drew without thinking, sometimes without even being aware, and very often he found himself surprised at the outcome. This time he wasn’t really that surprised because Jensen had been the main thing on his mind since meeting him.

Someone knocked on the door and he looked up, startled. There was a sign outside their building that said solicitors were not allowed, which meant whoever was knocking most likely had a real reason to. Jared didn’t do very well with random new people, never knowing what to expect and sometimes being caught way off guard. Plus Misha wasn’t home to facilitate.

Slowly he stood and walked towards it, twirling the pencil in his fingers. “Hello? Who is it?” He called, hoping the person could hear through the thick wood.

“It’s Jensen.”

Heat sparked up in Jared and he hurried to turn the deadbolt and pull open the door, “Hey.”

“How did you do that?” Jensen pushed past Jared into the apartment, spinning around to face him with arms raised.

Jared slowly shut the door, turning the lock again and frowning softly. “How did I do what? Open the door?”

A brief smile flushed across Jensen’s face before he abruptly shook his head, “I take it you didn’t watch the news last night.”

“Horrible news,” Jared shook his head. They learned pretty quickly that the news and Jared didn’t work well. He couldn’t see _them_ through the TV or anything, but any report on a death of any nature left him dreaming about it for weeks. And his dreams rarely skimped on the details. “Can’t watch.”

“Right,” Jensen nodded, obviously loosing some of the steam that had propelled him just moments before. “So then you don’t know.”

“About?” Jared moved towards the kitchen, retrieving his usual glass and the apple juice from the fridge. “Apple juice?”

Another brief smile, this one lasting just a little longer, “No, thank you. Wouldn’t happen to have any coke would you?”

“Misha drinks Mountain Dew,” Jared reached back into the fridge, putting away his apple juice and grabbing a can. Jensen reached out for it, wrapping long boney fingers around the cool can. Jared inhaled sharply when their fingers brushed for just a fraction of a second. The air around them once more took on the faint tinge of sky.

“Thanks,” Jensen said softly, sliding a finger under the pop tab and pulling up. “Anyway. The guy, from yesterday in the park.”

Jared shivered at the memory of the children bearing down on him, “What about him?”

“They arrested him at the park. Turns out he was naked under that trench coat,” Jensen cleared his throat as though he was uncomfortable, taking a long drink from the Mountain Dew before going on. “I guess he had some pictures in his coat or something. Anyways, they went to his house and found… they found bodies.”

“Oh. The children,” Jared’s lower lip trembled. “Those poor, poor children. Red, so red. Maybe this will help them.”

Jensen blinked several times, took a deep breath and sighed, “Can you… look I don’t want to offend you, or whatever happened yesterday. But can you tell me how you knew? No one knew, not his neighbors or coworkers or even his family. No one knew… but you did somehow.”

That familiar fear swam up in him, blue shifted unsteadily, “I…”

“Look Jared,” Jensen took a quick step forward, hand reaching out and hovering in midair. “Whatever it is, and I know it’s gotta be big, but whatever it is. I don’t care. You can tell me. I promise not to freak out, trust me, I’ve seen some crazy shit.”

“Not like this,” Jared shook his head and bit his lip. The major part of him, the one that kept him functioning during those twelve years in the orphanage, screamed at him to hide away in his room. Or to call Misha and tell him to come home and explain everything to Jensen because he just couldn’t do it.

Then Jensen smiled softly, just the corners of his lips lifting up, and a hand reached out to stretch across the kitchen counter separating them and press softly against his arm. Jared stared at it for a long time before walking around the counter, circling Jensen’s wrist with his fingers and pulling him to the couch to sit.

“My family died when I was six. My father killed them,” Jared began in a hushed tone, ignoring Jensen’s sharp inhale. “I saw them. My momma and brother. Saw them after they’d died. Like ghosts but not. They’re not solid and they’re not invisible. They’re both I guess. You couldn’t touch them but they’re always there.”

“Your family?” Jensen blinked several times but he didn’t sound scared yet, so Jared continued.

“I only see my family in dreams. Everyone else though. Everyone’s got them you know? I figure it’s just the ones who died in a bad way, or not natural. Like Misha’s mom. But that’s the thing, everyone knows someone who died in an unusual way. Sometimes it’s worse. The red ones. The black ones. They’re worse.”

“I don’t understand,” Jensen shook his head and Jared exhaled in a defeated whoosh. “No, I mean, I understand what you’re trying to say, but I don’t understand the color thing.”

“Mostly the black ones are evil. They’re not always around and sometimes they’re red and not black. Normally the red ones are angry. Like the children. Normally the red ones were murdered. But I’m not Haley Joel Osment.”

Jensen chuckled in surprise, “No, I wasn’t going to say you were. Though you do see dead people.”

“They know they’re dead,” Jared offered, worrying his lower lip again and twisting his fingers together. “They know and they’re mad. And I don’t know if they could hurt me but they scare me. And no one believed me, growing up they just wanted to lock me away. No one _believed_.”

“So you saw those children? That he killed? Were they red?” Jensen’s voice was bright with curiosity and the heavy tension weighing down the pit of Jared’s stomach slowly eased.

“Yes, they were. And bloody. Very terrifying.”

“Why do you think you…? I mean, you say it started with your family, but what made you see them?” Jensen curled their fingers together.

Jared stared down at their hands curiously. His heart had never kick started with a simple touch the way it did now. Jensen’s flesh against his was curiously soft and warm, “I… I don’t know how it began really. It just did… I don’t know what causes it and I can’t make it go away. There’s only one person who’s never had one…”

They were quiet for a long while, hands still linked together. Finally Jensen cleared his throat, “That’s me?”

“Yeah… even Misha had one,” Jared nodded, not offering any details. It seemed too personal to confide the details of Misha’s mother’s death to Jensen.

“I’ve known people who died though,” Jensen added. “My grandparents were in a plane crash when I was twelve. I’d say that’s pretty unusual.”

Jared’s eyes widened and he pulled back, frowning softly. “Well that doesn’t make any sense. We’re you close?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded, brow furrowing. “I saw them board the plane… I mean… that just doesn’t…”

“You’re my answer,” Jared whispered, eyes widening even more. “My Momma. She said…”

“Your Momma?” Jensen’s looked understandably confused.

Jared’s head spun trying to process the truth in Jensen’s words and the things his mother had said in his dream. He could feel that queasy uneasiness stir up in him and his eyes slide closed from the weight of it all.

*

Misha arrived home to find Jensen reclined on the couch, legs crossed on the coffee table in front of him, thumb hovering over the up button on the remote control. Jared’s head was resting in his lap, hair falling over closed eyes. “Okay,” He said softly, pulling the key from the lock and shutting the door behind him. “Admittedly unexpected.”

Jensen sighed and muted the TV, “We were discussing things and he just sort of passed out.”

“Can you give me a little more detail than that?” Misha asked, kicking off his shoes and dropping onto the recliner that sat kitty corner from the couch.

Another sigh and Jensen explained the entire conversation, needing to back track a little to explain the news report he’d seen the night before. Apparently Misha had been just as unaware of the man’s arrest.

“So he mentioned something his mother had said and then just sort of went to sleep?” Misha raised an eyebrow, eyeing Jared’s sleeping form. “Must have been too much for him to sort through at the moment. It’s another coping mechanism.”

“Right,” Jensen nodded as if that all made sense. It really didn’t, because just going to sleep or hiding away with music was not a logical coping mechanism to have and there was no way Jared was going to make it through life if that’s what he did whenever things got a little tough. “And he does this, often?”

“More and more recently,” Misha sighed again and pushed up and out of the chair, walking over to lay a hand gently on Jared’s shoulder and squeeze. “Jay, let’s get you to bed.”

Jared rose without hesitation – eyes still mostly closed – and allowed Misha to lead him to his room. Jensen watched from his place on the couch, hand resting over the spot on his lap that was still warm from Jared’s head.

*

 _The field around him was bright and seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Grass rose just below his knees in every direction, as far as he could see. Somewhere in his gut he felt the vaguest familiarity for the land, as if maybe he’d passed through it once, a lifetime ago._

 _This was so unlike all his other dreams that he wasn’t completely certain it was a dream. But that led to the question of how he might have gotten here and to that there seems to be no logical answer._

 _In the distance he could make out just the faintest rumbling of a truck, steadily growing louder as it drew closer. Jared watched it with a curious tilt of his head. His eyes moved up towards the sky and the clouds formed the word, ‘watch.’_

 _Once more he looked back to the truck. Now it was clearly visible, rusted green and traveling at a slow, bumpy pace. It pulled to a stop less then ten feet in front of him and the door opened._

 _The man who stepped out was just as unfamiliar as the field, but there was still the vague familiarity as if he should know this man or would know him soon._

 _Jared was certain he was not visible as the man looked right past him, walking to the back of his truck and opening the tailgate. Jared moved curiously to get a look at what the man was grunting to pull out. He jumped back in surprise when the still writhing body of a man with long, dark hair – tied at the ankles and wrists, blindfolded – fell out the back of the truck and onto the ground._

 _“Who the fuck are you?!” The bound man hollered, hair matting against the grass._

 _“Shut up you queer.”_

 _Jared sucked in a breath as the man from the truck kicked the other hard in the stomach repeatedly until Jared could see blood spray along the green. He wanted to turn and run and he didn’t understand why he was dreaming this. Neither of these men seemed dead – yet – and there was nothing unusual about them. Sadly the sight before him happened too frequently in the world for it to be classified as ‘unusual.’_

 _“I’m gonna kill you,” The man hissed, spitting on the broken, bleeding face on the ground. “And no one’s gonna know. No one’s gonna stop me.”_

 _Jared stepped forward, arm outstretched. He wanted to help the man, pull him away and save him from this horrible fate, but things around him were already fading as the dream passed._

 _“Wait!” He yelled up to the clouds. “Why show me this? Why can’t I help him? It’s not right!”_

Jared sat up in bed, sweat dripping down his body.

Misha opened the door, flipping the light on, “Is everything okay? Nightmare?”

“I think…” He swallowed thickly, running the back of his hand along his forehead to clear away the sweat dripping there. “I think someone’s going to die.”

“Okay…” Misha frowned, stepping into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. “Do you know this person?”

“No but I think I’m supposed too. Misha… I think I’m supposed to save this person,” Jared’s heart leapt in his chest and he knew without a doubt that he was right. It was the reason he’d seen the field and the man in the green truck, he was supposed to stop them.


	3. Chapter 3

“Tada!” Jensen slid the folded sheet of paper across the table. “Happy mother fuckin’ birthday!”

Chris grinned excitedly. He wasn’t one of those people who said things like, ‘oh you didn’t have to get me anything’ or ‘you shouldn’t have!’ He was more likely to say ‘about god damn time! This better be good.’ It was impossibly hard to shop for Chris. Steve tended to be the only one to get a gift that really surprised him – everyone else just asked what he wanted and got exactly that to be safe.

Jensen had spent the last six months – since the Christmas fiasco with the Best Buy gift card – trying to come up with the perfect gift. Watching Chris’ expression now as he realized what he was looking at was worth every minute.

“This is my-“

“Driving record.”

“And you-“

“Wiped it clean,” A bright smirk covered Jensen’s features and he took a triumphant swig from his coffee. “Official and everything. All your points are back and that little suspicion from two years ago never happened.”

“Hot damn,” Chris exhaled. “How the fuck did you figure out how to do this?”

“I’m the best,” Jensen shrugged casually. “What did you expect? Another gift card?”

“I should fucking hope not but this… it rivals Steve’s gift,” Chris continued to stare down at the page in disbelief.

“What did Steve get you?”

“Not sure yet but damn…” Another stunned exhale before he lifted his arm to check the watch on his wrist. “Shit, I’m gonna be late. Thank you Jensen.”

Jensen grinned, rising from the table with Chris, “No problem. See ya tonight.”

In a rare moment, Chris threw his arms around Jensen in a tight hug. It wasn’t as if they’d never hugged before – the group tended towards the touchy, feely – but it hardly ever meant anything. This hug spoke of a deep rooted love shared between the friends that Jensen was eternally grateful for.

When the stepped out of the coffee shop, Chris bumped into a man walking past accidentally, “Sorry dude.” He apologized before turning to head down the sidewalk, calling out a goodbye to Jensen.

Jensen walked the opposite direction, deciding to hit up the local bookstore before heading home.

Life for Jensen was pretty simplistic, if only outrageously illegal. At eighteen he’d been offered a full ride scholarship to MIT where he’d honed and perfected all his computer skills. The first few years after college he’d worked for IBM, but it didn’t take long for the desk job to start getting to him.

That was around the time Jensen learned there was a lot of money to be made by knowing the right systems to crack. Technically, Jensen liked to consider his work a type of borrowing without the intent to give back. Mostly it was for the common good and he definitely never hurt anyone. Directly anyways. His family still assumed he worked for IBM so they never questioned his nice things and occasionally pricey gifts.

Half way to the book store, Jensen spotted Jared walking with his hands buried deep in his jean pockets, eyes fixated on the cement in front of him. He hadn’t seen the man in four days, since he’d passed out in his lap, but every time the news reported an update on Leonard Willits he thought of him.

Jensen jogged across the street and reached out to tap Jared’s shoulder – hoping he didn’t’ scare him. Jared looked up – clearly surprised – then smiled brightly, “Jensen!” and pulled down his headset.

“Hey, how are you?” Jensen asked, tucking his hands in his pockets, suddenly feeling very awkward. It sucked to be in that place where they kind of knew each other but really didn’t at all. Jensen was a little at a loss for how to move to the next step or if that was even something Jared wanted.

“I’m looking for a green truck,” Jared offered, glancing around the street as if the green truck was suddenly going to appear.

Jensen couldn’t help glancing around too, “Okay… what for?”

“That man’s going to kill someone.”

Jensen wondered if the topic of death was going to be a constant part of their conversations, as it had been so far. “You know this for a fact?”

“Not entirely,” Jared shook his head and frowned. His brows furrowed together as he once more surveyed the street. “But I dreamed it. So it’s a real possibility.”

“And your dreams often come true?”

“Well…” Jared looked thoughtful and a small smile tugged at his lips. “Maybe you’re right. My dreams do tend to be a little out there. I dream of my family and they’ve been dead for twenty years.”

Jensen eyed the elderly couple walking past; they were giving them both a wide eyed look at Jared’s comment. Almost out of reflex, he stepped forward and laid a hand protectively against Jared’s arm, “So maybe there’s no killer in a green truck driving around?” At Jared’s hopeful glance he continued, “Want to go to the bookstore with me?”

“Okay…” Jared nodded, looking once more down the street before following Jensen down the sidewalk. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, bookstore,” Jensen gestured towards the direction they were walking with a soft smile. Jared rolled his eyes and Jensen laughed. “Before I ran into you I was getting some coffee with my best friend. It’s his birthday.”

Jared reached down to casually link their fingers, staring at the sidewalk as he asked, “What did you get him?”

Jensen’s skin tingled where their hands met and he watched the point where their flesh met for a few steps before clearing his throat, “I wiped his DMV record.” Perhaps it was a testament to just how comfortable he felt with Jared, but it wasn’t until after the words had slipped from his lips that he realized his mistake. Jared had no idea what Jensen did in the privacy of his own home and it wasn’t something he shared often. You never knew who was going to have a real problem with the whole hacking business.

“How did you manage that?” Jared asked curiously. There was nothing in his voice to suggest anything else. He squeezed Jensen’s fingers as if he sensed the unease and wanted to assure him it was alright.

Whatever the message was, Jensen couldn’t ignore the swell of warmth that accompanied that squeeze. “I hacked their systems. Didn’t I mention that? That I tend to dabble in the hacking business more often then not?”

“Must have slipped my mind,” Jared said offhandedly and laughed. “Don’t feel obligated to give details. I can hardly handle the cable’s remote.”

Jensen laughed as well, tugging on Jared’s arm to pull him tight against his side, “I always figured I’d get a boyfriend who’s a complete technological noob.” The word is out before he even realized it was forming on his tongue and there wasn’t anything he could do but stop and stare wide eyed at his shoes.

“Huh,” Jared only hesitated a moment before tugging Jensen’s arm playfully. “Never had a boyfriend before.”

“Me either,” He admitted smiling brightly up at Jared and just the slightest touch of his forehead on his shoulder.

*

Misha watched Jared and Jensen head into the apartment building from across the street. They were an oddly fitting couple, almost as if they were designed to be together. A faint smile crossed his lips he turned away from the building, deciding it was probably a good time to go get some coffee and take a leisurely stroll through the park.

For the most part Misha was very secure in his friendship with Jared. He knew the man didn’t make friends very easily and, even if he developed a relationship with Jensen, he’d still need Misha around. After all, you always needed someone to complain to about a relationship’s not so pleasant parts. Plus, Jared dating someone would lead to the possibility of Misha being able to have an actual relationship, which he hadn’t had in six years, so it was worth the little ache in his stomach at the thought of not being Jared’s number one anymore.

*

“O Oysters, said the Carpenter, ‘You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?' But answer came there none -- And this was scarcely odd, because they'd eaten every one!”

“Wow,” Jensen smirked up at him. “And to think I didn’t believe you when you said you knew the entire poem.”

“Lewis Carroll is my idol,” Jared laughed happily, spinning Jensen to face him as they stopped in front of his apartment door. “Is that weird?”

“Adrian Lamo is my idol so it’s just about as weird I suppose,” Jensen shrugged, linking their left hands and swaying them gently back and forth.

Jared furrowed his brow, lips pursed, “Who’s Adrian Lamo?”

“Oh he’s this incredible hacker! He cracked into Yahoo and Microsoft and the New York Times. He got caught though, had to pay a shit load of money and go the jail, but some of the shit he did was fuckin’ incredible,” Jensen grinned as Jared laughed.

They stood together like this for several minutes, smiling at each other, hands clasped together between them. “Do you…” Jared began, voice cracking before he cleared his throat. “Do you wanna come in?”

Jensen wet his lips, eyes darting between Jared’s eyes and lips, “I uh, I really should be getting back home. I’ve got some work I need to get done.”

“Worried about getting fired?” Jared grinned, tilting forward – their lips hovering dangerously close together.

“Something like that,” Jensen whispered into the air between them, eyes fixed purposefully on Jared’s lips.

Silence fell between them for several long moments before they both moved forward to close the gap. This time Jared’s lips were wet and warm against his, firm press of silk sliding open for his tongue to press push through and explore. The inside of Jared’s mouth tasted like pears and apple juice, and he was not surprised at all.

He reached up to wrap his arms around Jared’s back but the man stepped back before he could get that far, hands sliding down his arms, “I guess you’ve got to be going?”

Jensen swallowed thickly, clearing his throat as he stepped back, “Right. Got work. Stuff. Work stuff. Hey, do you maybe want to go get dinner Friday night?” He hurried the question, the words coming out in a blur.

Jared stared at him with wide eyes for a minute then smiled so wide that Jensen took a subconscious step back in awe, “Yeah. Dinner would be awesome. Friday.”

“Seven?”

“Seven.”

“I’ll see you then,” Jensen leaned forward for a final press of lips. With a parting smile he turned from Jared and headed down the hall. He could feel Jared’s eyes on him as he descended the steps but resisted the urge to turn around. Knowing his luck he’d probably trip over his shoes and wind up falling down the stairs all because Jared’s smile made his mind shut down.

*

 _Jared woke in the field and his stomach clenched. Laying on his back he watched the clouds in the sky shift through images he couldn’t place. Something was off about the coloring but he couldn’t put his finger on it._

 _“Why are you lying down?” Jeff appeared above him, looking down with a curious smile._

 _“I know this place,” Jared sat up, looking around for the green truck he was sure was coming. “I’ve been here before.”_

 _“Why is the sky red? Did you turn the sky red?” Jeff looked up with wide, scared eyes. Jared looked up and it made sense. Yes, the sky was red. Wasn’t it always?_

 _A rumbling in the distance pulled his eyes back down to the field. He could see the truck approaching and he stepped in front of Jeff, “I don’t think the sky is supposed to be red but maybe here it is.”_

 _“That’s a bad man,” Jeff whispered from behind his legs, tiny fist curling into his jeans._

 _Jared’s breath hitched as the man parked the truck and climbed out the driver’s side, “Why am I seeing this Jeff? Is this going to happen?”_

 _“Maybe. I suppose anything can happen, right?” Jeff’s voice quivered as the man – who Jared realized had the dirtiest blond hair he’d ever seen – pulled the bound dark haired man from the truck’s bed, “Oh Jared…will you let the sky turn red?”_

 _“But what can I do?” Jared cried as the man on the ground spit blood onto bright green grass. “How can I change this? I don’t even know him!”_

 _“There’s an answer,” Jeff suggested, plucking a handful of grass and laying it across his legs. He continued this over and over until his jeans were covered and the grass kept growing back. “You know your answer.”_

 _“Jensen?” Jared suggested, turning away from the gruesome sight by the truck._

 _“Find the boy, woo the boy, maybe you’ll smile one day,” Jeff sang, pushing up from the ground and skipping away until he faded into the red sky on the horizon._

 _Jared turned back toward the truck and the man on the ground looked up at him with pale, lifeless eyes._

*

Jared sat up in bed panting, tears streaming down his cheeks. The dream wasn’t so excusable this time, no matter what Jensen might think. To have it once could be written off as coincidence, twice meant something and Jared had to face the facts.

“Jay?” Misha rubbed his eyes as he stumbled across the room’s threshold, falling across Jared’s bed. “Same dream again?”

“Jeff was there,” Jared turned into Misha’s body, snuggling against his side when his friend lifted his arm to allow him in. With a soft sigh he nuzzled his forehead against Misha’s shoulder. “The sky was red.”

“Red sky? I thought only the spirits were red,” Misha soothed his hand through Jared’s hair.

This was one of the reasons Jared loved having Misha around so much. He didn’t have to explain things, his friend knew him and all his little quirks, “Me too. Maybe the sky is evil?” He snickered slightly at this, allowing the fear to ebb away slowly with Misha’s warmth.

“Oh evil sky, those are the kinds you have to look out for,” He chuckled, yawning. “So we’ll talk about it in the morning?”

“Yeah… Misha?” Jared’s eyes drifted close as he mumbled against his friend’s shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“Stay?”

“Of course,” Misha shifted further under the covers, tightening his arm around Jared’s thin frame.

*

His fingers ached from three hours of constant typing, but he couldn’t stop now. The idea for the program had seemed so ingenuous he honestly couldn’t believe no one had thought of it before. Fifteen ghost systems that could easily be mistaken as the real deal that would crash any server trying to crack into them. It was in depth enough to fool the best hacker out there and something Jensen could pitch to a variety of companies for the highest bid. If he could round out the last little details the money it would provide would mean a whole new life for Jensen.

Or at least give him the ability to take some serious time off and fall under the radar. The nagging worry in his stomach had been growing over the past few weeks and he couldn’t stop the surge of paranoia. Good hackers did great things but ultimately got caught. _Great_ hackers did amazing things and got away with it. Jensen fully intended to be a great hacker.

He was halfway through the last portions of code – teeth biting hard enough into his lower lip to leave imprints – when he sensed the presence of someone else. A cold chill ran up his spine and the little hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He was not certain how someone got through his front door without him knowing but he’d be the first to admit the world tended to fade when he was caught up in his work.

Reaching out, his fingers curled around the heavy paper weight in the shape of a marijuana leaf Mike had given him last Christmas. It wouldn’t do much good against someone with a gun but if they only had a knife, it wouldn’t give him a fighting chance.

“I know you’re there,” He hissed in the most menacing voice he could muster, trying to push the fear to the furthest recesses of his mind. “Look, you can leave now and I won’t even turn around. No one has to know you were even here.”

It didn’t surprise him too much when the answer was nothing but silence. His cell phone was sitting at the end of the desk. If he reached out for it the intruder would definitely see and Jensen wasn’t going to put his life in more risk. There was really no choice but to turn around and face this thing head on.

Jensen was anything but prepared for the sight that met his eyes when his chair swiveled a quick 180.

Blood seeped from the wall like a bubbling pool, dripping down across the pale white of his apartment. The floor boards where cracked and popping up with loud splintering. Something dark and tar like oozed down from the ceiling.

A man stood amidst the blood and tar, black eyes so wide Jensen wasn’t completely sure if they were eyes or just empty sockets, focused directly towards him. The man’s flesh bubbled, expanding and popping to reveal bits of muscle and the bone beneath.

Bile churned in Jensen’s stomach as he gazed with horrified fixation, “Who… who…” He fumbled over the question, saliva drying from his mouth as heat built steadily up around him.

His throat began to constrict and he clawed up at it, eyes growing impossibly larger. The man took slow, precise steps forward, nearly all the flesh had melted and boiled off his body now. His face broke into a wide, wicked grin that was all teeth and fractured muscle. One hand reached up, fingers made only of bone outstretched toward him.

“It’s too late for you.”

The words pressed like a weight against his chest and Jensen jerked up against it. The lack of oxygen was blurring his vision, churning his stomach and the last thing he really saw before he passed out was Jared’s face in the tar on the ceiling.

*

“I’m telling you guys. It was the fuckin’ craziest dream ever,” Jensen dropped his beer bottle down on the table and shook his head. He’d already downed five beers tonight and the nerves were just beginning to fade. At least his hand had stopped shaking.

“So, the dude’s skin was melting off like cheese?” Tom made a face and sipped his own beer thoughtfully. “Are you sure you didn’t pocket some of Mike’s shrooms?”

The guys around the table laughed and Mike clapped Jensen on the back, “Fess up Ackles, I wouldn’t hold you responsible because your nasty trip totally entertained me.”

“I didn’t steal your shrooms. And I’m not making this shit up, my mind is not that fucked up. I am not you Mike,” Jensen protested, grabbing Mike’s beer and finishing it in one long pull.

“Fuck you,” Mike said good naturedly.

Chad cleared his throat, picking at the wrapper on the beer bottle clasped between his fingers, “I heard him scream. It had to be one fucked up nightmare.”

Jensen thought back to three hours ago when he’d woken up on the couch screaming. Chad was banging on his door and it took several long moments to reassure himself that it had all been some horribly fucked up nightmare. After he’d reassured Chad he wasn’t being robbed or raped – both of which Chad had been intending to rescue Jensen from with the baseball bat he clutched in his fists – he checked that his program was finished. It was, and surprisingly was correct – then insisted they go get shit faced drunk.

The image of Jared’s pale face standing out in stark contrast to the tar made the beer churn uncomfortably inside him, “I gotta make a call.” He excused himself with the wave of a hand before heading out of the bar and out into the quiet of the night.

After he’d left Jared’s the day before – once more forgetting to ask for a phone number – he’d done some computer questing until he’d located one Misha. Misha Collins. Apparently it wasn’t a very common name, at least not locally.

Now he selected the name in his address book and hit send, bringing the phone up to his ear and praying Jared was home. He just needed to reassure himself, even if it was ridiculous to think Jared would be sucked into a pit of tar on his ceiling.

“House of pain! Jared speaking!” Jared’s laughter filled the device and Jensen couldn’t resist his own chuckle.

“Well I was looking for the house of sexy but I suppose this will do.”

There was a beat of silence in which Jared’s laughter died and Jensen could vaguely make out Misha’s distant chuckle, “Jensen?”

“Yeah, do I even want to know what the whole house of pain thing is about?” Jensen learned against the cold brick wall, crossing his legs at the ankles.

An odd choking noise filled the line for a minute before Jared responded, “Misha was. And then there was wrestling. And he hit my… well see it was. It’s all Misha’s fault.”

“Something tells me that’s not the first time you’ve said that,” Jensen laughed, relief finally flooding through him as the tension wracking his shoulders faded away. “God it’s good to hear your voice.”

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked quickly as if he could hear the tension melting away in Jensen’s voice. Misha’s laughter disappeared from the background and Jensen could hear the quiet snip of a door closing.

“I had the craziest dream,” He shook his head, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. Everything still felt too real and raw to him but he felt the undeniable urge to describe it all to Jared, knowing he’d be the one person to not accuse him of taking some illegal substance.

He was right. After finishing all the gory details Jensen felt a thousand times better, like maybe he could actually sleep that night without fear of the dream repeating. Only Jared didn’t respond and he worried he may have crossed the line into a crazy that even Jared wasn’t ready to handle.

“Oh god, you think I’m totally fucked up right? I swear I’m not on anything,” Jensen sighed and pushed up off the wall. “Well not tonight anyway.” He added as an afterthought because he really didn’t want to lie to Jared.

“Did the man have brown hair?”

Jensen blinked with a frown, “Well um, yeah? I guess. I mean, I wasn’t really looking at his hair. The whole blood on the walls, skin melting off sort of held my attention.”

“That was my dad,” Jared whispered into the static of the line.

Another blink and his frown deepened, “What? But your dad…”

“He’s dead, yeah I know,” Jared’s voice took on a vague, distant note. “Why would he come after you? He knows. They’ve said and he knows. You could be in danger. Jensen. Jensen you could be in danger!” The words escalated as he spoke until Jensen could hear the door opening in the background and Misha’s concerned question.

They spoke rapidly to each other, words seemingly so random Jensen couldn’t interpret their meaning.

“Jared?”

“No. It’s him. He’s come to take more.”

“More? Jensen?”

“Everything important. Like you.”

“He didn’t though.”

“Not you. We stopped him.”

“And we will.”

“But Jensen.”

“Jared? Give me the phone.”

“He’s been there. Blood and tar.”

“Like before?”

“Like then. God Misha.”

“Phone, Jared.” Things muffled for a moment before Misha came on the line, “Jensen? Are you alright?”

“Uh yeah, it was just a dream,” Jensen insisted, only now his gut was churning uncomfortably and he continued moving in a circle, because that paranoia from earlier was pressing against his lungs so the words sounded more breathy then normal.

Misha stepped out of Jared’s room, Jared’s ramblings fading into the distance, “Look Jensen, I know what you saw. I’ve seen him too. Just once. Nothing bad happened obviously and I can’t really explain it, besides saying it’s the fucking creepiest thing ever. I don’t… I don’t think he can do anything though, I mean, the things Jared sees have never hurt him so…”

“You’ve seen him?” Jensen repeated. It was the only thing he could really take away from Misha’s speech, everything else was just too much to try and process. Of course he knew what Jared had told him, what he saw, but hearing Misha bring it up really hit it home. He’d just sort of thought Jared was a touch eccentric, and Jensen liked to think of himself as a pretty open minded guy so if Jared insisted he saw ghost people or whatever that was fine. Plus there was the Leonard thing which obviously meant something. But he’d never really considered what it _meant_.

“Jensen? Are you okay?” Misha asked softly and with the smallest touch of annoyance, like it wasn’t the first time he’d said his name.

Jensen flushed and shifted the phone to his other ear, “Yes. No. God I don’t know. What the fuck is this Misha? His skin melted in front of my eyes. His _skin_. That shit is going to stick with me. Is this what it’s like around him?”

“You mean does blood often run down the walls and tar drip from the ceilings? Like I said, I’ve only seen it once. But Jared sees this stuff a lot, he dreams it. This is the kind of world Jared has to live in and if you want to be part of it you’re gonna have to be there to support him. Even if it includes fucked up dreams that will stick with you. Trust me, I haven’t forgotten the image.”

Jensen’s defenses flared and he scowled, “Enough with the shit Misha. This is all new to me okay? You’ve had six years to adjust; I’ve had about a week so give me a fucking break.” Misha’s heavy sigh fell across the line and they both stood in the silence that followed for a long few minutes. “Look, I care for Jared. More then I probably should considering how little I know him. I want to be involved in his life, I want to date him. I’m just not entirely sure-“

“Don’t say you can’t handle him,” Misha cut him off, anger flaring sharp and quick. “Jared’s not something you _handle_. He’s not an issue, or a problem. He just is and you take him that way, with everything it includes.”

“Calm the fuck down Misha,” Jensen whispered, voice lacking the heat it should probably have considering the words they were exchanging. “I wasn’t going to say anything about handling or whatever.”

“What were you going to say then?”

Jensen sighed, defeated, “I need time. I need you to not freak at me when I’m not 100% on how to deal with what’s going on. Jared obviously has that patience-“

“Jared doesn’t know better.”

“- _and you_ need to give me that too. Don’t you want him to be happy?” Jensen continued on before Misha could add more. “Okay yes, I know you do. But- _Damnit!_ You did this on purpose didn’t you! To get my mind off the whole creepy as fuck thing!”

Misha’s chuckle was low and amused and Jensen sighed in exasperation, “Not really but it worked right?”

“Let me talk to Jared,” Jensen rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance, walking around the back of the building when a large group of people stepped outside to light up cigarettes.

“I’m not sure…”

Misha’s voice drifted further away as a cold chill worked its way down his spine and the world darkened around the edge of his vision. Jensen could feel the hair on his arm stand up. “Shit. Not again,” He gasped, falling to his knees as the wall in front of him cracked and bled.

Heat encased him, weighing heavily against his body as he struggled for oxygen. Tar fell from the sky – burning his skin – a hiss with each drop. Jensen screamed or he thought he did, but everything was fuzzy and he wasn’t sure any noise was leaving his throat. Everything in him screamed _too soon, too soon_ ; Jensen wasn’t ready to die though he couldn’t escape the logic that he was going too.

*

Chris rounded the corner of the bar, Steve hanging onto his hand and chuckling at the memory of Chad attempting to eat complete halves of lemons and drink a shot at the same time. “He’s so easy to manipulate,” Steve mused, using his free hand to dip under the edge of Chris’ jeans. Then the man in front of him halted to a stop, Steve bumping hard into the back of him, “What the-“

“Jensen!” Chris hissed, rushing forward and dropping to his knees in front of their writhing friend.

“Shit what’s wrong with him?” Steve gasped and joined Chris on the cold cement. “Is he having some kind of seizure? Did he take something? Fuck is he OD’ing?!”

Chris hardly registered Steve’s voice, panic surging up in him. Vaguely in the distance he heard someone calling Jensen’s name and looking down he can see Jensen’s cell phone lying just shy of a puddle of water. Not knowing what else to, Chris reached out for it, “Hello?”

“Where’s Jensen?” The man on the line was breathless and Chris could hear another urgent voice in the background.

“Misha who is it? What happened? Is he okay?”

“Misha?” It takes him a minute to place the name before his eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. “As in Jared’s Misha?”

“Who is this? And what did you do with Jensen?”

“It’s Chris and I didn’t do anything. He’s laying here on the ground having a fucking freak out. What did you do to him?” Chris laid a hand firm over Jensen’s chest in attempt to hold him still.

“Shouldn’t we call 911?” Steve whispered, moving to kneel above Jensen’s head and rest his head in his lap.

“Don’t. He’s okay,” Misha insisted.

“What the hell?” Jensen sat up, startling both of them, causing both to jump back and up. “What the fuck happened? Where did the blood go?”

Chris and Steve exchanged a long look before Chris’ attention was drawn back to the phone in his hand, “What?”

“Is he awake?” In the background he could hear Jared nagging though he couldn’t make out the words.

“Yeah he is.”

“He is Jared, calm the fuck down. Okay I’ll ask. Ask him what happened.”

Chris pulled the phone back from his ear and stared at it before offering it out to Jensen, “Uh, Misha or Jared, can’t tell which, wants to know what happen and I’m just as confused so you can take over this… thing.”

Jensen nodded shakily, pushing up off the ground and bringing the phone up to his ear. Chris listened to Jensen’s fumbled over the strangest explanation he’d ever heard, “It was him. No I didn’t see him but- well yeah the blood. And tar… the alley… I don’t know, the sky? Well how I supposed to know? As is tar dripping from a ceiling is any less weird… At a bar with friends… About ten- he wants me to what? Oh… Yeah okay. Alright I’ll see you soon. Oh and Misha? Don’t let him freak too much. I’m fine… Yeah okay. Bye.”

Chris exchanged a curious glance with Steve as Jensen snapped his phone closed, his back lifting with the weight of a heavy sigh. When he turned to face them he had the bridge of his nose pinched between his index and thumb finger. Steve took a hesitant step forward, “Uh… everything okay?”

“What? Oh,” Jensen looked up as if he was surprised to see them still standing there. “Oh… sorry guys. I must have passed out, then I had that dream thing again…”

“Okay…” Chris nodded and frowned. “So um, now you’re…?”

“Going to Jared and Misha’s. It’s a… there’s a thing, and I…” Jensen waved his hand vaguely before turning and walking away from them.

Steve scoffed in irritation, turning to Chris, “Damn, now I’m not horny and a little pissed off. What the fuck is wrong with him?” Chris just shrugged and wrapped his arm over Steve’s shoulder to pull him flush against his side.

“We’ll get it out of him later, now about the being horny thing…” Chris chuckled and backed Steve against the wall and dipped down to bite kisses against his neck.

*

Jensen’s heart raced uncomfortably fast as he walked out of the alley and out into the street. A horn blared to his right and he turned quickly, hands reaching out just in time to slam down on the hood of a rusted green pick up truck that stopped mere inches from him. “Holy fuck,” he gasped.

The driver merely honked his horn again.

Flipping him the bird Jensen stalked away, heart beating almost impossibly faster then before. He stared determinedly at the sidewalk the entire walk to Jared’s place, afraid that if he looked up something might trigger the sight again. He wasn’t completely certain why Jared insisted he come over, but it did ease the fear he had at going back to his apartment alone.

Honestly he wasn’t completely certain he could handle another dream like that. The pain and panic it inspired was too real to be manageable.

Jared was waiting outside the building when Jensen arrived, arms opening to pull him forward into a tight hug, “God Jensen. So sorry. I can’t believe the bastard came after you. I mean, I can. Because that’s him.”

“Do you really think it was your dad?” Jensen asked as they made their way inside.

Jared didn’t answer until they were back inside his apartment. Misha met them just inside the door, holding out an already open beer, “I’m guessing you could use this.”

“Fuck yes,” Jensen took it and drained half in one long drink.

“My dad killed my Momma and brother,” Jared stated, picking up the previous conversation without hesitation. Misha reached out to squeeze Jared’s upper arm in comfort. “Something snapped in him that day, while I was at school. I don’t know what it was but it changed everything. He killed them and he left me and he doesn’t like me to be happy. He wants to take any good things I have in my life. Like he did with Misha. And now with you.”

Jensen finished his beer in a second long pull, setting it down quietly on the counter and rubbing his palm against his face. He wasn’t completely certain how to respond to this and – judging from the sad look in Misha’s eyes – it wasn’t the first time they’d had this discussion. “Jared…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jared shook his head, giving Misha a side hug before stepping up to Jensen and taking his hand. “It’s awful I know. But we can stop it. I can. Come. It’s time to go to sleep?”

“Sleep?” Jensen’s eyes darted to Misha who just wore a small fond smile, obviously completely adjusted to every bit of Jared’s oddities.

“You need to meet my Momma, she’ll stop this.”

“Meet you… but uh- Jared. I don’t think that’s really-“

Misha’s hand fell on his shoulder, stopping them on the way to Jared’s room. “Hey Jay, why don’t you go get ready. I’m gonna give Jensen some details okay?”

Jared nodded and headed to the room at the furthest part of the apartment. Jensen watched the door close then turned to Misha with worried eyes, “I can’t meet possibly meet her. You allow this delusion-“

“Stop Jensen,” Misha pulled back and shook his head. “Obviously you don’t really meet her. He’s just going to find her in his dream and explain you to her. It helps if you’re near. Look, I know it’s crazy and I know it’s impossible to believe but just… I did it and I’ve never had the dream again so…” Misha finished with shrug, dropping down onto the couch to signal the topic was no longer up for discussion.

Jensen stared at him for a long minute before he turned and walked toward Jared’s door. After a few beats of silence he tapped softly on the door with two knuckles. The door swung open immediately, Jared meeting his eyes before smiling slightly, “I sleep in my boxers. We could put a pillow between us if that bothers you.”

He couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that bubbled up at the comment, walking past Jared into the room and looking around the room casually. It was mostly similar to the front of the apartment – white walls, white carpet, white bedspread – with the faintest touch of color – brown headboard, blue pillow, purple blinds.

“It’s not much,” Jared climbed onto the bed, pulling back the cover for Jensen to climb in. “Will you also be sleeping in your boxers?”

A small smile tugged up the corners of Jensen’s lips as he flipped the top button of his pants open. “Yeah but we can put a pillow between us if you’d like,” He teased, dragging down the zipper and pushing the jeans down over his hips.

“Misha and I cuddle sometimes,” Jared offered and Jensen blinked owlishly at him. “Not in a gay way. Misha’s not gay. I’m gay, I suppose, but not Misha.”

“You’re a little nervous huh?” Jensen smiled, climbing onto the bed beside Jared and reaching out to him. At the man’s soft nod he reached out to run fingers down the pale skin, “Don’t worry. I won’t molest you in your sleep.”

“No?” Jared grinned at him and scooted down to lay his head on the large pillow. Jensen hovered uncertainly beside him for a moment before dipping down and sealing their lips together.

A large hand slid up behind his neck, pulling him closer so he was laying half on top of him. Their tongues twisted together between parted lips, Jensen’s hand tangling up into Jared’s hair. The man beneath him moaned, shifting to tilt his head further back and grant more access.

“God…” He whispered as Jensen moved down to kiss along his neck, tracing his tongue over the curve of Jared’s neck bone. “Oh shit,” He gasped as Jensen moved further down to bite Jared’s nipple.

“I could stop,” Jensen whispered in a puff of cool air against the sensitive flesh.

“Please don’t,” Jared groaned, arching up into Jensen’s lips as he resumed kissing across the soft skin. “So blue…”

Jensen didn’t bother trying to figure out what he meant by that, trailing his hand down the tight muscle of Jared’s stomach, fingers hovering over the waistband of his boxers. He knew this would be Jared’s first experience with someone else and had to proceed a level of slowness he’d never done before, “Can I…” He cleared his throat and started again. “May I touch you?”

“If I can touch you as well,” Jared rolled on his side, pushing him back a little so they could face each other, each adjusting to find the most comfortable position. Jensen’s heart raced in a whole different way as Jared’s hand dipped slowly under his boxers, pulling his semi hard cock free.

Their lips crashed together again as his fingers wrapped along the base of Jared’s cock, pausing as Jared mimicked his actions. He slid up with a slight twist squeeze, Jared doing likewise just a second or two delayed. They matched strokes, breaths mingling as Jensen pulled back from the kiss, bumping their foreheads together.

“Fuck Jared,” He hissed, running his thumb about the slit at the top, and growling low in his throat as Jared repeated the action and squeezed for emphasis. “Quick learner,” He mumbled with a low chuckle, jerking up into Jared’s hand as his impending orgasm surged forward.

“I try,” Jared gasped, meeting Jensen’s desperate thrust, tightening his hold as his eyes flickered closed.

Jensen licked a long line up the curve of Jared’s neck, pulling back to blow on the area before nipping at the bottom of Jared’s ear lobe. “Come with me,” He moaned into his ear.

Jared made a soft whimpering noise low in his throat before coming over Jensen’s hand and up along his stomach. Jensen followed suit, toes curling as his eyes squeezed closed and he allowed the pleasure to wash over him in delicious tendrils up his spine.

They collapsed beside each other, silent as they caught their breaths. Jensen reached out to grab his shirt and wipe halfheartedly at the mess on his stomach, then Jared’s, “That was fucking fantastic.”

“Mmm,” Jared agreed, sliding an arm under Jensen’s shoulders and pulling him close. “Night Jensen.”

“Night.”

*

 _The room around him vibrated with tension and a cold sweat formed along his brow. He knew something was wrong before even spotting his Momma across the long hallway. The blood seeping from the walls was thick, like paste and there was a window framed by the red – through it he could see a green field. The floor screamed with his first step._

 _“Momma? What’s going on?” Jared frowned, wanting more then anything to run into her arms and hide from this place._

 _“He knows Jared. He’s not happy,” She shook her head. “But he’s the least of your worries.”_

 _“Make him leave Jensen alone Momma.” A small smile tugged on his lips. “I think I might love him… but he’ll go away if Dad keeps attacking him.”_

 _“Oh Jared,” His Momma shook her head. “You need to listen to me. This is important and there’s an answer you’re not seeing.”_

 _The ceiling started to break apart in large chunks, sailing off into the red sky before vanishing completely. Jared watched in confusion. This place, his childhood home with the blood washing the walls, had always been here in his dreams. “I don’t get it. What’s happening?”_

 _“We’ve got to go now,” She whispered gently and Jared realized she was growing more faint, and the blood was drying into thick stains._

 _“But no. You can’t go. You can’t leave me here. I need you,” Jared pleaded, stepping forward in panic._

 _His Momma blew him a kiss before disappearing. Jared let the tears fall from his eyes even as Jeff spoke from behind him, “You’ve got your answer right in front of you okay? Then things will be better.”_

 _“But Jeff… the house. And you and Momma. And Dad. Are you all going away?” Jared spun to him, dropping to his knees._

 _Around him the walls started to crumble._

 _“Yes. It’s time now. Bye Jared.”_

 _The roof broke away and the walls crumbled and Jared stood in the large field where in the distance he could make out the shape of a green truck heading his way._


	4. Chapter 4

When Jensen woke in the morning the memories of the previous day worked their way through his mind – causing a shiver, a frown, a scowl, and then a smile as he thought about the warmth of Jared’s arms. It had been incredibly wonderful to fall asleep in someone’s arms and the idea of repeating the experience – again, as soon as possible – warmed his body.

Only, when he rolled over to snuggle into Jared’s warmth, the man was not there and the sheets were cool. Slowly he peeked open his eyes, flinching at the sun fighting it’s way in through the cracks in the blinds. After half a dozen more tries he was finally able to open them without the sting and he slowly pushed himself up.

The room was empty so he climbed out of bed, pulling on his jeans before walking into the living room. Jared was sitting in a bright red chair by the window eating a pear in slow, precise bites. Jensen studied his profile in the mid morning sunshine until his emotions shifted beyond a simple admiration of beauty and he cleared his throat.

Jared turned to him, eyes so sad Jensen’s heart suddenly ached.

“Shit Jared, what is it?” He stepped quickly forward, sliding into the bright blue chair beside him. “Is Misha alright?”

“Misha’s at work,” Jared whispered, taking four more bites of his pear before going on. “They’re gone now. For good. It hurts more now then… then.”

Jensen listened carefully, committing himself to learning Jared’s speaking patterns as well as Misha, “The ghost?”

“My family,” Jared corrected and reached out to touch the window. “The ghost are still there. With them. Fainter maybe. Or perhaps that’s the sun.”

Jensen looked out to the street where a variety of people where making their way down the sidewalk, completely oblivious to the things Jared always saw with them. “How do you know your family’s gone?”

“The house fell. Our house. The blood dried and the sky was still red in the field with the green truck,” Jared’s voice raised a notch, eyes widening.

Jensen recognized the signs from the previous breakdown he’d witnessed and wasn’t too surprised when Jared practically jumped out of his seat and disappeared into his room.

*

 _”Not here,” Jared stared helplessly at the field, the truck already approaching. “There’s nothing for me here. Why am I seeing this?”_

 _He looked up to the clouds for an answer and they spelled out ‘look.’_

 _“But I have looked!” He protested, arms flailing up in exasperation._

 _The word shifted to read ‘closer.’_

 _Jared turned back to the truck, taking several steps forward. The driver was already pulling the tail gate open and he had to turn away. He couldn’t watch this over and over, it made him feel so helpless._

 _This time, instead of an empty field, Jared could see an old shack, wood gray with age, chimney half crumbled. That vague familiarity from before crept back and he stepped toward it._

 _In the next moment he was inside, looking around at the dust covered floor and the spider web covering ceiling. In the center of the room sat an open box with toys inside. Jared recognized the one on top immediately._

 _“Mr. Bear,” He lifted the stuffed toy up, fingers tracing along the dusty curve of his fur. “I’d lost you Mr. Bear... but where? Not in the fire… no… somewhere else?”_

 _Jared looked around the wide open room curiously. He really felt he should know this place and it’s name hovered just on the tip of his tongue even as the world around him faded away._

*

When Jared woke it was late afternoon and his room was cast in a soft glow of the setting sun. He hadn’t slept much the night before and – even with the nap – he felt exhausted. Walking out to the living room he discovered Misha on the couch, feet kicked up on the coffee table, eyes focused on the TV.

“Jensen left, but there’s a note on the counter,” He said by way of a greeting.

Jared wanted to fall onto the couch and weep into Misha’s arms about really loosing his family but the note from Jensen was too tempting to resist.

 _”Jared,_

 _I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to say to make it better but I’m a great listener if you want to talk about it. Were still on for dinner tomorrow night at seven, yeah? I’ll see you then unless you want to cancel. Let me know?_

 _Jensen_

 _P.S. – I had to borrow a shirt… I’ll give it back later._

Jared folded the note in half and sat it back on the counter, emotions flickering too rapidly in him to be tolerable. Part of him itched to crawl back under his covers with his iPod and the little peace it provided, but the other part – that consequently won out – needed comfort and solace.

“Misha,” He mumbled and moved to the couch.

Misha gazed up at him for a long moment before lifting his arm to give Jared the room to crawl onto the couch beside him and drop half into his lap.

*

“So uh, dude? The mental breakdown yesterday?” Chris flopped on Jensen’s couch, followed by Steve.

Jensen looked up from the computer, “Thanks for knocking.”

“Serves you right,” Steve scoffed. “Who doesn’t lock their fucking door dude?”

“Chad was supposed to bring back my pipe,” Jensen shrugged, pushing out of the computer chair and heading into the kitchen. “Sodas?”

“Now whore,” Chris demanded and reached up just in time to catch the Mountain Dew Jensen chucked at him. “Whoa fucker. How am I supposed to open this?”

“Outside and carefully,” Jensen pointed to his window before handing Steve his own drink.

“What’s up? Jared didn’t put out?” Chris took the soda from Steve’s hand and exchanged it with his own, giving Steve a bright, innocent smile.

“Okay one – none of your business. Two – you have no idea what you’re talking about and three – shut the fuck up,” Jensen took back the soda from Steve’s hand and headed back to the kitchen to get an unshaken one.

Chris chuckled, popping the tap on his Mountain Dew, “Someone’s a prickly bear.”

“Can we get back to the original topic?” Steve interjected.

Jensen sighed and dropped down into his computer chair, “I can’t really explain all this to you.”

“We’re your best friends,” Chris stated and leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees. “If not us then who? Your new best buds Jared and Misha?”

“It’s not like that okay?” Jensen shook his head. “It’s Jared’s issue. It’s personal.”

“And Jared is…?” Steve waved vaguely in the air for Jensen to fill in the blank, only Jensen wasn’t sure he wanted to.

There was no reason to think his friends wouldn’t be happy for him having a relationship, it was just – Jared didn’t fit into their world. A bunch of carefree guys doing illegal things who didn’t dream of bloody houses or brutally murdered children. Who didn’t see ghosts following people around. Jensen couldn’t see how these two parts of his world could possibly combine smoothly.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Chris egged him, a genuine smile curving his lip upward.

“No. Yes. God, it’s complicated and _shit_ when did I start sounding like a facebook status?” Jensen sighed in defeat and opened the drawer by his computer desk. “If we’re going to talk about this I’m gonna need to be a million shades higher.”

Chris and Steve agreed and took the offered bag and tray from Jensen, preparing things while Jensen sorted out exactly how to explain everything.

*

An hour later Jensen sat squished on the couch between Chris and Steve, carton of ice cream balanced on the pillow on his lap, three spoons dipping periodically into it. Jensen smacked the cool Cookies N’ Cream flavor between his lips before saying, “And then he woke up this morning and started going on about his family finally going away. About the house disappearing and it’s not that I don’t believe him. Cause I do-“

“Of course you do!” Chris interjected.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Steve agreed.

“I do! I believe him it’s just… whoa. You know? It’s whoa. Because he sees _so_ much. And I’m just plain boring Jensen who hacks computers-“

“You’re not plain!” Chris disagreed.

“How could you be?” Steve added.

“So plain! I can’t even hold a candle to Misha and his awesomeness. He’s been Jared’s best friend forever and he knows _everything_ about him! And damn this is great weed-“

“Purple haze!” Chris informed.

“Mike’s purple haze!” Steve chuckled.

“Why would Jared want someone like me?” Jensen sighed loudly, dipping his spoon back into the ice cream to retrieve a large serving. He stared at it thoughtfully before opening his mouth wide and pulling the entire glob of sugary substance off the cold metal. He scrunched up his face, “Oh. Brain.”

“Brain freeze!” Chris cheered.

“Poor Jenny’s brain…” Steve lamented.

“You guys are crazy,” Chad sauntered in through the front door. “I have no idea what you’re talking- holy shit this place reeks. Didn’t you open a window?”

“WINDOW!” They all cheer and laugh.

Chad shook his head and walked to the furthest part of the room to yank open all three windows, “Right. Well Jensen, here’s your pipe. Though I don’t think you should use it. Are you sure that’s just weed?”

“I’ve got this theory,” Jensen held up his spoon, swirling it between his fingers. “Would you like to hear my theory? It’s really a great theory.”

“Share the theory!” Chris urged.

“I like cheese,” Steve stated and they turned to look at him, Chris and Jensen snickering in the background. “I’m just saying. We should have some cheese with our cookies and cream. Because cheese is good for you. It’ll cancel out the badness of the ice cream.”

“My theory!” Jensen continued. “Something is mixed in this. Never trust Mike to provide the schwag-“

“If we had cheese your brain wouldn’t hurt.”

“- _because_ ,” Jensen glared at him for a moment before going on. “Because Mike gets his schwag from people who sell things like shrooms. And there’s bound to be cross contamination. Which is dangerous-“

“And if we had cheese! We’d have crackers too! Which isn’t cold but just as tasty.”

“Steve,” Jensen laid a hand on Steve’s leg. “I have cheese in the fridge. Would you like some?”

Steve looked at him for a long moment, eyelids sliding slowly closed then open. To Jensen’s right Chris chuckled. Finally Steve shook his head, “Why would I want cheese? We’ve got ice cream.”

“Alright,” Chad shook his head and sighed, clearing off the table and moving everything back to the Jensen’s usual storage place. “I’m cutting you three off and calling Mike to tell him he sold you some fucked up shit. Jensen, give me the ice cream.”

“Blast! Damn you vile woman!” Chris jerked up his fist in his best Stewie Griffin impression.

“Yeah,” Chad nodded and grabbed the ice cream container. Jensen watched him through fuzzy eyes. He felt slightly reassured by having the truth about Jared out in the open. His friends were still here and talking to him and that’s what mattered. With a faint smile on his face he let his eyes drift completely closed and his head fall to rest on Chris’ shoulder.

*

Jensen woke at two in the morning. The light above him was glaringly bright and his mouth was so dry he thought his tongue might be glued to the bottom of it. There was a dull pounding against his brain and he would have groaned but his throat was so scratchy it came out sounding like the motor of a dying computer.

Steve was draped across his lap, head pillowed in Chris’ lap, mouth pressed against Chris’ crotch. Chris had both arms wrapped tight around Jensen’s upper body, bent in an angle that looked impossible and Jensen winced just thinking about how sore he was going to be in the morning.

“Urghhh,” He grumbled, shoving so forcefully that Steve rolled off him onto the floor and he could push himself up off the couch.

“Mmmffpphh,” Steve growled as Jensen stepped over him and stumbled into the kitchen to pull out three glasses. As he filled them with water Chris fell sideways across the couch and rolled off to land on top of Steve.

It was a pretty well known fact that very little could wake Chris. Landing on a pissed off boyfriend was one of those things however and in the next moment both were sitting up and mouthing the air like fish out of water.

Jensen drained his glass before bringing the other two to them. The ability to speak didn’t return until five full glasses later and even then his voice sounded like he’d spent three hours screaming the night before, “Holy fuck. How much did we smoke?”

“Gonna kill Mike,” Chris growled, crawling to the kitchen to refill his glass.

“So dead,” Steve agreed and followed Chris.

“Bed,” Jensen gestured towards his bedroom and stepped over the collapsed Chris on the kitchen floor. “Come on. Plenty of room.”

The men pushed up and followed with eyes half closed. They all collapsed on the king sized mattress in relief, Chris mumbling something about the way he’d get rid of Mike before they were once more asleep.

*

When Jensen woke again it was four in the afternoon and Steve was lying on top of Chris on the bed beside him, tongues and hands tangled. His mouth was still impossibly dry and he scowled. “Fuck guys,” He growled and it felt like sandpaper against his throat.

“That was the plan,” Chris smirked even as Steve climbed off him. “You’ve been asleep forever.”

Jensen groaned and rolled off the bed. His fingers wrapped around the glass on the nightstand and he drained the contents. The water was oddly refreshing even if it had that slightly old taste water got after sitting out over night. “How long have you two been up?”

“About an hour, we used your shower,” Steve finished buttoning his shirt with a wide grin.

“And you somehow thought making out on the bed while I was still asleep in it was okay?” Jensen arched an eyebrow and opened his drawer to pull out some clean boxers.

“You think we just made out?” Chris grinned and Steve reached out to smack the back of his head as Jensen whipped around.

“Chris has a kink,” Steve shrugged helplessly, sitting on the bed to pull on his socks.

Jensen gapped at them for a minute before scoffing and turning back to his drawers, “You guys are fucking incredible. What if I’d woken up? I would have been scarred for life. Seriously.”

“You would have joined in,” Chris shrugged, watching Jensen as he walked back around the bed to his bathroom.

He sighed and headed into the bathroom to turn on the shower, “Go home. I’ve got a date at seven and I’ve still got shit to finish before I go.”

“About that,” Steve started hesitantly and Jensen watched through the mirror as they exchanged a look. “We should probably talk about this whole Jared thing you brought up last night.”

“Shit,” Jensen shook his head as the memories from the night before trickled back. It had felt like a relief to tell them the whole story, but hindsight was twenty/twenty. “Can we pretend I never said any of that stuff?”

Chris walked into the bathroom, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the bathroom door, “I think not. Dude, the shit you said was really fucked up. Are you sure this Jared guy is-“

“Don’t Chris,” Jensen sighed and pulled off his clothes, ignoring Chris and Steve’s wide eyes. He needed a shower and at least three cups of coffee before he could even entertain the idea of having this conversation. “You don’t know him. You didn’t see the things I saw. You weren’t there so can we just _not_ do this?”

“So just because this guy happened to think a guy in the park was creepy and he just happened to say the guy killed kids and he just happened to make you call 911 and that guy _just happened_ to have _actually_ killed some kids makes him not crazy when he sees ghosts?”

Jensen can’t resist pulling back the shower curtain enough to poke his head out and glare incredulously at Chris, “Did you just hear what you said?”

Chris turned to Steve for back up but Steve just shrugged, “You did sound a little ridiculous.”

“That’s not the point!” Chris exclaimed. “Look Jensen, there’s no way this guy is for real. He’s a nut job. Getting involved with him is just… wrong. It’s like taking advantage of the handicapped or something.”

“You are so fucked in the head,” Jensen mumbled as he stepped back under the shower’s spray. “Would you both just _go_.”

Chris huffed, turning out of the bathroom and stalking off. Steve hovered in the same place a moment longer saying softly, “Just be careful Jen,” before he followed Chris.

Jensen tried not to let the words weigh too heavily on him. He believed Jared, how could he not after all he’d seen? But how could he get involved with someone who his friends were obviously going to have an issue with? It was like some horrible cliché in which he would be forced to choose between his friends and the potential love of his life.

“Fuck,” He sighed, letting his head fall against the tile as the water washed over him.

*

 _Jared could only sigh when he sat up in the field. This time the house was much closer and just in front of the decaying porch stood a giant oak tree. His mind flashed to a memory of climbing that tree with Jeff. Almost like a whisper on the wind he could see Jeff loosing his grip on the branch and falling the twelve or so feet to the ground._

 _For just a second he thought he could hear Jeff’s anguished cry. But then the rumble of a truck drew his attention and he turned to watch it approach._

 _“Are you just going to let this happen?”_

 _Jared whirled around to stare wide eyed at a short blond haired man he’d never seen before, “Can I stop it?”_

 _“Don’t you know that already? Jared. You have your answer.”_

 _“I wish someone would explain exactly what that means. I’m getting a little annoyed with this cryptic stuff,” He sighed, running a hand up through his hair. The noise of the truck stopped and he didn’t have to turn around to know the man was climbing out of the driver’s side._

 _“But you should know. I shouldn’t have to explain it. It’s all been leading up to this and this is your chance. You have your answer.”_

 _The blond turned and walked away, fading before he’d gone even ten steps._

 _Jared flinched at the screams of the man being beaten but refused to turn around. The sky turned a deep shade of crimson and the grass around him wilted. Tears fell from his cheeks as the screams hit their crescendo then cut off with a final gurgling note._

*

The clock read 6:52 when Jared blinked his eyes open. He watched the dots flash for several moments before his stomach lurched and he sat up. “Oh shit.”

“Hey Jared,” Misha knocked on the door, raising an amused eyebrow as he watched Jared fumble off the bed and start throwing clothing out of the closet. “Jensen just called, he’s about a block away.”

“Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. I fell asleep,” Jared held up a bright purple shirt and stared incredulously at it. “Why do I own this? Did you buy this? It’s ridiculous.”

Misha chuckled and walked into the room, rifling through the shirts before he pulled out a sky blue one, “Wear this, it looks good on you.”

“Aw thanks Mish Mish,” Jared reached out to ruffle Misha’s hair, laughing as he ducked away. “I always knew you wanted to have my babies.”

“And to think I help you with anything,” He shook his head, heading out of the room. “I’m totally letting you fend for yourself from now on.”

Jared shook his head, throwing things around to find his shoes. There was a knock on the front door and his eyes widened. He knew his shoes had to be around somewhere, he just kicked them off the night before.

“Jared!” Misha called from the living room. “Your lover boy’s here!”

“Shut up!” Jared called back in the same sing song tone, dropping to his knees to look under the bed. “Stupid shoes. Really should clean my room. Ha! Success! Jared one, shoes zero.”

“Everything okay?” Jensen said from the door way and Jared whirled around to see him leaning against the wooden frame, amused smile curving his lips up.

Jared studied his frame, sucking in a quick breath at how drop dead gorgeous he looked in simple jeans and a button down shirt, “Me? I’m good. Fine really. Shoes are awesome. I found mine. The shoes.” Jared held them up to prove his point before falling heavily onto the bed and sighing. Sometimes he wished he didn’t sound quite so idiotic when he spoke in front of Jensen, but he couldn’t help that the guy was so incredibly sexy and Jared was just not equipped to handle that.

He pushed up from the bed and watched Jensen’s eyes drag first down then up his body. He felt outrageously nervous suddenly, though he knew shouldn’t. After all, he’d shared a bed with this man already – and done things he’d only ever done to himself.

“You’re blushing,” Jensen’s grin widened and he held out a hand. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded quickly, grabbing a coat off the back of his chair and stepping over the scattered clothes. “Where are we going?”

Jensen just shrugged and grinned more, “You’ll see.”

Misha stood by the door, pulling it open as they approached, holding out a small black cell phone, “Here. Take this. Use it if you need me okay? My number’s already programmed in.”

“You don’t have a cell phone?” Jensen asked, face shifting with surprise.

“TV remote remember?” Jared shook his head, taking the cell phone with a look of disdain. “I’m gonna break this.”

“Better not, it was expensive,” Misha scoffed and shoved Jared’s arm. “Now get out. I’ve got a lady friend coming over. And Jensen?” He pointed to the man who just blinked curiously. “You hurt him or allow him to get hurt and I’ll beat you within an inch of your life, got it?”

Jensen’s eyes widened owlishly while Jared just rolled his own and tugged on Jensen’s arm, “Enjoy your lady friend Misha. See you later.”

As they descended the steps Jensen whispered, “You don’t think he’d really beat me within an inch of my life, do you?”

Shrugging, he grinned over at Jensen, “Probably. So it’s best we just not do anything to put me in harm’s way.”

“I have this hunch that’s easier said then done.”

A dark haired girl was waiting just outside the front door when they pushed it open and Jared skidded to a halt, eyes widening slightly, “Lexis.”

She looked at him for a long moment before smiling, “Hey Jared. Misha’s upstairs yeah?”

“Yeah but he’s got a lady friend coming over,” Jared mumbled and looked down at his shoes, blush crawling up his cheeks.

She laughed and reached out to pat his arm. “Pretty sure that’s me or else he has some real explaining to do. Hey listen, sorry about last time-“

“No it’s me. I’m sorry. I’m weird and I freaked you out and I’m glad-“ He stumbled over the words, running a hand rapidly up through his hair. “I’m glad you’re still interested in Misha and not letting my insanity affect that. Because Misha’s really great and I’m just his stupid room-“

“Stop Jared,” Lexis shook her head, smile widening. “It really is okay. And if I stop seeing Misha at any point I promise it’s all his fault.” Beside them Jensen cleared his throat and Lexis turned to look at him. “Oh! You must be Jensen! Nice to meet you.”

Jensen shook her hand with a slightly confused smile, “Yeah um, you too.”

“Well you have a good night. Try not to stress too much Jared. I swear its okay,” With that she turned and disappeared inside the building.

They stood quiet for a few beats before Jensen reached out to link their fingers and pull them down the sidewalk, “So… she’s the girl you…”

“Yeah, the one I ran away from. It’s just… the ones with her. Some bad things happened. When she was younger. And her family all died. Pretty tragically,” He sighed shakily and gazed wide eyed at his feet as they walked. “It’s hard sometimes. You know? Seeing all these things. With severed heads and blood and organs handing out.” He shivered, full body quivering.

Jensen sucked in a breath, “Oh my god. Is that what happened to her family?”

“A few of them. There’s more. I’ve never… I mean, how do you ask that? What horrible thing happened? And she doesn’t know,” Jared shrugged. “It’s the reason I left. That night. It’s all kind of ironic I suppose.”

“Why do you say that?” Jensen squeezed his fingers reassuringly and when Jared glanced over at him, he smiled warmly.

“Well… two or so months ago we ran out of pears one morning. So Misha went to get some because I… I really like pears you know?” Jensen chuckled and Jared smirked slightly. “Right, you know. Anyways. On the way there he bumped into her cause he was in a hurry – I was not in a good place, bad dream – and he knocked the groceries out of her hands. He felt so bad he bought her new ones. I guess they hit it off and are still sorta seeing each other.”

“And that’s why it’s ironic?”

“No well, I mean. Because of the pear and the store and Misha being sweet as sugar to girls with big boobs, I met you,” Jared shrugged.

Jensen blinked before tilting his head back and laughing, “You really crack me up you know?”

“I know,” Jared nodded and blinked. “Oh, I mean… you laugh a lot. So I assumed it was me.”

“Come on,” Jensen grinned, tugging him across the street.

*

“I do enjoy a good steak,” Jared said happily as he opened the menu. “We only eat here once in a while because Misha says I eat half a cow every time and the world can’t spare that many cows but I think he’s lying because I’ve seen lots of cows and I really have been too far.”

Jensen laughed and rested a hand over his, “Nervous?”

“Yes. Though I know I shouldn’t be,” Jared shook his head. When he looked up his eyes landed on the waitress walking their way. Behind her hovered a bright red man, held tilted at an unnatural angle, blood smeared against the smashed side of his face. Jared’s stomach churned uncomfortably and he looked down quickly.

“Can I get you something to drink?” She asked politely but Jared could feel the sadness flowing off her. The air around them shifted to the faintest purple and he sighed softly.

“Oh um… do you have apple juice?” Jensen asked, instantly making warmth stir up in Jared’s body again. The waitress must have nodded because Jensen continued, “Okay one apple juice and a coke.”

“Got it, I’ll be back with those in a few,” She nodded and walked off.

When Jared was sure she’d gone he looked up at Jensen and sighed again, “Poor girl. I think she just lost her boyfriend or husband. It must have been a car crash…”

“You… you could see him?” Jensen asked softly, eyebrows furrowing above narrowed eyes.

“Sadly,” Jared nodded, rubbing both eyes with the heels of his hands before looking back down at the menu. “Let’s be ready to order when she comes back. I think I can only take so much. She’s just overwhelmingly sad.”

“You can feel the emotions too?”

“Only the really intense ones. They tend to make the air shift and change. Like when people are really mad. Or in her case sad. The mad one happens more often though. Her pain just makes me ache.”

Jensen was quiet as they finish deciding what to eat, and Jared wasn’t sure what he said wrong. He thought about his dream earlier. _It’s all been leading up to this and this is your chance._ He wished he knew what it meant, what he was supposed to do.

“Are you ready to order?” The waitress asked, setting their drinks in front of them.

Jensen cleared his throat and ordered first. Staring at his menu, Jared only registered Jensen had finished when he felt the small tap of Jensen’s fingers on his hand. He looked up quickly in surprise, “Oh. Sorry. Um… can I have the t-bone special? Baked potato? The loaded one right? And um… vegetables.”

The waitress nodded and scribbled the order down on her notepad. Jared watched her with sad eyes. He reached out to lay a hand on her arm just before she turned to walk away. She stopped and looked at him, “Yes?”

“I’m sorry. I mean… you look really down, like something happened. And I’m sorry. I promise if you just keep going it gets better. It takes forever and it may get a little worse first, but it will get better.”

She watched him for a long moment before a slow smile pulled the corners of her lips upward. The air – though still just the faintest purple – shifted slightly, the pressure on his lungs fading. “Thanks,” She nodded, eyes glistening just faintly in the low lights of the restaurant. She sniffed softly and turned to walk away.

When he turned back to Jensen it was to find the man grinning brightly at him, “That was really sweet.”

“Was it?” Jared laced his fingers together on the table top and smiled. “Well good.”

*

Talking to Jensen was something he had to grow accustomed too each time they saw each other. It’s not as if Jensen wasn’t easy to talk to – because he was, almost as easy as Misha – it’s just, with Misha he wasn’t trying to make a good impression. He could care less what Misha thought of his spontaneous comments because honestly, he wasn’t looking to interest Misha in a physical way.

With Jensen, though, he felt like he had to seriously consider each topic he brought up. So the conversation over dinner was a little more hesitant and jerky then he’d have liked. A different waitress had brought their dinner over – her parents hovering white and gleaming proudly behind her – and Jensen had done a pretty good job of bringing up off topic things that Jared also had a comment on.

Just as they were leaving the restaurant – Jensen pushing the door open for them – their original waitress came up, stopping Jared with a hand on his arm. When he turned to her he was surprised to see the space behind her vacant.

“Thank you again, for your advice, I really appreciate it,” She smiled and reached up on tip toes to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

Jared stiffened, forcing himself to pat awkwardly at her back before stepping back, “You’re uh… you’re welcome.”

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, reaching out to squeeze Jensen’s arm also before walking back inside. Jared turned, eyes wide, to Jensen who just shrugged with a smile.

“I guess you really made an impression,” Jensen offered as they stepped out onto the street.

“He was gone. The guy. He wasn’t there at all,” Jared whispered, grabbing Jensen’s hand. “I wonder where he went? Maybe I am like Haley Joel Osment.”

Jensen laughed, shaking his head, “So you’re supposed to help the dead people? Even though they know they’re dead and they can’t touch or say anything? How are you supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know. Cheer them up? Like I did with her,” Jared shrugged though the idea did seem a little foolish. “Alright. Fine. Maybe not. Where too now?”

“Well um,” Jensen cleared his throat, rubbing his free hand along his jeans. “I thought maybe we could go back to my place? Watch a movie or play some-“

“Sure,” Jared interrupted, grinning over at him. “Let’s go back to your place okay?” They started walking in silence until Jared pulled the cell phone out of his pocket and stared at it thoughtfully. “Could you text Misha on this thing and let him know I won’t be coming home tonight?”

Jensen heart sped up as he took the device, smiling brightly, “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

*

Jensen unlocked the door, reaching in to flip on the light. He panicked for a moment, thinking of the night before and trying to remember if he’d put away the paraphernalia. Then he remembered Chad had taken care of it sighed in relief. Dropping the keys on the hall table, he turned back to Jared as the door clicked closed. “So what do-“

He was cut off by Jared’s lips pressing against his, a large left hand coming up to cup behind Jensen’s neck while the right dipped low on his waist to pull him full flush forward. Jensen moaned in surprise, mouth falling open, tongues meeting in the middle.

They stumbled backward into the wall, Jensen’s left foot catching on the hall table and causing him to fall heavily against the solid white. He broke the kiss with a gasp and Jared’s lips instantly latched onto his neck. “Oh god Jared…” He groaned, reaching up to tangle his hand in Jared’s long locks.

Jared shifted to tug at the buttons on his shirt front, popping a few but Jensen couldn’t be bothered with something so trivial in comparison to the silky heat of Jared’s lips against his flesh.

“Should we,” He gasped as Jared’s fingers pinch-twisted his left nipple. “Uh, should we go to the bedroom?”

“Please,” Jared pulled back, wrapping long fingers around Jensen’s wrist and tugging him further into the apartment.

Jensen allowed himself to be pulled, free hand reaching to unsnap the button on his jeans, dragging down the zipper just before Jared spun him around and shoved him down onto the bed. Jensen’s eyes widened, crawling backward as Jared climbed over him.

“Fuck Jared,” Jensen hissed as Jared knelt between his spread legs, hands hovering in the air about his waist line.

A small, oddly innocent smile lifted Jared’s lips, which completely contradicted the way he tucked his fingers under Jensen’s boxers and tugged – crawling back off the bed until the denims fell over his feet and onto the floor. Jensen was panting, so turned on the edges of his vision blurred. He sat up quickly to push the shirt off his shoulders, throwing it against the wall.

Jared slowly dragged his thumb between his shirt and jeans, curling his fingers around the fabric and tugging up and over his head in one long motion. Jensen watched his abs flex and stretch. His cock twitched against his stomach, a pearly drop of precome forming at the tip.

He couldn’t really believe what was happening, where was the shy, nervous Jared that had been here less then half an hour ago?

“Can I…?” Jared climbed back onto the bed, settling between his legs, trailing his index finger up along his thigh. His hand hovered over Jensen’s cock, finger tips ghosting along the skin. His eyes widened as Jared’s thumb swiped at the tip, gathering the precome there and bringing it to his lips and sucking it into his mouth.

“Fuck. Do whatever. Just… something,” Jensen growled, arching up desperately.

Jared smiled softly, slowly curling his fingers around the base of Jensen’s cock and stroking one long line up. He tightened his fingers a fraction more and repeated the action before frowning, “Not slick enough.”

Jensen opened his mouth to tell him the lube was in the drawer to the left of the bed, but the words died on his lips as Jared leaned forward to circle his mouth around the tip of Jensen’s cock, tongue tracing along the flesh. He was fairly confident the noise that fell from his mouth was nowhere near intelligible and his hips bucked up in a desperate plea for more.

With a soft chuckle Jared pulled back, hands covering Jensen’s hipbones to hold him down. “Patience Jensen,” He whispered before dragging the flat of his tongue up the full length of Jensen’s cock. Jensen shuddered as Jared’s fingers once more curled around the base and he stroked up and down repeatedly.

His eyes drifted closed only to fly open again when he was suddenly encased in the warm heat of Jared’s mouth, Jared’s fingers making up the difference easily. With a whimper that felt much too desperate, he tangled his fingers through Jared’s hair, pulling gently. “Jesus,” He gasped as Jared sucked him in.

Using all his remaining self control, Jensen allowed Jared to keep the tortuously slow pace in which he bobbed, hand stroking twice up and down when his lips sucked on the soft silk of the head. If he could have muster a coherent thought he’d be begging and pleading for more – for Jared to just finish him off because his mind was going to explode if his cock didn’t soon.

Jared hollowed his cheeks deliciously, taking so much of Jensen in that the tip of him just barely grazed the back of his throat. It was too much for Jensen, who bucked and writhed beneath Jared’s still secure hands.

“Jared please…” He managed to groan, eyes squeezing shut as he pulled hard on Jared’s hair.

All at once Jared took as much of Jensen in as he could manage, bobbing up and down rapidly, fingers squeezing with each upward stroke.

Jensen felt his toes curl as his orgasm crawled up his body. His muscles tensed, as heat surged through him and he came into Jared’s mouth, barely muttering a sound in warning. Jared swallowed almost all of it, just a small line of come dribbled out the corner of his mouth as he pulled back. He reached up to wipe at it before breaking into a wide grin.

Jensen stared at him through hazy eyes, heart racing, fingers shaking. “Damn.”

“Was that alright? I’ve never done it before…” Jared crawled up his body, pressing a few kisses along his stomach before dropping to his side.

“Jared?” Jensen rolled over to face him, tucking his fingers under Jared’s pants and tugging down. “Shut up.” Jared smiled warmly as Jensen crawled down his body.

*

Jared stretched luxuriously, sheet falling just below his stomach as his toes curled and he yawned loudly, “Mmm… what a good night.”

Jensen trailed his fingers along the flat of his stomach, “Exactly what I was thinking. I uh… I’ve got some pears. Would you like one?”

Pushing up to a sitting position, Jared’s grin grew so wide it practically lit up the room, “Yes. I would very much like a pear.”

Chuckling, Jensen climbed out of the bed and pulled on his boxers, walking out to the kitchen only to stop suddenly when his eyes landed on Chris and Steve sitting on the couch. “Uh. Alright?”

“We’ve come for an intervention,” Chris explained, hands folding together in his lap. “It’s for your own good really.”

“Chris…” Steve whispered and gave Jensen a sad look, like he couldn’t help what was about to come.

“No, I mean… it’s obvious this Jared person has some del-“

“Chris,” Jensen hissed.

“Listen to me Jensen it’s important! Whoever this Jared guy is, he’s completely out of his fucking mind and I will not allow you to be involved with him and if-“

“Chris!” Jensen’s eyes widened, reaching out to stop him but Chris continued on.

“I don’t want to play this fucking games but I will if I have to! If it’s going to come down to you choosing between him and us then, so be it. Because I’m not going to let you be with this fucking lunatic.”

“Wow,” Jared’s voice was soft from the doorway and Jensen’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. When he looked over at him Jared was already dressed – shoes and everything – which meant he’d most likely heard everything Chris had to say. “Um… I guess I should go.”

Chris’ eyes grew wide as he put two and two together, his face shifted to shame, coloring red, “Oh. You’re Jared aren’t you?”

“The lunatic himself,” Jared said coldly but his face scrunched curiously as he looked at him. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Chris silently shook his head and Steve stepped forward, “Oh Jared. Chris didn’t mean it. It’s just… we’re just worried for Jensen is all. He doesn’t get involved with people very often and he can be a little fragile sometimes.”

“I am not fragile,” Jensen huffed and stepped up to Jared to take his hand. “Don’t listen to him… only I think you should go because I don’t want to ruin you with all the nasty words I’m going to say to Chris.”

Jared smiled hesitantly and dropped a quick kiss to Jared’s lips, “Call me later?”

“Got your cell?” Jensen asked and Jared nodded. “Wait here.” He darted into the kitchen, pulling out a pear and walking back to him to offer it. “Here. Eat this on the walk okay? I’ll call later.”

Jared gave him another kiss then turned to look at Chris once more, “You’re sure we’ve never met?”

“Yeah. I’d remember,” Chris mumbled, eyes still a little wide.

“Oh and um, Chris?” Jared stopped halfway to the door. “I’m sorry about your grandparents. It seems like you were close to them, they do approve of you and Steve by the way, if you’re curious.”

Jensen laughed as Jared walked out the door, shutting it behind him. He stared at the wood for a few moments before turning to Chris with narrowed eyes. “You’re dead Kane.”


	5. Chapter 5

_The smell was the first thing he noticed, even before opening his eyes. Everything around him stank of liquor and cigarette smoke. When he sat up – coughing on a sharp inhale – the air around him shimmered the dark crimson of blood._

 _He was on sitting on cool plastic that bounced and shifted constantly. Tar dripped from the ceiling to the dash. When he turned to the left the man driving flickered as muscle and bone temporarily before returning to his usual self._

 _Jared recoiled to the furthest side of the cab, stomach churning. He knew this man, if only because he’d seen him exit this very truck almost every night for over a week. When he turned to look out the window the clouds rearranged to spell out ‘watch.’_

 _The view outside the window was, unsurprisingly, a large stretch of green fields though Jared thought it seemed more like one of those moving screens these use on TV and that maybe the truck wasn’t moving at all. They passed a billboard for Teen Pregnancy – the image of a sad girl, head balanced thoughtfully on her hand – a second before the truck veered suddenly right onto a mostly hidden trail._

 _“Gonna kill that queer,” The man growled low in his throat, fingers wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel they were purple._

 _Jared could already make out the distant shape of the decrepit shack and as they bounced along the environment shifted. He was suddenly a little boy, riding in the backseat of his dad’s blue car. His Momma was laughing, Jeff to the left of him joining in._

 _As they slowed to a stop his dad turned halfway in the seat, grinning brightly at Jared, “Something in my gut says you need to see this place.”_

 _The memory faded as the truck stopped and driver climbed out._

*

“So… you got laid,” Misha flopped down beside Jared on his bed and turned his head to grin at him.

Jared laughed softly, stretching from his afternoon nap, “A version of, yes. Then I met his friends which turned out to be a less then pleasant occurrence.”

Misha sat up, face instantly hardening, “What did they do to you? I’ll kill them.”

Jared grabbed his wrist before he could climb off the bed, “Whoa, down tiger, I’m fine. Jensen just… well I’m assuming he told them because they called me a lunatic and basically gave him an ultimatum.”

Misha blinked at him for several long beats, “Damn. His friends suck. Aren’t you pissed at him for telling them?”

“I don’t blame him,” Jared shrugged. “It’s a lot to deal with you know? I mean, you _do_ know. Aren’t there times you wish you had someone besides me to talk to about all of this?”

With a small sigh Misha fell back onto the bed, “Occasionally. Then it hits me that everyone will think I’m psycho so I keep it to myself.”

They lay in companionable silence for awhile and Jared thought about his dream. Something nagged at his gut, like he should be doing something and that by not doing anything, bad things were about to happen, “Misha?”

“Hmm?” Misha hummed.

“I keep having those dreams, with the guy in the green truck.”

Misha rolled on his side, eyes opening to study Jared carefully, “Do you think it’s going to happen?”

Jared shrugged and ran a tongue along his lower lip, “I don’t know. Maybe it did happen? Maybe I’m supposed to bring justice to the victim and catch his killer. Or, you know, lead the police to his killer.”

“Do you think it’s possible? Could you point the guy out?”

“Not sure. But last night I made one of _them_ disappear by confronting his girl. Maybe if I solve this, the dreams will go away,” Jared sat up, climbing out of bed and over the various articles of clothing to get a clean pair of boxers.

Misha watched with an amused smile before asking, “Where are you going?”

“Shower,” Jared gestured towards the bathroom. “And then I’m calling Jensen.”

“So soon? Aren’t you supposed to wait three days for these types of things or does that not apply to gays?”

“Jensen is my answer,” Jared shrugged, removing a blue t-shirt from a hanger in the closet.

“What exactly does that mean?” Misha also climbed out of the bed, arms folding across his chest as he negotiated around the cluttered room.

Jared hesitated just inside his bathroom doorway, clean clothes grasped firmly in his grip. “I’m not exactly sure, but it’s important.”

*

“Tell me why I shouldn’t find the most fucking painful way to kill you and hire someone to do it?” Jensen growled, face turning a bright shade of red with anger and eyes narrowed.

Chris flinched slightly, “Because you wouldn’t be able to make rent?”

“Chris,” Steve hissed and held a hand up to stop Jensen from lunging forward. “On behalf of my occasionally idiotic boyfriend, we didn’t realize Jared was here. The plan,” Steve paused to glare at Chris, “was actually to sit down and talk about all the potential dangers having a relationship with a- with someone like Jared may bring.”

“And why did you tell him about my grandparents?” Chris jumped in, expression shifting from slight shame at Jared overhearing his rant to annoyance in a flash. “Not cool man.”

“I didn’t,” Jensen snapped. “Why the hell would I do that? Hell, I didn’t even mention you two.”

Steve shook his head when Chris opened his mouth to respond, obviously guessing what the comment was going to be. “We shouldn’t be fighting about this.”

Chris pushed up off the couch, eyes narrowing in anger, “Fuck you Jensen. You don’t want to listen to me? Fine. But you can bet your ass I’m gonna be saying ‘I told you so’ when Jared goes all lunatic on you.”

The brunette stormed out of the apartment, leaving the door open for Steve to follow. Jensen looked over at him with slightly wide eyes; Steve sighed as the stomping of Chris’ feet on the steps echoed around them.

“I don’t understand why he’s being this way,” Jensen mumbled softly as Steve headed forward.

“He’s just worried,” Steve sighed again, hand combing up through his hair in one long sweep before falling to his side. “Give it time. And if Jared turns out to be someone special to you, then I’m sure Chris will come around.”

Jensen watched the man leave, closing the door behind him with a final, sad smile. He really wanted to believe Steve’s words, wanted to be comforted and reassured, but he just didn’t think Chris would come around. It would take some sort of miracle to warm him up to Jared at this point.

Looking around his small apartment, Jensen couldn’t fight the feeling that everything was about to change. It was in the air, hanging heavy and pressing against his chest uncomfortably. The night before with Jared was one of the best of his life and not near enough to satiate the growing need he had for the taller man. There wasn’t an easy way to make a desperate appeal to Chris who was, above everyone else, supposed to be his best friend.

The phone on his desk vibrated but he chose to ignore it, needing a shower and several strong cups of coffee before even considering dealing with the world. It seemed a cruel irony, that he may have found someone who was actually worth being with – who he could possibly see himself falling in love with though he pushed the thought to the part of his brain labeled ‘think about when you’re much less sober’ – and in the process of gaining that he’d be forced to loose one of his closest and most important friends.

“God dammit,” He sighed, the words sounding closer to a whimper and not anywhere near the anger they would normal hold.

*

The phone was on it’s third ring when Jared snatched it up, flipping it open and pressing it firmly against his ear, “Hello? Jared speaking.”

The line crackled with a low chuckle before Jensen answered, “Well hello Jared, how lovely to hear your voice.”

With a bright grin he fell back onto his bed, “You too. Everything okay? I called earlier but no one answered. Were your friends still there? God I hope everything is okay because it was just awful…” Jared trailed off awkwardly, biting his lip to keep from rambling on.

Another soft chuckle, though this one sounded much more forced and ended with a sigh, “Yeah, I saw your missed call. Sorry, I really needed a shower and caffeine. And, you know… drama sucks but it’s pretty frequently unavoidable.”

“Your friends cause a lot of drama?” Jared was not completely certain about drama being unavoidable. He doesn’t experience much of it himself – outside of seeing red ghosts flaring with anger and so on.

“The world causes a lot of drama,” Jensen supplied with a harsh laugh. “It’s just gonna take time but look, I’m sorry about what happened. I never intended-“

“Don’t fret,” Jared cut him off. “I get that you needed someone to talk to so it’s okay. I just hope you and your friends can patch things up because I’d hate to be the reason for a fallout or something.”

Jensen sighed long and slow and Jared could imagine him rubbing at the bridge of his nose in aggravation. “I think the fallout’s just around the corner, possibly not something I can put off you know? Don’t blame yourself. It’s my life. And if I want to have you as part of my life then, I will. Since Chris doesn’t stir up nasty thoughts and give me fucking amazing blow jobs, so… you know, easy choice.”

Jared smiled softly, rolling on his side to stare at the window, “The blow job was fucking amazing?”

“Beyond that,” Jensen admitted with a chuckle. “The point is, I like you. A lot. Maybe more then I should considering how long I’ve known you and Chris is just going to have to deal with that. Maybe he’ll come around, maybe not. I’ve made up my mind so the ball’s in his court.”

“Alright,” Jared thought it was best to let things end there on the subject. It was obvious any more apologies on his part would be pointless and there was no negotiating Jensen’s decision. Maybe in the future Jensen would change his mind – would decide Jared was not worth loosing his friends – but until then Jared was going to cling to this new light in his life. “So I keep having the dream with the green truck.”

“Still?” Jensen asked and his voice shifted instantly from the annoyance of discussing his friends to concern. “Any idea what that could mean?”

“No, but I know you’re good with computers and I was hoping you might be able to do some sort of search about murders in the area? I mean, I don’t know if it’s local completely but I think I’ve been there before… I just can’t quite place it. All I know is the guy drove a green truck and I think the guy he killed was gay or something.”

“So a gay killing where the main suspect drove a green truck? And possibly local? Thankfully I’m the master of GoogleFu,” Jensen chuckled and Jared could hear the quiet clacking of computer keys.

He blinked several times and sat up in bed, “What the hell is a GoogleFu?”

Jensen’s chuckle turned into a full belly laugh that lasted much longer then Jared thought was really needed, but he smiled anyways. Jensen had a pleasant sort of laugh, even if it was directed at him. “Google is a search engine online. Fu is like, you know, kung fu? So GoogleFu…”

“Right,” Jared laughed as well. “Okay you do your GoogleFu thing and I’m gonna go eat dinner with Misha. He made Mac ‘N’ Cheese which is my favorite because he makes it with three extra pieces of sliced cheese.” Jared’s stomach growled on cue and he headed out of his room toward the kitchen.

“Okay, I’ll call you if I find anything tonight. If not we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah… bye then,” Jared said softly before flipping the phone shut.

Misha eyed him with a smirk, “How’s the lover boy? Did he kick his friend’s asses or maybe something a little more lasting?”

“No, but he definitely wasn’t happy about it. Not sure exactly what happened but I think he’ll be okay. He’s going to GoogleFu my dreams,” Jared sat on the bench, pulling the bowl of cheesy pasta towards him and linking his lips.

“Uh… GoogleFu?” Misha arched an eyebrow, serving up his own bowl. “As in the search engine?”

“Yes,” Jared nodded, the word coming out slightly slurred around the large mouthful of food.

They ate in companionable silence for a while before Misha cleared his throat, pushing up from the kitchen stool and walking around to set his bowl into the sink, “Look, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something regarding Lexis.”

Jared looked up curiously, standing to clean up his own bowl, “Did you two break up? Because I swear I was really nice to her last time I saw her before the date. She was really nice too. I thought we hit it off…”

“No. I mean, no it’s okay. She likes you, I swear,” Misha smiled softly, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when something was really stressful.

Furrowing his eyebrows Jared took a few cautious steps backward, “Somethings wrong? What is it? Did I do something? Whatever it is I’m sorry. Seriously.”

“Jared no, you didn’t do anything,” Misha reached out and snagged his sleeve. “Listen. God… Jared… Lexis is pregnant.”

He has to blink several times and take slow, precise breaths, before he can even process what Misha just told him. “Pregnant? As in… baby?”

“That generally follows pregnancy,” Misha nodded uncertainly, mouth pursued in concern. Silence fell heavy across them as Jared tried to process what would happen next. Of course he knew this day would come at some point; he didn’t want to deny Misha his right to have a life. Jared just thought he’d be in a place in his life where he’d be set to go off on his own and allow Misha his freedom. “Jared? Can you say something because I’m really starting to get worried.”

Something snapped in Jared’s mind and he realized he’d been standing here fretting his fate instead of offering his friend the congratulations he should, “Dude! You’re gonna be a dad?! That’s so… well honestly it’s a little terrifying and I fear for your child.”

Misha’s head snapped up and he grinned, reaching out to smack Jared’s arm painfully hard, “Shut the fuck up.” He laughed and stepped into Jared’s hug.

“Details,” Jared demanded, pulling back. “When did she find out? How far along is she? What happens next with you two?”

Misha chuckled, falling back to lean against the counter, “I found out today. She’s about two and half months and um… well… I think I’m gonna… I mean…” Misha’s voice dropped low in his throat and he rubbed the back of his neck again. “I think I’m gonna ask her to marry me.”

Once more Jared found himself blinking in a stunned silence. He recovered faster this time though and slowly smiled, “Seriously?”

“Not just because she’s pregnant,” Misha hurried to explain. “It’s just… she’s amazing. More amazing then… then anything. She puts up with my shit, and with me being attached to you in an almost unhealthy way. And I think things are going to work between you and Jensen so…” He finished in an awkward shrug, like he said more then he was initially planning on.

Jared swallowed and nodded, trying not to think about what would happen if he and Jensen didn’t work out. “So… I guess she’ll be moving in,” Jared didn’t want to ask and he didn’t like the way his eyes stung at the edges as he stared at the tiled kitchen floor. “Do you… do you want me to move out?”

“What? No. Not right away. I mean, of course not,” Misha surged forward to wrap a supportive arm around him. “Look, don’t worry about it now okay? Let’s just celebrate! I bought Sparkling Apple Cider!”

Jared perked up at the mention of the drink and grinned, “Yeah. Let’s celebrate!”

*

After an hour skimming through old news articles about murder cases on Google Jensen gave up and hacked into the police departments cold cases in three different counties. It was fairly easy to sort through and find the best search methods, but he comes back empty handed. There were several cases with suspected green trucks as getaway vehicles but none involving murders.

When he called Jared the next day it’s the first thing out of his mouth, “My Googlefu and awesome hacker skills totally failed me dude. I got nothing.”

“Damn,” Jared sighed, long and drawn out and Jensen arched a curious eyebrow.

“Everything alright? Are the dreams gettin’ worse?” He asked in concern, sipping from his coffee mug before taking a hit from his pipe and reclining back in the computer chair. He rolled his head back along the headrest, eyes fluttering briefly closed as the muscle stretch and pull.

Another sigh, “Yeah, I’m just… Misha got Lexis pregnant. Which is totally awesome and he wants to marry her which, again, awesome. It’s just…”

“Not sure what’s gonna happen to you?” Jensen supplied when Jared trailed off with a small whimper.

“Pretty much,” Jared admitted, though he sounding mostly guilty. “I’m a horrible best friend.”

Jensen listened to him chew – on what was presumably a pear – before speaking, “You are not a horrible best friend. You are a guy who suffered unspeakable trauma growing up and found your first real comfort and solace in Misha. It makes sense you’d be concerned. He’s important to you.”

“When I was in the orphanage,” Jared began and everything twisted in Jensen. He hadn’t heard much about that period of Jared’s but he knew how much it affected Jared in his day to day life. “I was all alone. None of the kids would talk to me because they thought I was fucked up. I sort of was, but that’s beyond the point. They were so mean, I used to get beat up all the time, sometimes so bad I had to go to the hospital.

“And none of the adults cared because I terrified them. It was all before I learned not to talk about the ghosts. Then… one day they tried something new. Electric shock therapy…” Jared’s voice stuttered to a halt on tears and Jensen inhaled sharply.

“They electrocuted you? That’s gotta be fuckin’ illegal. They can just _do_ that.”

“I was a ward of the state. They could do whatever they wanted. I stopped talking about _them_ after that but they still did it a couple more times to be safe,” There were several beats of silence as both men processed the words. Jared cleared his throat before continuing, “My point is… Misha never did any of that stuff. Never judged that way. He believed me and supported me like no one ever had before and now I’m gonna loose that. I’m gonna loose him.”

“I believe you, and I’ll support you,” Jensen offered, though he doubted it would do much to help. “I know I’m not anything compared to Misha but still…”

Jared chuckled, “You gonna let me move in and buy me pears and apple juice and put up with the random times I disappear for hours to listen to music on my iPod or fall asleep on your lap and drool all over your favorite pair of gym shorts?”

Jensen let of a beat of silence pass to take in the mostly bizarre statement before he chuckled and shrugged casually, answering a question that was anything but casual, “Sure. I could do that. Though I’ll admit I don’t have a favorite pair of gym shorts and I reserve all rights to tease you mercilessly should you fall asleep and drool on me at any point in time.”

“Are you…” Jared choked on a laugh, clearing his throat and Jensen could hear the door to the fridge open then shut. “Are you saying I could move in with you?”

It was exactly what he was saying but some part of his mind was screaming loudly that there was no amount of logic that would make this make sense. He’d only known this guy for a couple of weeks – if that – and so far he’d been subjected to two paralyzing dreams and the near downfall of his lifelong friendship with Chris. Still, he didn’t hesitate to answer, “Yes?”

“Wow,” Jared chuckled, sounding pretty dazed, which was understandable considering the magnitude of the invitation. “Color me orange.”

“Huh?”

“Orange. Surprised. Right, sorry. But yeah. Wow,” They sit in almost silence for several minutes. Jensen can hear the soft clink of a glass being set on the counter and if Jared listened he could hear the flick of the lighter as Jensen took another hit from his pipe. He was definitely not stoned enough to handle being rejected on his spur of the moment insanity move in plan. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jensen sat up straighter, dropping his pipe down on the computer counter with a loud clang, cringing as he snatched it up again to ensure it hadn’t cracked. “Okay as in, ‘that’s nice but your rushing things and that freaks me out’ or okay as in… yes.”

“As in yes,” Jared offered and chuckled softly when Jensen let out a loud cheer that echoed through the line along with Jared’s full body laugh.

*

Jensen has a collection of bongs that made two long columns along the floor of his walk in closet. They ranged from the absurd – like the five foot one Mike bought at some head shop two years ago and they’d only used one night since it got them so stoned Jensen woke fifteen hours later still fuzzy around the eyes and couldn’t smoke pot again for three weeks – to the practical – like his favorite, the average sized black and white spotted one that Chad had nicknamed Bessie due to it’s cow like appearance.

The first one he’d received was on his sixteenth birthday. Chris had showed up with a decent sized box and insisted they go to his room to open it. It turned out to be a bong in the shape of large dick, balls making up the base, and Jensen had spent the entire day flushed, thinking about it stashed under his bed. Now he only used it when he was sure no one would come over and even then he locked his bedroom and bathroom doors because he wasn’t completely sure he could handle the teasing that would follow if they knew it got him all hot and bothered to hold those glass nuts in his palm and get stoned.

The point was, Jensen loved his bong collection and really couldn’t bear to part with any of them because they all held some sort of sentimental value. Which is why he had them all stacked along his coffee table – except the five foot one which loomed along the wall threateningly – and he sat on the couch staring at them with wide, just slightly watering eyes when Chad came over to _borrow_ some weed.

“Uh… dude?” He blinked then broke into a wide smile. “We having some killer party? It’s gonna be fucking fantastic. We’re gonna need a lot of weed. Remember that one time when we smoked from each one? Damn that must have been four ounces I swear-“

“Chad,” Jensen cut him off and shook his head. “We’re not having a party. I’m putting them in storage, I’m just trying to decide which two to keep out.”

“You’re… what?” Chad’s eyes widened comically large like saucers, scrunching up his forehead until his eyebrows almost disappeared into his hair line. The words that followed were closer to squeaked then spoken, “Why the _hell_ would you do that?”

“I need some room in my closet,” Jensen shrugged, trying for casual though his voice wavered uncomfortably. “You wanna keep a few? And maybe I’ll have Mike and Steve keep some too… that way they don’t all have to go away.” Jensen did pause to see if Chad noticed the way he purposefully left Chris’ name out of the group. “Here you can have the penis one.”

“Ew,” Chad shook his head, dropping onto the couch beside him. “Dude, I don’t even know where to begin with this. Fuck… why do you need the room? Let’s start there okay?”

Sometimes Chad was a good friend, even if he was the youngest of the group and constantly the brunt of the jokes. More often then not he picked up on the most important issue. Jensen needing the extra space was definitely one of the more important issues, especially since he hadn’t told any of his friends about the Jared probably moving in thing. Even if they’d just had the conversation yesterday, it was pretty big news. “Well… I think… I mean, Jared’s gonna move in.”

Chad did his best fish impression – which was pretty damn convincing, especially when he kept opening and closing his mouth – for at least a minute before he shook his head violently, “Okay. That was fucking not expected. So he’s making you get rid of your bong collection?”

“He’s not _making_ me. But he’s going to need room for his stuff. He actually doesn’t know I have a bong collection, so let’s keep it that way.” Jensen paused in thought before frowning, “Come to think of it, he doesn’t know about my smoking pot thing. Fuck, why haven’t I covered this with him.”

“And here I thought I was gonna have to come up with a logical reason against Jared moving in,” Chad snorted and shook his head. “Dude, doing drugs is probably pretty high up on the list of things to cover pre-moving in. That and like, more then a week of seeing each other.”

“You too huh?” Jensen sighed and started lifting the glass bongs to wrap in a large sheet of bubble wrap. When Chad didn’t question what that was supposed to mean he got his answer. “Look, my life- my relationship with Jared- it’s not up for discussion okay? I’ve made my choice, this is how it’s going to be.”

“Right,” Chad pushed himself up off the couch. “I’m gonna… go buy an ounce, you want in or are you quitting the shit for your boy?”

Jensen shot him a glare, placing the wrapped purple and blue swirled bong into the box by his feet, “I’m set. Thanks.”

Chad left without another word, closing the door behind him harder then necessary. Jensen stared at it for a long time, trying not to think about the fact that he seemed to be on the fast track to losing all of his friendships.

*

He wasn’t going to lie, Jared was a little more then nervous about telling Misha he was planning to move into Jensen’s place. He was anticipating an argument, or at least some extended discussion about rushing things and taking a logical step back. So he’s surprised when Misha’s face just splits into a wide grin and he says, “Damn man that’s fantastic.”

“You think so?” Jared blinked and dropped down onto the couch, “You aren’t going to tell me it’s too soon?”

“Is it?” Misha set his beer on the coffee table and turned to Jared to give him his undivided attention.

Jared just blinked and scratched his head thoughtfully. He’d expected Misha to have these arguments and hadn’t considered thinking them up himself.

“Hey Jared,” Misha reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly. “You’ve been on this planet for twenty-six years and a great deal of that time was pretty fucked up. You have no reason to trust in humanity at all. So if you have a connection with Jensen that’s strong enough to even have you considering moving in then obviously it’s something rare and special. You need to grab hold of it and never let go; trust me, something that genuine doesn’t come around more than once.”

If people ever questioned why Misha was his one and true best friend, he would use this moment to explain it. Smiling softly he leaned forward to wrap arms tight around him, “You’re pretty much the best.”

“Only always,” Misha chuckled and pulled back to reclaim his beer. “Plus, you know, Jensen’s got that whole no ghosts thing going for him. Just… it’s gonna be a few weeks still, right? Alexis can’t move in until her lease is up at the end of next month.”

“Yeah,” Jared pushed off the couch to get some apple juice. “I’ll wait until then.”

*

When Jensen’s cell phone rang at nine o’clock he ignored it in favor of cursing into his pillow at the person who had the nerve to wake him up this early. Then the ringing stopped and he almost drifted back to sleep until the phone beeped with the voicemail notification. It’s exactly the reason he normally put his cell on vibrate at night. Only last night he forgot because he’d spent the entire evening listening to Jared ponder silly, pointless things with a fond smile.

There was no real option to but to listen to the voicemail because the device was going to remind him of it and now he was a little curious. He dragged himself out of bed, stumbling to the desk where his phone was plugged into the charger. The message was from Mike and he instantly wished he had just put the damn thing on vibrate because his friend’s messages is just, “Dude. Call me.”

Now Jensen has no real choice but to call him because Mike never leaves voicemails so something had to be up. He hit send to return the call and slowly worked his way through the apartment to the kitchen to flick on his coffee maker.

“Jenny!” Mike cheered exuberantly, far too cheerful for this early in the day. “So glad you called me back. I’ve got an emergency.”

“Your impending death?” Jensen grumbled, retrieving a Red Bull from the lower shelf and draining half of it at once.

“You’re _so_ witty. It’s irresistible,” Mike dead panned before going on. “My computer crashed last night and I swear it had nothing to do with youporn.com that I may or may not have been visiting at the time.”

“Did you click on one of the ads, Mike?” Jensen sighed and finished his Red Bull, opening the fridge again to grab a second one. “I told you not to click the links.”

“Well they said it was free,” Mike tried for sheepish but it didn’t really work. “Look the point is, I’ve got to finish this report and email it in by eleven and I have no idea what to do. I need your help.”

Jensen finished the second Red Bull and headed back to his bedroom to get dressed, “No fucker, I’m not your own personal tech support.” He groaned even as he slipped out of his pajamas.

“Dude, I promise to have a fresh pot of coffee and cheese Danishes and a ready mead bowl,” Mike insisted eagerly.

Jensen slipped on some jeans. “Fine,” He grumbled and flipped the phone shut, dropping it on his bed to change his shirt before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth and hopefully get rid of the acidic residue of two Red Bulls.

*

Jensen had come to learn never to expect anything regarding the house belonging to his four friends. At any given time you could find any assortment of oddities going on. Like the time he’d walked in to find identical Chinese girls sitting on the couch in Mike’s pajamas smoking from the hookah Tom had. Another time he’d walked in on Chris and Steve having sex in the most unusual position on the kitchen counter – he’d been sworn to secrecy and highly paid off so Mike and Tom never knew and still got a good laugh whenever Mike would eat food dropped on the tiled surface.

So it wasn’t completely unexpected when he walked in to find all five of his friends sitting in a semi circle. Mike and Tom on the couch – the middle spot between them open – Chris and Steve on the love seat and Chad in an arm chair turned towards the couch. He stopped just inside the threshold, dropping his carrier bag on the floor by the door, “Okay, what’s this? Some sort of intervention?” Everyone stared at him quietly and he blinked. “Wait. This is! This is some goddamn intervention.” He picked up his bag again, “Oh fuck this.”

“Jensen wait!” Mike jumped up, darting across the living room to grab Jensen before he could open the door again. “Dude, come in. Sit down. I’ve got coffee and Danishes-“

“And presumably no crashed computer,” Jensen hissed but allowed himself to be dragged into the room. “You guys are not seriously going to do this are you?”

“It’s for the good of everyone,” Chris insisted as Jensen fell back on the couch beside Tom. Mike hurried into the kitchen to fix up a cup of coffee the way Jensen liked it – black – and carry over a plate piled with delicious looking pastry items.

Jensen turned to Chris with narrowed eyes, “I think _you’ve_ said everything you had to say on the issue-“

“I haven’t-“

“Well then everything I’m going to listen to you say on the issue,” Jensen turned from him and took the mug from Mike. “This isn’t any… fuck guys you really just don’t want to do this.”

“It has to be said!” Chad pressed.

“At least listen to what we have to say,” Tom suggested, reaching out to lay a hand across Jensen’s thigh.

Jensen clenched his teeth and leaned forward to grasp the plate of pastries before reclining back on the couch. He didn’t meet any of their eyes, instead focusing on taking large sips of the burning, bitter coffee. Part of him wasn’t surprised this was happening, while the other part seriously questioned how he could be friends with these people.

“Jared’s not good for you. I mean, since you’ve meet him you’ve bailed on us more often then not,” Mike said slowly, as if he’d memorized this line and was working hard to recite it just right.

When Tom spoke next he sounded exactly the same, “You’re rushing things and you’re going to regret it when things come back to slap you in the face.”

“It’s probably a good idea to just take a step back and rethink things. Especially whether moving in is the wisest idea,” Chad took his turn next but the words were so forced they didn’t even sound like his was saying them.

Jensen stood up off the couch, setting the plate and mug on the coffee table and rounding on Chris with an outstretched finger, “Don’t think I don’t see what’s going on here Kane. So what did you do? Write a whole script? What the _fuck_ is your goddamn issue?!”

Chris pushed up as well, eyes narrowing dangerously. Mike jumped quickly into the space between them, “Hey now we all feel this way, we just thought it was important to have something already written out.”

“Fuck you,” Jensen spoke beyond Mike, eyes locking with Chris. “You have some fucking issue? Get over it. Get over it or get used to me not being part of your life because I’m not doing this shit.”

With that he turned and left the apartment before anyone could say anything more to him, fuming with anger as he made his way down the street, trying not to let the tears spill from the rims of his eyes.

*

When Jared opened the door he didn’t expect to see Jensen standing there, looking completely defeated with tears carving lines down his cheeks. His heart lurched and he wrapped firm arms the man, pulling him in for a bone crushing hug, “Oh god Jen what is it? What’s the matter?”

“My friends are assholes,” He sobbed into Jared’s shoulder.

Jared pulled him to the couch where Misha sat with an arched eyebrow and concerned eyes. “What happened?”

They listened to Jensen explain the intervention of sorts through hiccuped tears. Everything inside Jared grew tense with anger and he pulled Jensen flush against his side in sympathy, “I’m so sorry Jensen… that’s just…”

“Fucked up,” Misha supplied, shaking his head before pushing off the couch to head into the kitchen and retrieve a beer. “Here, you look like you really need this.”

“Fuck yes,” Jensen agreed. They sat in silence for awhile so Jensen could compose himself. “I need a nap,” He finally said with a sigh, looking over at Jared hopefully. “Can we maybe go take a nap?”

Jared smiled softly and rose, offering his hand and leading the way to his bedroom. They climbed onto the bed, spooning together and Jared ran a hand soothingly down Jensen’s arm. They didn’t really sleep, just laid together in silence while Jared tried to comfort him as much as possible. After awhile Jensen rolled over in his arms and their lips came together in slow, soft kisses.

Jared lost track of how long their tongues danced together, too caught up in enjoying the soft moans Jensen seemingly made unconsciously. He trailed his hand down the flat of Jensen’s chest, thumb brushing the skin above the top button of Jensen’s jeans. They were interrupted by Jensen’s pocket ringing.

Sighing, Jensen pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open, “What Steve? I’m really not in the mood to talk to any of you right now.” He was quiet for a minute and Jared watched the flicker of emotions across his face with concern. “No I haven’t seen Chris. I’m not at home. He hasn’t. Alright, bye.” He flipped the phone shut with another sigh.

“Everything okay?” Jared asked, ghosting finger tips along his brow.

“I guess Chris stormed out after I left. He won’t answer his phone so Steve wanted to know if he’d called or if I’d seen him,” Jensen shrugged. “It’s so like him too, you know? He’s probably in some bar getting wasted because that’s the smart thing to do before lunch.”

Jared tugged him close, pressing a kiss to Jensen’s forehead, “I’m sure he’s okay.”

Jensen scoffed but snuggled into Jared’s shoulder, eyes drifting close as the weight of the day pressed heavily on him and – despite all the caffeine he’d downed already – he slowly drifted off to sleep.

*

 _When Jared opened his eyes he was staring at a blood red sky, clouds the darkest black he’d ever seen. Things shifted unsteadily beneath him and he groaned as his head bounced up and down hard on something that caused a flare of pain to shoot down his spine._

 _The world dimmed slightly as he blinked the pain from his eyes. He wasn’t used to pain accompanying his dreams. It made his stomach churn._

 _When he turned slightly to the right he could see the passing telephone poles. For just a moment he caught the flash of a billboard before the vehicle he was laying in swerved and his whole body bounced against hard metal._

 _“Fuck,” He spit, pushing himself up so he could look out to the green field all around him. He didn’t have to look down to know the truck bed he was riding in was green._

 _Slowly he turned and looked down._

 _There was a body laying beside him, face down against the metal, hands bound, blind fold knotted at the back of his head._

 _His hand shook as he slowly reached out. The weight of the moment pressed heavily against his shoulders. Once he knew who this person had been he’d be able to bring forth justice, make the dreams stop._

 _Wetting his lips he gripped fingers tight and pulled until the man rolled towards him. Panic flared through him along with recognition and he jumped back, falling out of the bed of the truck into air that caught and cradled him for several long moments before he forced himself to wake up._

*

“Jensen!” Jared yelled, sitting up so fast in bed he fell off the mattress and onto the hard wood floor with a loud clatter.

“What? What’s going on?” Jensen sat up, scrubbing a hand across his sleep filled eyes. “Jared? Dude, are you okay?”

The door burst open and Misha stood there with wide eyes darting back and forth between Jared and Jensen, “What did you do Jensen?”

“It’s not him!” Jared jumped up, already pulling on his shoes. “Get up. Get dressed. Jensen we have. We have to go Jensen. NOW!”

“Jared, what is it?” Misha stepped forward, eyes wide with concern. Jared started hyperventilating, dropping to his knees as he panted with the lack of oxygen. “Jared! Breathe!” He quickly crossed the bedroom and slapped Jared hard on the back. His eyes darted up to Jensen. “Go get some juice! And a wet towel.”

Jensen hopped off the bed and hurried to get the required items. When he walked back into the room Misha had Jared stretched out on the floor, face beet red from the lack of air, “Here.”

Misha took the towel and wrapped it around his forehead. Slowly the color returned to normal as Jared’s breathing calmed. When he sat up Misha offered him the apple juice, which he took gratefully and downed in one long pull. He sighed contentedly as he set the glass down until he looked up at Jensen.

“Oh Jensen,” He hissed, breath picking up speed again.

“Wait,” Misha ran a hand along his arm. “Dude, take a deep breath and then tell us. Was it a dream?”

“The dream,” Jared whispered. “I saw… I saw the victim. I _saw_ him.”

“Who is it?” Misha whispered in concern.

“It’s,” Jared wet his lips and turned to meet Jensen’s eyes. “Jensen-“

“Me?” Jensen squeaked.

“No,” Jared shook his head. “No. No Jensen! It’s _Chris_.”

Jensen sucked in a sharp breath and shook his head, “No, it can’t be.”

“It _is_.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen sat heavily on the floor as the words sunk in, “No. This has to be some sort of mistake. You said that the dream had already happened, that you were supposed to bring justice for the victim.”

“I think I’m supposed to stop Chris from becoming a victim,” Jared said in a soft whisper, crawling across the floor to grab his hand. “I’m going to stop him. It’s not going to happen.”

“I can’t,” Jensen jumped up, backing away from Jared and into the dresser. “I… Chris. It can’t be Chris. It has to be wrong. _You_ have to be wrong.”

Misha opened his mouth – presumably to come to Jared’s defense – but Jared held up a hand to stop him as he pushed up off the floor, “Everything’s been leading up this Jensen. All the stuff that’s happened the past few weeks, hell maybe even longer than that. Maybe from the very beginning.”

“Everything?” Misha turned to look at him curiously.

“ _Everything_ ,” Jared plowed a hand up through his hair, eyes widening as he turned back to them, as if he were just realizing how true his statement was. “My answer. Jensen you’re my answer to the dream, that’s what it is. You’re the link connecting me to Chris. You’re the way I can stop this.”

“This…” Jensen repeated slowly.

For the most part Jared was used to not being understood, it comes with the territory. Only his thoughts were running at super speed now and he wasn’t going to figure everything out if Misha and Jensen kept interrupting him. “From the start. Misha meeting Lexis. Lexis being here. Me… leaving and then the alley,” Jared turned to Jensen, voice quivering with fear and excitement. “If I’d never met you the dreams… I never would have been able to save him. I didn’t know who he was, but I recognized him. In your apartment I _knew_ him.”

“Oh my god, the truck,” Jensen fell heavy back onto the bed, blinking owlishly. “The green rusted truck.”

“What about it?” Misha turned from Jared to Jensen, looking just as thrown by the whole thing as Jared – and surely Jensen – felt.

“I saw the fucking thing!” Jensen jumped back up, bending down to snatch at his shoes. “Outside the club! That night with the dream in the alley! It nearly hit me. I thought it was just a passing vehicle, but it must have stopped. I left Chris and Steve in the alley. He probably saw them… shit. _Shit_. Jared what do we do?”

“I’ve been there,” Jared’s voice reached a whole new level of dazed wonder. “The place he’s taking him. I’ve been there. As a child. It was… we went on a drive and my dad just took this random road, said he felt like we needed to go down it, we needed to see what was at the end of it.”

Misha’s hand squeezed his shoulder, “That means it goes back that far? Before they even died. God Jared… do you think…”

Jared couldn’t let himself consider the option Misha was suggesting, pushed it from his mind to think and mull over it. Now though he needed to focus on the issue at hand, “We need to get your friends. I can lead us there but we need to go now. I’m… I don’t know when he’ll be there.”

Jensen was halfway across the room and out the door before Jared had even finished. “In the risk of sounding like a clichéd movie character, shouldn’t we call the cops?” Misha asked, following Jared out the room.

“And tell them…?” Jared arched an eyebrow, grabbing Jensen’s hand before he could open the apartment door. “Jensen, he’s going to be okay.”

“But he died. In your dream, right? He died?” Jensen whirled towards him, tears watering the edges of his eyes. “You saw him die.”

Jared bit his lip as he considered it. “No. I saw him get beat up, kicked around, heard him make some awful noise but I can’t say he died. I mean… look, it’s not even going to get to that point. We’re going to stop this.”

“Let’s go,” Misha – who had vanished into his own room for a brief moment – came into the living room pulling on his sneakers.

Jensen turned to him with just the faintest smile, “You’re going to help, even though you think my friends are fucked up?”

“I’m going to ensure nothing happens to either of you,” Misha slipped his other shoe on and ruffled a hand through his hair. They both watched him as he shook his head. “Look, Jared’s one of the most important people in my life which pretty much means you are too Jensen so let’s go and do this. Strength in numbers right?”

They don’t argue the issue, just share very faint smiles before turning and heading out the door.

*

Steve, Mike, and Tom were waiting outside when they pulled up. Mainly because Jensen had called Steve and said simply, “Chris is in danger. We’ll be there in ten.”

Misha’s car can only fit five so they park and get out to use Mike’s van instead. Steve’s face is flushed and he nearly tackled Jensen to the ground before he’d even climbed out of the backseat. “What the fuck man? You can’t call someone’s boyfriend and say something like that without explanation.”

“I’ll explain on the way, first we need…” He hesitated and turned to look uncertainly at Jared.

“Baseball bats?” Jared offered with a shrug. “We don’t want to kill the guy, just need to knock him out.”

“This is Jared,” Mike blinked up at him and Jensen had to fight off the rush of annoyance.

Sighing, he headed toward the house. “We’re not doing this now Mike. Get over whatever fucking issues you have, Chris’ life is in danger. This is Jared and Misha and they’re coming with us, deal.”

Mike clamped this mouth shut, most likely because the anger and fear Jensen felt had to be flowing off him in waves. They silently followed him inside, each breaking off to their individual rooms to collect things that could function as weapons.

Jensen turned to ask Jared where they would be going only to find both him and Misha staring at the coffee table with matching curious expressions. He knew in his gut what they were looking at before he even turned to look. When he did, his suspicions were confirmed and he wet his lips. This was probably the last thing he really needed right now but there was no way to deny the assortment of pipes, dishes filled with discarded seeds and fine green.

“Yes, we smoke pot. No, it’s not the only thing we’ve done. And um… that’s that,” Jensen shrugged.

Jared and Misha shared a look before laughter overtook them both, building up from a soft chuckle and escalating until they clung to each other, faces turning beat red, tears falling down their puffed up cheeks. Jensen watched them with confused blinks, turning to share the confusion with Tom, Mike and Steve as they joined them in the living room.

“Is this really a situation in which laughing is appropriate?” Steve asked softly, words laced with a note of anger only noticeable to someone who knew the man’s mannerism well. Jensen reached out to squeeze his arm in comfort, appreciating the effort he was going through to keep the peace even if the world felt like it was falling down around him.

The two pushed themselves up, running hands along their eyes to clear away the tears. “God I’m sorry Steve,” Jared cleared his throat, the color staining his cheeks slowly fading. “It’s not… it’s just the weed. And Jensen’s expression. Like we were gonna flip or something.”

“And maybe a little tension relief,” Misha added as a side note, spreading fingers playfully up through Jared’s hair.

“So you don’t care?” Jensen arched an eyebrow, hand still hovering along Steve’s skin.

“No of course not,” Misha shook his head, turning to pull open the door. “God, like we’re the cops or something.” He headed outside, Jared following him with a soft chuckle.

Jensen hesitated, looking back at his friends who were watching him with still curious – and slightly annoyed – expressions. “Don’t look at me,” He shrugged and followed the other two out.

*

The first thing Chris realized when he woke was the ground was shaking. This seemed pretty odd to him because he wasn’t in California and he didn’t know what other states had earthquakes, but he was pretty sure New York wasn’t one of them. At least it’d never happened since he’d lived here. That and everything appeared to be pitch black and his mind was having a hard time catching up on the facts.

Something loud passed him and after a moment he recognized it as a vehicle. Process of elimination told him he was in the back of a truck and, when he tried to move, he realized the sharp pain that had been threading up his arms was due to his the tight rope binding his wrists together. Panic surged up as he tried to remember what had led to this.

Jensen had stormed out of the house and Steve had slapped his arm, yelling about how his stupid idea hadn’t worked and had only succeeded in pushing their friend further away. Chad and Mike had taken Chris’ side, which only angered Steve more until Tom backed him up. It wasn’t very often that they group of them fought – and when it did happen it was usually everyone against a drunk Chad. And Chris _never_ fought with Steve. Maybe once in their seven years of being together and that was only a ten minute heated discussion over what restaurant they’d go to on their five year anniversary.

This had been different though. Steve had been genuinely mad, telling Chris he was completely unreasonable in his viewpoint of a man he didn’t even know. That he had no right to be angry at Jensen for having his first real relationship ever. And it wasn’t that at all, Chris was completely supportive of Jensen’s dating, it was more the fact that Jared was insane. How could Chris possibly be okay with his best friend dating a crazy person who supposedly saw ghosts?

Everything around him shifted uneasily as the vehicle swerved. Fear bubbled up in him as the reality of his situation sunk in. He’d left the house with Steve yelling at him, had stormed down the street in anger. That feeling had ruled him for the first ten blocks until he thought of the anger on Steve’s face – directed at _him_ \- and he’d sat heavy on the sidewalk, unshed tears stinging his eyelids.

Someone had come up behind him, had said something, and he’d turned to him. That was about the time everything had gone black. Chris had assumed the pain in his head was coming from the bouncing vehicle – his head constantly lifting and smacking hard back down – but it occurred to him there was an underlying ache, as if something very hard had connected to the side of his face.

“Fuck,” He hissed as tears pricked along the rim of his eyes. Maybe this was some sort of karmic justice for cock blocking his best friend. Silently he swore if he ever got out of this – if he survived whatever was in store for him – he was going to give this Jared guy a chance and kiss Steve harder then he’d ever kissed him before.

*

They swung by to pick up Chad, not necessarily because he would be a good fighter, more because there would always be strength in numbers. Jared had a pretty good feeling about one crazy homophobe against seven guys of their stature. Most of them were at least six foot tall. Mike and Tom alone would have sparked fear in him, had he come up against them in any sort of fight. Jensen, Steve, and Misha’s faces were stony cold which added to their intimidation factor. And Chad, well he wasn’t exactly terrifying – more terrified – but the additional person couldn’t hurt.

Jared had instructed Mike to head towards the edge of town, taking a back highway that shifted steadily from three lanes, to two and finally to one when the traces of buildings faded into the background. Everyone had spent the first ten or so minutes watching him, waiting for some explanation, but their attention turned to the windows when it was obvious Jared wasn’t giving up anything any time soon.

In truth Jared was scared about a lot of things at the moment. The obvious, glaring one – was the man they’d be confronting when they approached that old wooden shack. After all, he could have a shot gun in the bed of that truck; he’d never thought to look. Or Chris could already be dead, but he was trying not to think about that.

There was another fear, pressing at the corner of his mind with its impending pressing. Jensen and Misha knew him, knew his abilities and oddities. From what Jared understood, Steve knew too – although he didn’t completely believe. He was pretty sure Jensen hadn’t told the other three about him unless Steve or Chris had supplied the details. So now he had to confess his deepest, darkest secret to these men, he figured, and saying he had dreams about Chris getting beat by a man in a green truck was not going to be explanation enough.

“Alright, enough of this. What the fuck is going on?” Steve snapped, rounding on Jared with narrowed eyes.

Jared couldn’t blame him. If it were Jensen missing and him trusting some near stranger – who they thought was insane – to get him back, well he’d be pretty pissed too. He looked at Misha with scared eyes and his friend instantly spoke, “Jared knows where Chris is. He’s seen him in.”

“What do you mean seen him?” Mike asked, watching them in the rear view mirror.

“This is about the sixth sense thing,” Steve stated, disbelief morphing his anger to annoyance. “Jensen. Are you trying to prove some point? What did you do to Chris?”

“You think I’d be acting this way if I thought this wasn’t real?” Jensen snapped, turning from the window he’d spent the last half hour glaring out, baseball bat twisting in his grip. “Don’t be an ass Steve, hear him out.”

Everyone turned to Jared as silence fell over the van. When he looked at Misha his friend only offered a small shrug. It was up to him to explain everything. He turned to Jensen, hoping to find comfort in his eyes as he briefly summed up his story.

Mike pulled the vehicle over, stopping so suddenly everyone lurched forward in their seats. The bald man spun around, staring at Jared with wide eyes, “Dude. You are fucking crazy.”

“And your little sister drowned in a pool when she was a child,” Jared snapped in return. He thought using the various ghosts in the van as proof, but hadn’t planned on throwing it at him like that.

The man was across the vehicle in the next heartbeat, barely being held back by Jensen and Misha. Jared recoiled up against the window, blinking owlishly at him. “What the _fuck_ do you know about my sister?”

“I can _see_ her,” Jared whispered like a hiss not bothering to fight the tears bubbling over his eyelids. “Just like I could see Chris’ grandparents and Steve’s father and Tom’s grandpa and Chad’s…” Jared turned to look at the blond. “Well um… female… not sure… mother?”

“Aunt,” Chad whispered in return, staring without blinking at him.

“Aunt,” Jared echoed and his eyes drifted close as his head fell back against the seat. “So that’s it. I’ve been dreaming about Chris. Only I didn’t know it was him but look. We have to _go_. We can’t stay here any longer. Whether you believe me or not, Chris’ _life_ is in danger.”

Mike silently climbed out of Jensen and Misha’s arms, sliding back into the driver’s seat and turning the key in the ignition. They pulled back onto the small highway, everyone still watching him but Mike – who continued to steal glances in the rear view mirror. Misha patted his arm comfortingly and Jensen reached out to squeeze his hand.

Chad was the first one to break the silence, “Dude. That’s fucking freaky. You’re like that sixth sense kid!”

Jared rolled his eyes, a person didn’t even have to know Chad to know this wasn’t an unusual type of remark from him. “No, not really at all.”

“He has a whole logic about it,” Jensen offered then looked out the window. “Are we almost there?”

“When you see the billboard for teen pregnancy, it’s right after that,” Jared leaned to the side to look out the window as well. “The road is nearly invisible. Just a dirt path really. He should be at the end of that.”

Less then two minutes later the billboard came into a view. The silence that fell across the van as they pulled off onto the dirt road was thick and tangible, tightening around Jared’s chest until he’s not sure he can breathe. Everything in his mind screams that it’s too late, that he’s to blame, that he should have seen this earlier. If Chris died… well Jared couldn’t even imagine what that would bring.

“Jared,” Misha took his hand and turned to look at him.

Jared blinked slowly, lower lip quivering, “What?”

“Is Chris here?” Misha asked calmly, laying his free hand over their clasped hands.

“What do you mean?” Jared looked down at their connected hands then back up at the bright blue of Misha’s eyes.

Shaking his head, Misha smiled just faintly, “I mean, if Chris was dead, he’d be here with Steve right? You’d see him in this van now.”

Jared’s eyes widened as he considered it, “You’re right. You’re completely right!” He chuckled in a mixture of relief and anxiety. “Oh god Misha I knew I kept you around for a reason.”

Misha snorted and threw an arm around his shoulder, “You love me bitch, get over it.”

Jensen arched an eyebrow, “Moment of realization?”

“Yes,” Jared nodded. “Chris isn’t here.”

“And you’re just now realizing this?” Mike scoffed.

“No, that’s not…” Jared sighed and turned to Steve. If anyone would gain comfort from his explaining this it would be him. “Look, if Chris were dead he’d be here. He’d be _with_ you here. And you wouldn’t be able to see him but I would. And I don’t. So he’s alive okay? We’re not too late.”

Steve worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a long moment, watching Jared with intense blue eyes before he lunged forward and wrapped arms tight around him, seat squishing between them, “Thank you. When we save Chris I promise everything’s going to change.”

Jared was happy to hear the hope in Steve’s voice, even managed a bright smile when the man pulled back.

“There it is, the shack. And the truck,” Mike hollered, foot pressing heavier on the gas pedal so they lurched forward over rocky dirt, stones pinging along the bottom of the van.

Jared learned forward, gazing out at the front window. He could see the man standing by the truck’s tail gate, foot hovering up in midair, “Chris is on the ground. He’s started.”

The van had barely slowed before the side door was being pulled open and all six men piled out, weapons at the ready. Steve ran forward before they could stop him so they had no choice but to follow, bats lifted.

“What the fuck are you all doing here?” The man asked in shock, spinning toward them, fists at the ready. “How the fuck did you find me?”

A wail left Steve’s lips as Chris came into the view, body curled in on itself, blood sprayed across the grass in arcs of red. “I’ll kill you,” Steve hissed, darting forward with his bat above his head.

“Steve!” Tom yelled, running to stop him but it was too late. The bat cracked down hard against the man’s head, hollow thump sounding incredibly loud through the sudden silence of Mike killing the van’s engine.

“Chris,” Steve whispered, dropping the bat beside the knocked out man and kneeling slowly beside his boyfriend. The brunette wasn’t moving, hardly seemed to be breathing, and Steve looked up at them all with wide, watery eyes. “Jared?”

“He’s not… he’s not dead,” Jared shook his head, taking an uneasy step forward before reaching back to grab Jensen’s hand. “I swear he’s not dead.”

Tom knelt beside Steve, fingertips pressing softly into the side of Chris’ neck. “I think I feel a pulse but it’s really faint. Someone needs to call 911.”

“On it,” Mike pulled his cell phone from his pocket, flipping it open and turning away from them.

Jensen joined Steve and Tom beside Chris on the ground, working with the ties around his wrists to free them. Steve undid the blindfold, smoothing his fingertips along Chris’ forehead, “It’s gonna be okay baby. We’re gonna get you help.”

Jared stepped closer to Misha, pressing against his side, “I wish I could do something. I want to help.”

“I’m pretty sure you have,” Misha reassured him, arm wrapping around his shoulders.

“Fucking ass hole,” Chad bent over the body of the man, using the blindfold that had covered Chris’ eyes to tie his hands together. “Can you get the death sentence for something like this? Cause I vote for that.”

“Not sure democracy works that way,” Tom explained gently, pulling the fuming Chad up before he could do any damage he might regret. “It’s okay. He’ll get his.”

“Better.”

On the ground Chris made a strange keening noise, rolling slightly before crying out in pain.

“Shit,” Steve hissed, hands hovering in the air about Chris’ broken body, not knowing what area would be safe to touch. “Oh Chris…”

The brunette’s swollen eyes peeled a fraction of an inch apart, gazing up, “Steve? Did you save me?”

“Jared did,” Steve whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he smoothed Chris’ hair back.

“Always liked that kid,” Chris said around a cough.

The tension of the group broke as they all chuckled, all a little teary eyed but relieved as they looked toward Jared and smiled.

*

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of flashing ambulance lights and police officers. Each boy had to give there statement – in which they said Jensen had witnessed Chris being tackled into the truck and had been able to track the GPS on Chris’ cell phone to find out where he was.

As it turned out the man who had taken Chris – Jeremy Newton – was wanted in four states for suspected gay bashings and one murder. The police were so glad to have the guy in their custody they hardly questioned the story. Which was a relief because they were all still too shaken to sort out the nitty gritty details. They’d go over the story later to be ready in case they were called to testify.

Steve rode with Chris in the ambulance and after a few hours the other boys were released to leave as well. Misha had to head home – apparently he’d been ignoring texts from Lexis during the whole fiasco and needed to do some serious damage control. The rest of them headed to the hospital.

Chris was asleep when they entered the room, Steve perched on a chair beside him – eyes red from tears previously shed. He looked up and pushed out of the chair, stepping into Jensen’s opened arms and breaking down in another round of soft sobs. Jared silently watched as Steve made his way through each friend, wrapping arms tightly around their waists.

Then Steve was squeezing him like the world depended on it, whispering _’thank you, thank you, thank you’_ into his shirt. Jared wasn’t very accustomed to touching strangers, which seemed to be happening more and more since the introduction of Jensen and company into his life.

Of course, everything had changed since he met Jensen. Talking seemed to come easier – if still a little on the bizarre side – and he no longer felt constantly terrified to face the world. In fact, before Jensen the only thing that could have gotten Jared into a hospital would have been a life threatening injury to Misha. Now, though, he had hardly given second thought to following Jensen through the sliding glass doors.

“Tryin’ to steal my boy?” Came a gruff voice from the bed.

They all turned and rushed forward, Chris’ name falling from their lips in almost perfect unison.

“Whoa guys, breathe. I’m fine,” He contradicted his statement by wincing as he repositioned himself on the stiff mattress. “Well, not one hundred percent but pretty damn close, okay?”

The doctor came in with a clipboard and a sharp rap on the halfway open door. He spared a quick glance around the room at the surrounding boys before looking down at the chart in his hands, “Hello Mr. Kane, good to see you’re awake. I’ve got a few tests results for you here.”

Chris nodded and Steve sat half on the bed to grasp his hand reassuringly, “So, what’s the damage doc?”

“Looks like three broken ribs, a fractured wrist, a couple of deep gashes we closed with stitches and a mild concussion,” The doctor listed in a monotone way, closing the file and glancing at his watch. “We’ve got you on pain meds through the IV, should you need more just call the nurse and she’ll administer another dose okay? Otherwise rest is the best medicine. Your friends should probably head out. Any questions?”

When Chris shook his head the man turned and left without a word, “Damn, obviously they’ve stopped teaching human emotions in med school.”

“Probably just the repetition of the day,” Jensen offered with a shrug.

Chris looked up at him with sad eyes, “Jen…”

“Don’t,” Jensen shook his head and smiled. “Dude, I don’t want to do this okay? We’re good. Don’t apologize to _me_.” It’s hard to miss the way he emphasizes the last word and adds a supposedly casual head bob in Jared’s direction.

Jared stared down at his shoes, shuffling them together nervously. He didn’t need an apology – or a thank you even – but he hoped he could be included in this group. They all seemed like good people – once you got to know them – and Jared could always use more friends in his life.

“So, wanna tell me how you found me?” Chris asked and it could have been directed at any one of them but his eyes never left Jared’s.

Jensen’s fingers curled around his, squeezing comfortingly. Jared glanced over at him, soaking in his warm smile for a moment before turning back to Chris. Once again he explained his story, this time adding a little more information to hopefully answer any questions the group might have.

“You mean… you’ve been dreaming about me? God Jared I’m flattered.” Chris arched an eyebrow curiously, a faint smile tugging on his lips.

Jared blinked, turning back to look at Jensen over his shoulder, slowly smiling when he saw the amusement dancing across Jensen’s features. “Well I didn’t know it was you.”

“Aw you can be honest son, Jensen’s pretty used to people wanting me more then they want him,” Chris chuckled along with everyone else and Jared’s tentative smile split into a megawatt grin.

“Good to see your ego’s just as intact as ever hun,” Steve shook his head, leaning down to press a kiss against Chris’ temple.

“There’s one thing I don’t get though,” Tom spoke up from his place leaning against the far wall.

Mike arched an eyebrow at him, “Just the one thing?”

“What led to all this? I mean, why did you meet Jensen in the alley? Was it all some sort of twisted fate thing?” Tom ignored Mike, pushing off the wall and folding his arms across his chest.

Jared looked from Jensen to Chris then to Tom, “If you believe in those sorts of things I suppose. I guess everything led to this moment. I mean, my parents took me and my brother out to that shack when I was only five years old, what are the chances that would be the place Jeremy Newton would take Chris to… you know.”

“Hey look! You’re on TV!” Chad pointed to the TV mounted to the wall and Steve reached out to grab the remote and turn up the volume.

The reporter on the television was speaking over an image of Chris being pushed into the hospital ER and then Jeremy Newton led into the police station in handcuffs.

“Wait a second. I know that guy!” Chris exclaimed, wincing as he pushed forward in his seat.

They turned to him and Jensen sighed, “Well yeah Chris, he just tried to kill you.”

“I was blind folded,” Chris rolled his eyes and stared intently at the picture of Jeremy Newton they flashed on the screen. “He… got it! The coffee shop. Jensen he’s the guy I bumped into when we were leaving the coffee shop after you gave me your birthday present.”

Everyone turned back to the TV to stare. “Seriously?” Mike whispered in the cold chill that settled over the room.

“But that was almost two weeks ago,” Steve cleared his throat. “This guy’s been targeting you?”

“That was the morning after I first had the dream,” Jared whispered, turning to Jensen. “Right? We ran into each other after you left Chris?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded a little dumbfounded. They stood in silence as they processed the information before Jensen added, “And I saw the truck outside the club that night. He must have followed you there.”

“Holy shit, that’s fucking freaky,” Chad voiced what they were all thinking.

“Alright I need to sleep, this is too much for my brain,” Chris shook his head, leaning heavily against Steve’s side. “When I get out of here we’re gonna have a massive party and get very wasted. Mike, you get the shrooms. And Jared? You should invite Misha. Not sure if he’s into that sort of thing, or if you are, but it’ll be at least worth watching.”

Jared blinked at him and slowly smiled, “Does this mean I’m not a lunatic anymore?”

“No, I’m pretty sure you still are… just… you know, on the same level as the rest of us so it’s okay I suppose,” He grinned then turned serious quite suddenly. “Thank you… for… for everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Jared nodded, lacing his fingers through Jensen’s.

*

Two weeks passed before Chris felt up to having their celebratory party. He still felt pretty sore but was fed up with lying around the house and being waited on. Or babied, as he called it. Steve, however, was less than pleased with the plan. Even as Jensen and Jared arrived he was arguing about it.

“Chris, you can’t handle this,” Steve was saying, arms raised as if to make his point. “You can still do damage to yourself. And haven’t you considered how the drugs will affect the medicine you’re already taking?”

“Steve,” Chris groaned, throwing his arms over his boyfriend’s shoulder and only flinching slightly. “I’m _fine_ and I’ve been so bored sitting around here. We need to do something fun.”

“Can’t we just have sex?” Steve grumbled.

“Ew, don’t need that mental image,” Chad shook his head, hooking up the Rock Band drum set and turning on the TV.

“We all know what you get off too,” Chris retorted, pulling Steve over to the love seat.

Jared turned to Jensen with wide eyes.

“Yeah, it’s always like this,” Jensen shrugged, leading them over to the couch. “You’ll get used to the flow after awhile.”

“Hey fuckers,” Mike fell onto the couch beside Jared and pulled him close. “Jared, my love. Where have you been all my life?”

“Mine, no touching,” Jensen tugged him back and ran fingers threw his hair.

“No Misha tonight?” Tom asked, joining them in the living room and popping open a beer.

Jared shook his head, “No, Lexis is over. They have about a million things to plan before the wedding next month. He said thanks for the invite though and um… if anything happens to me he’ll kill you all.”

“We’ll just send Steve after him, he’s wicked with a baseball bat,” Chris chuckled, nuzzling the side of Steve’s neck.

Steve just rolled his eyes.

Mike produced a small baggie, sorting through it before handing it over to Jared, who stared at it with wide eyes. “You don’t have to,” Jensen whispered softly, curling fingers around the plastic. “We can just smoke some, or you know, we don’t have to do anything. It’s totally up to you okay?”

“I want to,” Jared tightened his grip on the bag, reaching in with his free hand to pull out three large pieces. “I want to see how this feels.”

“Take that much and you won’t be feeling anything for a week,” Mike advised and Jensen took them from between his fingertips.

“Okay, we’ll do a little, but we’re gonna take it easy. You’re a walking trip without it, not sure how you’re gonna be with it,” Jensen shook his head and sorted through the caps to pick a decent sized one they could split. “First, drink that glass of water. All of it. And then fill it up again because you’ll need it after you’ve chewed this up.”

“Does it taste gross?” Jared asked, more nervous then he was willing to admit. He watched an amused expression pass between the friends.

Chad was the one to offer an answer, “Dude, it’s like chewing on shit flavored gum. Or snails. Probably similar to snails.”

“Worth it though,” Mike shrugged, tossing the cap into his mouth.

Jared stared at the offered item Jensen held out to him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked up at Jensen with narrowed eyes, “You think I’ll be okay?”

“I’m gonna be here with you, I promise.” Jensen smiled reassuringly.

Chad was right when he described how it tasted and Jared scrunched up his face as he chewed the sticky substance between his teeth. “Ew,” He whispered to Jensen and the entire room laughed.

“Warned ya,” Chad snorted, jumping across the room to snatch the bag from Jensen’s hand.

The conversation drifted to various things Jared didn’t pay attention to. Instead he reclined back, pressed into Jensen side. His stomach curled with nerves as he waited for the shrooms to take affect, unsure what to expect as the first signs.

Jensen cupped his fingers along Jared’s jaw line, turning their heads together so their lips could meet and slide together. Jared lost himself in warmth and wet and silk, tongues coming together then fighting for dominance. He lost track of the time, fingers sliding up to cup along Jensen’s neck as he half crawled into his lap.

They ignored the catcalls from the other men in the room, loosing themselves in the way the world seemed to tilt the more intense their kiss grew. Jared pulled back with a gasp, resting their foreheads together. Jensen radiated a bright baby blue, glowing against the dull background of the couch.

“Whoa dude, you’re brighter then the sky,” He whispered against the silk of his lips, leaning back to watch Jensen’s smile light up the room.

“I think its taken affect,” Chris or Steve said from across the room, Jared couldn’t tell which, the voices blurred together like one.

“You alright?” Jensen whispered, pulling them together again for another extended kiss.

“More than,” Jared nodded as he pulled all the way back and fell against the couch. The world around him was shifting through colors, almost impossibly to distinguish in their rapid transformation. After several blinks Jared realized the ghostly images of hundreds of people crowded together in the open spaces, some pressed so firm against the men Jared found it hard to believe they couldn’t _feel_ them.

“You float like a feather in a beautiful world,” Chad wailed into the microphone along with the music on the TV. Someone played the drums but Jared was too busy watching expressions filter across the ghost’s faces. “I wish I was special. You’re so fuckin’ special.”

“ _Kill_ me,” Mike grumbled somewhere to the right of him and the world tilted oddly as things shifted and slid.

He must have spent a good half hour – or maybe only a few minutes – staring at all the different faces, conversations not registering in his mind, because when he finally snapped into focus Mike and Jensen were both hovered over him, looking torn between amusement and concern. “Bad trip?” Mike asked.

“There’s so many,” Jared offered, pushing up from the floor. “How did I get here?”

“You fell,” Chad chuckled. “Bad trip. Get it? Cause you fell.”

“You’re _hilarious_ ,” Tom shook his head and offered a glass of water to Jared. “Drink, you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Jared didn’t argue, just took the glass and drained it, handing it back to Tom then turning to look at Jensen, “Let’s have sex.”

“Can we watch?” Chris asked, staring at them with glazed eyes, fingers dancing along Steve’s upper thigh.

“No,” Jensen shook his head and stood up, offering a hand to pull Jared up off the floor. “We’re using the guest bedroom. And locking the door. And if you interrupt us I will _kill_ you.” With that he wrapped his fingers tight around Jared’s wrist and pulled him down the hall.

The rounded the corner into the guest room and Jared watched the walls tremble when Jensen shut the door and turned the lock. “The house loves everyone.”

Jensen turned to him with a wide grin, stalking forward until he had him pressed against the wall that opened it’s arms to pull them closer, “Do you want this Jared? I want this. More then anything I want this.”

“Yeah,” Jared laid his head back – the wall made a pillow so he’d be comfortable – and groaned. “Sick of only blow jobs and hand jobs. Wanna feel you in me.”

“Wanna be in you,” Jensen mumbled into his neck, fingers tucking under his shirt and tugging it up over his head. “Gonna be so good.”

Jared lost himself in the heart of Jensen’s mouth over his chest, his tongue around his nipple. He moaned when they were suddenly falling back on the bed. Their remaining clothes were tossed haphazardly onto the floor – the ground rippling like a pond with each item – and the cool of the room washed over Jared like a refreshing breeze on a too warm day.

Jensen’s mouth was decorating familiar patterns along his hip bones, fingers reaching lower to circle and dip in the tight ring of muscle, slick with his spit. “Gonna need…” Jensen hissed, tongue dragging a slow line up Jared’s cock. “Be right back.”

The second wave of cold air was much less pleasant and Jared watched the door open and Jensen’s naked form head through it. He turned to the wall and smiled, the wall smiled back and offered him a blanket to use to keep warm. “Thank you but I think I’m okay,” He nodded, curling fingers loosely around his firm cock and stroking lazily.

This room was void of the ghostly people, save for a few hovering just outside the door way. When Jared propped his head up he could see them watching him curiously. “I love my boyfriend,” He explained. “Just keeping myself ready for him.”

“Good boy,” Jensen reappeared in the doorway, shutting the hard wood behind him and clicking the lock. “Damn you look gorgeous that way. I could watch this all day.”

“But then you wouldn’t get to fuck me,” Jared explained and the wall nodded, clearly seeing his wisdom in this argument.

Jensen climbed back on to the bed with a devilish smile, popping the cap on the bottle of lube in his hand and spreading it liberally over his fingers. Jared pulled his legs up to his chest, watching as Jensen’s eyes darkened at the sight, “Are you su-“

“Jensen,” Jared growled and the bed shook. “ _Do_ it.”

The firm pressure of Jensen’s finger in him was exhilarating, causing spirals of pleasure curling up his spine. He rocked against it and begged for another. With the third fought its way past the resistance and swiped across his prostate the room exploded with color. Jared lost himself in the steady slip slide of Jensen’s long fingers, moaning so loud the walls quivered.

“Jensen…” He hissed. “Gonna come if you don’t stop.”

Jensen chuckled in response, pulling back his fingers and reaching for the condom he’d brought in with the lube. Jared considered helping him prepare but was distracted by the way the wall sparkled the prettiest sea foam green, reflecting a prism like a rainbow across the ceiling. “Ready?” Jensen whispered and Jared could feel the blunt tip of the head of his cock against his entrance.

“Fuck yeah,” Jared nodded, closing his eyes as the burning pressure of Jensen stretching muscle further ricocheted up through his system.

“You okay?” Jensen gasped when he was pressed flesh against flesh.

Jared felt like he was floating in water, everything around him rocking and swaying, and the heat was almost too intoxicating. As the burn faded the intense urge for _more_ had him begging, “Move dammit.”

Jensen complied, pulling back far enough for Jared to open his eyes and ensure the man was still there. The walls twittered with giggles and he wanted to tell them to shush, but then Jensen was slamming forward, hitting his prostate at the almost perfect angle. Jared was fairly sure the noise that left his lips was nowhere near English or intelligible. Jensen groaned low in his throat and repeated the action.

Jared could barely breathe, just gasp for little puffs of oxygen that did little to keep the world from spinning around them with each press forward. Jensen started to make keening noises with every forward thrust – every pull out – picking up the pace as fingers tightened against Jared’s flesh.

A light began in the very centered of the room – minutes or possibly hours after Jensen filled him completely – and slowly spread. Crawled over them, haloed Jensen’s rocking form above him. The walls matched each moan, reverberated through the room. Jared locked his legs over Jensen’s shoulder and arched up impossibly high, chanting Jensen’s name.

“Gonna come,” Jensen growled. “Can’t hold on.”

Everything exploded in a blast of white when Jensen’s fingers curled around his cock and _squeezed_. The walls curved with the weight of his scream, catching it and sending it back to swallow them. Jared wasn’t sure when Jensen hit, maybe half a dozen thrusts – maybe twenty minutes – but then they both fell side by side on the mattress. It wrapped firm arms around them soothingly as they panted for the return of oxygen.

“Amazing,” Jared breathed, curled into Jensen’s body. “You made the room _glow_.”

Jensen chuckled and tangled his fingers up in Jared’s hair, “Not too bad yourself kid.”

“Oh _Jared_ ,” Mike’s voice crowed from outside the door, followed by a loud wave of laughter that made the walls tremble with joy. Apparently the house was very fond of her boys.

“Fuck off ass wipes,” Jensen retorted easily, brushing kisses along Jared’s jaw line. “I love you…” He breathed against his skin.

Jared turned to him as the room shifted to the baby blue from before. He grinned brightly and the walls reached out to stroke them lovingly. “I love you too.”

*

 _Jared stood in the wide expanse of a bright green field. Similar to the previous one he hadn’t dreamt of for two weeks, only here the sky remained blue and the clouds were whiter than snow. Laughter danced along the grass and Jared couldn’t hold back his own joy._

 _“You know that he’s your answer,” A man said from behind him and Jared turned to watch him curiously._

 _He looked familiar but it took Jared a minute to place him because he glowed an earthly white and not his usual dark red. “Dad?” He stepped forward hesitantly and frowned. “You look so different,”_

 _“I never told you many things son,” His father walked toward him with a smile, pulling him in for a tight hug. “I never told you how important you’d be for the world.”_

 _“But I’m not,” Jared argued, staring at his dad with watery eyes. “I’m no one and you left me here all alone.”_

 _“You will be though,” The man insisted, taking Jared’s hand leading him up a hill Jared hadn’t even noticed before. When they reached the top Jared could see the whole world and his father gestured toward it with a wide sweeping arm. “So many people wait down there. Wait for you to bring them peace, justice. To save them from an end they shouldn’t have to suffer.”_

 _Jared watched the lights in all the buildings fade, watched the darkness creep across the land. Screams echoed and overlapped, cries for loved ones spiraling together to turn the sky a deep velvety black. Almost tangible._

 _“Oh god…” Jared groaned in pain, turning his back on the world – on the pain. “I can’t be involved with that. I can’t handle that.”_

 _“It’s your gift to bear,” His father soothed a hand along his spine. “It’s been given to you.”_

 _Jared spun to him narrowing his eyes in anger, “I don’t want it. I never asked for any of it. This isn’t fair.”_

 _“Son,” His father’s hands fell heavy on his shoulders, turning him so they stood face to face. “We left you in this world to do what was right. You’re not going to back out now. We sacrificed ourselves for you.”_

 _“You killed Momma and Jeffrey!” Jared flared back. Stopping just as suddenly when his father’s form began to fade. “No! You can’t leave yet! I need to know why! I need to know why you left me here.”_

 _“Everything has a reason son,” The fading figure whispered like a breeze across his cheeks. “He’s your answer. You’ll figure it out.”_

 _A single gust of wind and Jared stood alone in the green field that no longer danced with laughter but echoed with the remaining screams of the people he was supposed to save._


	7. Epilogue

Jared straightened his tie in the full length mirror, frowning when he couldn’t seem to get it just perfect. “Hate these fucking things,” He grumbled to himself, undoing the entire thing and starting over.

“Let me,” Jensen offered, coming into the room with a laugh and spinning Jared to face him. His fingers worked quickly over the material and he smiled up at his boyfriend, “Someday you’ll learn to dress yourself.”

“Then I’ll have no need of you or Misha and I can continue on my quest to rule the word all on my own,” He tilted his head back and laughed in his best – and most evil – way.

Jensen smirked and leaned forward to press a kiss against his lips, “I was just being nice Jay, you’ll never learn to dress yourself right.”

“Hardy har,” Jared shook his head and wrapped his arms low around Jensen’s waist, pulling him forward to seal their lips in a deeper kiss, chasing Jensen’s tongue along his teeth. “Mmm,” He whispered into the air between them. “I love you.”

“I know,” Jensen smiled and pulled back, turning to the mirror to adjust his own tie and squeaking when Jared pinched his ass. “Hey! Hands off the merchandise.”

“But you’re _my_ merchandise,” Jared whined and stepped up behind Jensen’s form, head resting on his shoulder so he could watch them sway in the mirror. “My all time favorite merchandise. The bestest of all the pretty boys.”

“Gentlemen, I can only handle so much gay at my wedding,” Misha appeared at the door way, arms folded across his chest.

Jared grinned at him, bouncing forward to throw arms around Misha, “I can’t believe my little Mish Mish is getting married! I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut up,” Misha smiled fondly at him, returning the hug a little longer than completely necessary.

Jared pulled back to raise a curious eyebrow at him, “Nervous Misha?”

“Everyone’s nervous on their wedding day,” Misha shrugged although Jared noticed his hands were shaking as he walked away. “Even if I’m the coolest of the cool on the average day. You’d be nervous too if you were marrying someone like Lexis.”

“If I was straight I would be marrying Lexis,” Jensen snorted and they both turned to him. “What? She’s gorgeous! And even more so with every passing day. Pregnant women are so pretty.”

“My boyfriend has a pregnant woman kink. That’s… a little disturbing,” Jared shook his head and looked at Misha for help.

Jensen just chuckled and went back to fixing his hair in the mirror, “I’d never _do_ a pregnant woman. And seriously Jared, you see dead people-“

“Would you stop with the sixth sense references? I can only take so much,” Jared grumbled.  
Misha blinked at both of them and sighed, “Me? My day. Can we stop with the gay love?”

“Don’t bash the gays!” Chris appeared in the doorway, throwing his arm over Misha’s shoulder. “You boys are needed at the front. Lexis said, and I quote, ‘let’s get this shit over with because getting out of this dress is a bitch and I’m gonna have to pee in no less than a half hour’.” Chris grinned and tugged Misha out the room, Jared and Jensen following. “Girl has a foul mouth at the best of times huh?”

“That’s why I love her,” Misha chuckled. “Well… that and she’s a fucking animal in bed.”

“Ew,” Jared, Jensen, and Chris all groaned at once, stopping to look at each other before cracking into loud waves of laughter as they headed to the front of the church.

Lexis was stunning in her wedding dress, stomach slightly curved, hair spiraled up in curves piled along the top of her head. Beside him Misha inhaled sharply and Jared couldn’t resist grabbing his hand in support, grinning when his friend cast him a quick look.

The church was easier to stand in than he thought it would be, which only proved his theory that things were getting better. The ghosts were still there, they were _always_ there, but it wasn’t so intolerable. He didn’t always need his iPod for sanity, could actually meet people’s eyes and manage a smile that – for the most part – reached his eyes.

Jared allowed himself to drift through the past months, long hours spent kissing Jensen in his bed, against the wall, in the back of Mike’s van. Wasted time hanging around the guy’s house, smoking weed, making fun of Chad, laughing at stupid jokes. Busy days planning Misha and Lexis’ wedding – random trips to fulfill Lexis’ bizarre cravings, standing around in lines to try different wedding cakes, and sitting in dress shops watching Lexis try on white fluffy dress after white fluffy dress. It had all passed in a blur of more joy then Jared had experienced in his entire life put together.

Jensen nudged his side, jerking him out of his memories as the pastor started talking to the couple before him. Jared grinned over at him, lacing their fingers together and squeezing before giving his full attention to the wedding.

*

“Who is _that_?” Chad’s eyes widened as he took in a stunning brunette in a baby pink dress standing by Misha and Lexis at the cake table, reaching out to rub Lexis’ belly.

Jared turned and grinned toward the girl then at Jensen and back at Chad, “That’s _Sophia_. We totally knew you’d be into her.”

Chad exhaled loudly, leaning against the back of his seat as if just looking at her took all his energy away, “I must be with her. Now. Tomorrow, possibly forever.”

The group rolled their eyes almost in sync and Tom reached over to squeeze his shoulder, “Right. Let’s see if you feel this way when she shoots you down.”

Chad pushed off the chair and made a beeline for the girl only to chicken out three fourths of the way there, turning to pretend to pick through the finger foods. The boys around the table chuckled, Mike slapping a five dollar bill on the table in front of Tom.

“I take pity on the guy, I think I’ll introduce them,” Jared pushed out of the chair and Mike leaned over to whisper something in Tom’s ear, chuckling softly.

“Jared doesn’t know Chad’s remarkably awful record,” Chris shook his head. “I take pity on _him_.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Steve glanced over at Tom and Mike, Jensen and Chris doing likewise.

The two boys looked up and their lips curved up in matching, wicked grins. “Oh we’re just discussing the potential of getting Chad a little more then tipsy here at the wedding and letting him loose on the oh so delicate _Sophia_.”

Jensen shook his head while Steve and Chris laughed; there was no way Chad was going to win over the girl.

*

“Come on, I’ll introduce you,” Jared cupped the back of Chad’s arm, leading him toward the cake table before Chad could protest, little blocks of cheese puffing up his cheeks. “Misha my love!” Jared cheered, throwing his arms around his friends. “Gotta admit man, Lexis is totally hotter than you today, you must be off your game.”

“Oh my god Lexis,” Sophia giggled. “You’re turning the gay straight! Even while you’re pregnant.”

Lexis giggled as well, bouncing forward to throw her arms up around Jared’s neck. “You’ll be the best honorary brother in law ever.”

Jared kissed her cheek then pulled back to gesture to Chad at his side, “Sophia, this is Chad. Chad, meet Sophia.”

“Nice to meet you,” She smiled at him, brushing her hair over her shoulder.  
Chad blinked several times and swallowed loudly before coughing and mumbling, “You’re fucking hot.”

“Smooth,” Misha nodded, linking his arm with Jared’s and throwing his other arm over Lexis’ shoulders. “Sorry Sophia, the boy here is a little…”

“Slow?” Jared offered.

“Stupid?” Lexis giggled.

Chad turned to her with a frown, “Hey I’ve only met you once, you can’t make that assumption about me yet. You have no proof!”

Sophia giggled and reached out to grab his arm, “Come on, let’s dance.”

Chad threw a look over his shoulder at them as Sophia dragged him away, eyes wide. They grinned at him, Jared letting his head fall against Misha’s shoulder, “Aw they’re gonna be a super cute couple.”

“Lord help us all,” Lexis shook her head. “Chad should never reproduce. And yes, I know this after only one real visit.”

“You’re very right,” Jensen stepped up to them, snagging Jared around the waist and pulling him close. “I’m just gonna steal my boyfriend back and let you two get back to doing your… wedding stuff or whatever it is you do at this point in time.”

“We’re going to cut the cake,” Misha shrugged. “Figured you couldn’t possibly care about cake.”

“I want cake,” Jared said with an excited whisper, grabbing Jensen’s hand. “Can’t we have cake. I love cake. I want it!”

“Down tiger, pretty sure the cake’s not gonna go anywhere,” Jensen tugged him off and Jared went semi-willingly, pouting over his shoulder at the cake until they’d rounded the corner and disappeared into a small utility room.

Jensen wrapped fingers around his collar, tugging him down to press their lips together firmly. Jared moaned against the soft silk before pulling back with a soft chuckle, “Seriously dude? The blow job this morning wasn’t enough for you?”

“I’m not looking for sex here,” Jensen shook his head, smoothing his hand up through his hair. “I just want you to know I’m proud of you.”

“Well isn’t that sweet,” Jared grinned, nuzzling their noses together. “You’re such a sweet little boyfriend.”

“Don’t mock,” Jensen pinched his ass and grinned back. “Look, there are a lot of people here and you’re handling things really well.”

“Oh…” Jared bit his bottom lip, worrying it slightly. “Well, I guess I’m trying not to think about. If I don’t focus on them then they kinda of fade away. Plus there is you. I can always turn to you.”

“Now who’s being the sweet little boyfriend?” Jensen pressed a series of kisses along his neck. “I love you, you know?”

“Do you?” Jared grinned at him. “How much?”

“Well, I’m willing to help you on this supposed quest to save the world or whatever it is,” Jensen smirked. “And that’s saying something cause I really don’t care much about the world honestly.”

“You’re such a happy person,” Jared nodded wisely. “You have to help me. You’re my answer.”

“Yeah I know, it’s the only reason you keep me around.”

“No,” Jared frowned. “There’s the sex. I’m a pretty big fan of that.”

“Oh just shut up and say you love me too.”

“I love me too,” Jared grinned wickedly, wrapping arms around him to lift him up off the ground and press a noisy kiss to his cheek. “Cake!”

“Freak,” Jensen shook his head but let the man pull him out of the closet and back to the reception where Misha and Lexis were just cutting the cake. Chad was clinging to Sophia on the dance floor and Tom, Mike, Chris, and Steve were making bets about how quickly he would make an ass of himself.

“I love you too,” Jared whispered into his ear, kissing the spot right below the lobe and squeezing his hand before heading off to the cake table.

Jensen watched him go with a fond smile before turning to join his friends.

The End  



End file.
